Animals: Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next...

By pretty princess - 01/02/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 814

You deserved it 4 947

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Same thing different taste

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 549

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 142

Don't touch me, bitch

By Grace - 14/11/2020 23:02

Today, I found out that when you try to pick up my cat, its response is to let out the most stinky fart it can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 197

By orely44 - 08/03/2013 14:13 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 661

You deserved it 9 600

By nullpointer - 03/08/2016 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 800

You deserved it 1 974

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 495

By sippinsoup22 - 16/02/2016 01:25 - United States - Houston

Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 753

You deserved it 2 469

The Lovecats

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 09:01 - United States - Springfield

Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 06/01/2016 06:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 2 163

By raven_of_azarath - 19/06/2019 12:23

Today, I found out my 15-year-old cat is having gas problems when she farted in my face. My mouth was open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 308

OEsEben 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 1:45

my girlfriend does this

VexDraham 0

Friday 27 February 2009 17:04

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Thats so great! I love your cat! lol.

Comments

OEsEben 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 1:45

my girlfriend does this

Wreckless_fml 6

Friday 2 September 2011 20:42

Hate it when that happens.

djdeathwish 0

Friday 6 February 2009 21:31

Your own fault for having a cat.

MrCatman1125 2

Friday 26 October 2012 4:13

What's wrong with cats? They have just as much right to be in a home as any other thing, be it animal or man.

jessie841 11

Sunday 2 August 2015 2:41

I tend to agree.... Most cats aren't that nice

VexDraham 0

Friday 27 February 2009 17:04

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Thats so great! I love your cat! lol.

pacmanaids 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 17:15

I lol'd so hard at this. Your cat is awesome.

leye 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 1:40

aha #2...I feel sorry for you...LMAO!! funny cat... :P

l30n 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:19

I hate cats.

me127 17

Friday 9 January 2015 1:05

I hate you.

trapiadora 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 7:08

Oh what thats wierd. Maybe you should get a new cat. jk

SAF_fml 0

Monday 8 June 2009 5:51

Dont get a new cat, this one is obviously smart and likes you in a cute weird way

lakeylove 0

Friday 10 July 2009 22:54

Your cat likes you! Sharing is caring!

bigraws23 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 14:48

What's a touch me not cat?

ThisRandomChild 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 20:01

The cat doesn't want to be touched. Not too difficult a concept really. Cats suck anyways.

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Same thing different taste

Thanks for the support

Don't touch me, bitch

The Lovecats

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