Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mom’s rescue dog snarled at me in an especially nasty way when I passed his bed. Turns out he stole mom’s purse, opened the zipper, and was now lying in a cozy nest of paper money. He was not at all amused by us trying to steal his treasure back. FML
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, I received a $100 bill in the mail as a late graduation present. I placed it on the table so I could go to the bathroom. I come back to find the table empty and my $100 bill missing. The fan blew the money on the floor and my 8 week old puppy ate it. FML
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML
Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML
Today, I was cleaning my apartment when I found a €20 note underneath the sofa cushion. I was pretty happy until I remembered I'd lost €20 a few days earlier and spent an hour looking for it. I'd finally found my own money and felt lucky about it. FML
Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML
Today, while I have never been able to say my dog ate my homework, I do get to call several people and tell them my dog ate my wallet. He even chewed up my driver's license. FML
Today, I lost my wallet while out shopping. Panicked, I retraced my steps and found it at a store, turned in by an employee. Grateful, I opened it to find a note that read, "We left the money but took one dollar for karma." I checked. They did actually take one dollar. FML
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Top comments
hedgerow 0
dude your dog could've been killed.
alkanechain 0
Your mom is an idiot. Whether or not you deserved losing your money, the puppy doesn't deserve having all those plastic shards tearing through his system.
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Comments (130)
mylifeblows3232 3
first
lolpwnagelol 0
first! hopefully this time I am
hXcsoccerplaya 0
sounds like a bitch: your money being eaten, the wife, and your dog. FYL
farsidee 0
funny stuff
Monikabug 9
The wife? I didn't know the OP was married to his mum.
cater2U 0
what are you talking about there's no wife. and OP maybe you should stop leaving your wallet on the floor
hXcsoccerplaya 0
hmm sorry, I typed what I was thinking instead of what was on screen; I meant mom.
woofis 0
lol
DenisTheMenace 13
fyl :0
MrPresidentBoss1 0
not healthy for the dog not cool
MrPresidentBoss1 0
also bad parenting I leave my sh*t around my own home all the time cause I f**king live there.
falluke17 0
39 win
ryguy997 0
make her pay you back now. but if she did that you must be carless of your wallet. or your mom us just a bitch.
ryguy997 0
#48 so you have shit stains on the floor? * I see...* aha! you have ****** up dog syndrome! also known as FUDS.
ReyEr9412 0
WOW THAT BITCH! Your mom was also being mean.
CharliePoops 0
props to your dog, don't worry, he'll learn his lesson next time he *****...
dothedew4ever 4
indeed 39 is a win
deathcab7 0
sucks.
LoveIsLife105 1
what does OP mean?
cuntwaffle 0
sell that puppy
M4V3R1CKR13 0
that can kill the dog eating debit cards
MhP_fml 0
Well she could have just given it to a criminal and let him rack up the credit cards.
gregsdaman 0
what does op mean?
Ouroboros_fml 0
dude, £40, that's like OVER 9000 dollars!
harryman04 0
39 wins
Rosalina5000 0
I would never do that! My mom also wouldn't let one of my dogs chew the wallet up.
TomFantastic 0
#94, three £20 notes does not come to £40
yottskry 0
Original Poster, i.e. the person who wrote the FML
mmmmBLT 0
rawr
PandasRtheShit 0
That sucks
CHUCKBARTOWSKl 0
Baxter I'm not even angry I'm impressed BTW you know I don't speak Spanish
FernandoTorres_fml 0
That's an expensive lesson...
fma_fml 0
shouldn't have left your wallet around shouldn you? YDI and your dog should go to a vet, plastic terrible for dogs.
Monikabug 9
Wow! I can't believe your mother did that! FYL OP
MrsxStewart 4
Well hopefully you learned your lesson
hobofdurlife 0
haha my mother would have at least taken the cash out and left the rest to suffer ad my dogs treat haha
hedgerow 0
dude your dog could've been killed.