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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

#20078928
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8668) - you deserved it (41508)

On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16621) - you deserved it (27480)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37857) - you deserved it (2337)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32251) - you deserved it (7675)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

#20078083
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (1951)

On 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by he is going to hell (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (28166)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13592) - you deserved it (35831)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30513) - you deserved it (1655)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (5479)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

#20056763
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9498) - you deserved it (54923)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22858) - you deserved it (4645)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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