Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML
Today, I came home and walked into my living room to see my roommate passed out naked, porn autoplaying on the living room TV, a killed 12-case of beer, and dried jizz all over the couch from God knows how many loads. “I thought you were coming home tomorrow,” he said. At least the sofa is leather. FML
Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML
Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML
Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML
Today, I woke up on the couch in front of the television covered with a blanket. Last night, I'd come home pissed from the pub, fired up porn, got my pants off and settled down for a wank. However, this morning the telly was off, my trousers were on, and I don't remember a blanket. I live with my mom. FML
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Top comments
Tenantry 0
I never new that many people eat food naked till I started reading FML.
waywardson 0
Who watches **** on a bar stool?
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Comments (90)
horyo 0
At least you weren't "fully naked."
bobnorris 0
did **** make your butthole hurt? If so, relocate to an area far away from your roommate. He might be gay.
adins1997 0
hahahahahaha that's hilarious!!
Rookemace 0
Haha, at least your roommate had the decency to cover you up.
beckorw 0
his room mate didn't cover him... the lettuce from his sandwich did?
Cryptix 0
5 words, Laughing My ******* Ass Off but that sucks
WSUlife19 0
WTF hahhaha
Tenantry 0
I never new that many people eat food naked till I started reading FML.
oohay 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This sounds made up to me. . . Something about watching **** while eating lunch naked then getting knocked out? It's sort of like a best of F My Life, no?
AnnStarfire 0
... If you know there's a possiblity your roomate's coming home soon, why are you watching **** naked? dumbass.
waywardson 0
Who watches **** on a bar stool?
deadkenn8 0
hahahaha that made me laugh more than the fml.
joeyl2008 29
It's the best if you turn the stool upside down
Tehalon 0
Who watches **** while eating lunch?!
Jancho 0
I agree with #5 This story is just stolen from a movie. I have heard it years ago! This is just FAKE! Go get a life, don't you have anything better to do, than making yourself look like an idiot?