Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25753) - you totally deserved it (8182)
On 02/04/2010 at 5:47am - money - by Maxwell - Sent from mobile version
(0)It doesn't mean the OP is a terrible parent. Do you have children? Have you ever watched children for an extended amount of time? You can not keep your eyes on them at all times. They're quick. The worst is when you're sitting in another room and you realize it's far too quiet.
Ive had my nephew get himself stuck on an outside staircase in a matter of 2 minutes. Kids are kids.
(+15)Why was a shredder accessible to your four-year-old, for that matter!
#10 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:11pm by BeeSkwaird
(0)I agree with idkweird on number 8#. I used to be a Children. they have insanely strange minds and they will destroy anything they can. If I found Money when I was 3 or any other kind of Paper I would Shred it to. But my Nieces and Nephew have shown me it's hard to keep track of a Child no Matter how good a Parent you are. Think god I'm still a Teenager and Still Young.
#25 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:23pm by GeoThermalSleuth
(+15)God forbid you watch your kid, put your money out of reach, and/or unplug the shredder when not in use. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to breed. YDI, dumbass.
http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/pubs/5127.html
(+1)nolimits: putting the money out of reach, I agree with. As I've pointed out in earlier comments, it is impossible to watch your kid every second of every day. Also, as someone who used to have a shredder for my home office, who the fuck wants to plug in and unplug the shredder every time they need it?
Most shredders can only shred paper and can't shred fingers. There's no point in shutting it off if there isn't a 4 year old with access to large quantities of money. Im pretty sure the OP wasn't thinking his kid would be in shredding all his money while he was doing something else for a couple minutes.
It only takes a couple minutes to do that kind of damage, fyi.
(+3)GeoThermal--what's With the Random capitalization?
#56 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:56pm by snickerdoodles
(-17)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Cause Its Fun. Way the heck do you care about grammer. Remember the results of your last grammer Nazi session. WE DONT NEED ANOTHER ONE!
#60 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:59pm by GeoThermalSleuth
(-9)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
35# I used to be a Children meaning a was once a 5 year old and I know how they think.
FYL? Thank you. it's nice to know someone cares.
#61 - On 02/04/2010 at 3:01pm by GeoThermalSleuth
(0)#61, I think he was poking fun at the fact that children is the plural form of child. So you were basically saying that when you were a "more than one child." lol :)
(+2)idkweird, thanks, I'm going through a sarcastic phase at the moment. (One that has lasted since the day I learnt to speak, apparently.)
(0)can't you take the pieces to the bank and get money back in return for the shreds?
#77 - On 02/04/2010 at 3:46pm by haydenshaw
(-4)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
72# Yes that's what I meant. thanks for clarifing that. I like talking weird like that.
Also, 75# said he (or she) is going through a Sarcastic Stage? Good for you, Sacrasm is one of the funniest parts of the English Language.
#81 - On 02/04/2010 at 3:54pm by GeoThermalSleuth
(+1)maybe they had the $500 in a purse or wallet, hidden in a closet or something. kids are curious little boogers, you don't think they'll go snooping around to find mischief? i doubt the op had large amounts of cash just lying around. think a little......
#103 - On 02/04/2010 at 5:15pm by ipooprainbows
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
PBTH! What does it have to do with parenting? Honestly, parent or no, why would ANYONE. ANYWHERE. Have $500 in cash? Just... around? I understand if you had to make a $500 payment to a place that only accepts cash and you were very nervously taking it directly from the bank to your destination sure. But um... obviously that's not the case.
(0)@som: it's not that odd to have $500 in cash is it? Not everybody uses plastic... My parents are small business owners and every now and then there's thousands of dollars in a paper bag. Not that I ever knew about this when I was little haha.
@OP: sucks for you, but you should discipline your child better. I don't think this is a matter of where you put your money or having access to shredder. But even at four, your child shouldn't dare to 'steal' from your purse. Teach him that the shredder isn't a toy. Or have the shredder in an office-only space.
(-1)Well then you deserve it when something like this happens to you!
#175 - On 02/04/2010 at 10:46pm by SarahAnne_2009
(+1)I can understand how children can find money lying around, they're clever. but you should NEVER leave a shredder on or accesable to a young child.
(+2)if "kids toys" are paper shredders and $500 in cash... at the very least they are not responsible and likely lack a few basic parenting skills such as "sharp objects bad for kids"
(0)My thoughts exactly.
FYL for losing so much money, but YDI for having it where your kid could get it...
(0)I love how everyone on FML is perfect. idiot y is the shredder out. moron y did u leave money laying around ect. shit happns.
(-1)I agree. Amazing, all of the YDIs and the harsh judgement is coming from kids who not only don't have kids themselves, but can remember being 4 year olds like it was, oh idk, yesterday?
#196 - On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am by girlygirl666
(+1)@77
YES! yes, yes, yes! If the cereal numbers are intact (or can be re-constructed), you can trade them in. It happens all the time in cases of fire damage.
(+2)yeah kids are naughty - but a 4 yr old playing with 500 bucks and a paper shredder - Dumbass parenting
(+1)Being a teenager is not an excuse to put capital letters on every two words!
#204 - On 02/05/2010 at 3:40am by DeservedIt
(0)Or you can cover them with milk and eat them with a spoon.
;)
#207 - On 02/05/2010 at 4:27am by CallMeHush
(0)hahahahaahahah ic ant stop laughing at this comment!!!
#209 - On 02/05/2010 at 4:51am by gisii1988
(+1)Buddy, according to you, if a child drowns it wouldn't be the parents fault because he can't watch his or her child at all time? Come on! Everybody knows kids are kids, thats why parents always have to be 3 steps ahead of the child, not the opposite.
(0)if your ever around kids then you know how they are. sometimes it's a complete mystery on how they get things down from certain places
(0)#8 you're an idiot. People not watching their kids enough is the reason the country is going into the crapper. They expect everyone else to watch their kids then blame media/schools/teachers/politicians when their kids go on shooting sprees.
@OP: YDI for not watching the brat.
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
r u stupid? have u ever watched a child in your life? if u hav and they never did anything bad then id like 2 kno y jesus spawned a kid and y u even need 2 watch it. i have to watch my lil brother and he was just as bad this kid. learn that children r demons and when they stop being demons ill give u $500
#279 - On 03/14/2010 at 12:04am by alex4britan
(0)Alex, the OP said their four year old SON. I think that qualifies for having watched a child in their life...
#281 - On 03/14/2010 at 6:01am by containsnosoy
(+1)@nonotme: I think you misunderstood my comment. I don't think parents shouldn't be responsible for their kids, it's quite the opposite, in fact. What I'm saying is this: We have no idea how the situation happened, so who are we to judge their parenting skills?
Personally, when I had a home office, I had a personal shredder. I had to because of the sensitive information I worked with. It was also the type where it was impossible to get fingers in it. So, if my niece or one of my nephews were to be in there, I wouldn't have to worry about them. It also only turned on when you put paper in it. Therefore, even if the top had been taken off and they were touching the bottom where the actual shredding part is, it wouldn't be on. So, if the OP had a shredder anything like that, they wouldn't think twice about having a child around it, because it couldn't cause an injury.
Also, parents can NOT keep their eyes on their children 24/7. It's impossible. Nothing else would ever get done if they did. When I was 3, my mom was getting ready for...idk, but she was in the bathroom, and I decided to help her iron. I think it maybe took me one minute, at the most, to grab the iron and run it over my fingers.
When I worked in a Children's hospital, I saw all sorts of things kids did in the moments their parents weren't watching.
For all we know, the OP could have been cooking dinner while the child shredded up 500 bucks. If they were hundreds, it would have been pretty darn quick! Hell, he could have put all 5 in at once, if they were hundred dollar bills.
Basically, we have no idea how long it took, why the OP had 500 dollars in cash easily accessible, or what led to him losing track of the child. So, though it's still completely the OP's fault, that doesn't necessarily make him a bad parent.
(0)OMG I totally understand! The first time I babysat my twin sisters alone, I was 15 and they were 4. They were playing "hide-and-go-seeK". I found them a half an hour later, after calling and searching everywhere, locked in the dryer! We have a stackable now.
#303 - On 03/26/2010 at 5:44pm by rosieposie22
(-2)I would beat his little ass im only 13 but if i had a kid and he did that i would beat his ass im gonna be a nice parent but my child ever does that plz call the police
#305 - On 03/29/2010 at 6:48pm by Alex8grade
(0)Don't call her a dumbass. You don't know how kids can find anything these days no matter where you hide it. My five-year old cousin managed to get a chair, stack a few pillows on top of it and climb onto the top of the pillows to get my uncle's briefcase. And trust me, their wardrobe is pretty tall. Anyway, regardless from that, people make mistakes. Are you trying to tell me that you're some kind of "perfect" immortal? Well congratulations on the perfection #37 but because you're so "perfect" it still does not give you the right to judge someone else of whom you do not know the circumstances of the situation.
(-1)you can take it to the bank and they will replace any damaged bills with new ones. not an fml
#100 - On 02/04/2010 at 4:56pm by HeresReality
(0)Take the notes back to the bank and have them replaced. as long as they have all the pieces they can do it. you might need some sticky tape!!
(+3)don't most shredders have on/off switches? why wasn't that implemented with a child in the home?
(+5)You deserve it for allowing your son access to anything that contains that amount of money and for not watching him better. No wonder why kids nowadays seem to be getting dumb and behave like douchebags. You still have time though, become a good parent and stop whining about things you have control of, or should have control of (in other words control your kid and get off the damn computer).
(0)I agree with not having the money lying around, but no parent can have eyes on their child at all times.
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
#3 I bet ur perfect. u probly don't even have to wipe after u shit. man must b so great!
(+1)Either you're an idiot and leave a shredder and 500 dollars around or your son is loaded with cash! ... nevermind... It doesn't matter, the OP is still an idiot no matter what happened. I would tell the OP to have a cookie to feel better, but the OP doesn't deserve a cookie!
#7 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:08pm by saranottelling
(+5)Your kid not only had access to your money but was also unsupervised around a paper shredder? YDI for parenting FAIL.
Put the remains in clear plastic tubes with pen bottoms and sell them to novelty stores.
#9 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:11pm by CallMeHush
(-2)Yes because paper shredders have contributed widely to childhood fatalities. Tell me, what paper shredder has so scarred you that it's unfathomable for them to be around children?
Kids get into any and everything. Not so much as a parenting fail as a 'damn, that really sucks, kids have sticky fingers'.
#133 - On 02/04/2010 at 7:06pm by FutileResistance
(+4)I wouldn't like a four year old near my shredder. If you take the shredder part off of the waste catcher the blades are exposed underneath on mine. Granted, it can't be turned on in that state, but those blades are pretty damn sharp.
(-4)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
I'm just saying most of the shredders I've seen are pretty much idiot-proof. Then again, Darwin awards exist for a reason.
#160 - On 02/04/2010 at 9:37pm by FutileResistance
(+3)My 6 year old managed to get his finger caught in one. Little fingers get sucked in fairly easy.
#208 - On 02/05/2010 at 4:33am by CallMeHush
(0)Who knew Richie Rich was so technologically impaired?
( "I clicked the "x".. where did the window go..?" )
(+3)You fail for not watching your own kid! Especially around a shredder. Be happy it wasn't his fingers, you failure!
#13 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:13pm by roaminginsomniac
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
um, dude, you definitely can't get your fingers into a paper shredder, haha!
(-2)You must wipe your butt with twenty dollar bills to have that kind of money laying around. Invite me over.
#15 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:13pm by alexandraa
(0)Probably not. It was probably more along the lines of, OP has some sort of job where you get paid large amounts less frequently.
FOR EXAMPLE:
While running a construction company, my father only got money from the customers at a few set points in the job. Depending on what he and his crew were doing, none of them may get paid for something like 3 weeks, and then all of a sudden, get three weeks worth of pay in one check. If one of them were to cash that check, they would have a ton of money just laying around, in their wallet.
#28 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:24pm by boatkicker
(+1)@15
There's lots of situations where you can end up with lots of cash for brief periods of time. If you run a charity, for instance, you can easily end up with dozens of small cash donations. I have a friend who ran a pie-in-the-face event for a charity recently who had to walk across the university with $700+ in her backpack.
There's also a story about a Libertarian supporter who got pulled off his plane for carrying several thousand dollars of donation money in his bag, since he didn't have time to go to a bank first. Security people held him for a long time (partially because he didn't want to admit to being a libertarian in that particular state, since they'd labeled "being a member of the Libertarian Party" as a high-risk-for-terrorism activity.
Also, while it's a lot of money, it's still not an absolutely ridiculous sum. It's not like it was a briefcase full of 20s that he had lying around to be shredded.
(0)Your kid is right -- that was funny! He's a natural-born comedian, but you paid way too much for that show. For that kind of money, you coulda had front row seats at the Gallagher show and got pelted with watermelon chunks -- high comedy indeed!
(0)Nothing will light up you day like a little smashed watermellon. There is nothing like the smell of smashed fruit in the morning.
#94 - On 02/04/2010 at 4:34pm by CallMeHush
(0)Napalm? Really?
And here I thought your favorite scent was hookers and crack.
;D
#130 - On 02/04/2010 at 7:01pm by myfriend_youfail
(0)myfriend_youfail, +10 internets for accurately spotting my real favourite scents. However, -10 internets if you really didn't get the Apocalypse Now reference. If you did get the reference then you can have them back. Oooohhhh go on, just have them anyway!
(0)You can still send the shreds in to the Treasury Department to get replacement bills.
#17 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:15pm by VermontGirl
(0)yep, get some tape and some time and mail the bills to the treasury, it will take some time but you will get them replaced. im a banker and i had a guy come in with 1000 of hundreds partly burned up, he mailed it in and got it replaced.
(+1)What kind of shredder do you have? If it just shreds in strips, collect them and put them together as best you can. Banks will replace damaged currency provided it can still be reliably identified. You might still have a chance at recovering the money.
#18 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:17pm by cthulhu1138
(0)MercyFML ur comments are never funny I know u try but u fail everytime sorry to break the news to you
#19 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:17pm by iamgoofymovie
(+1)Normally - I am kinda funny, but Darling.. my heart hasn't been it lately. This is -not- trying.
Wanna know why? Because FML has been over run with 9 year olds who think saying " lolwatz ur ghey" is the height of comedy. I am truly saddenly by how un-fucking-funny you little bed wetters are; you somehow have managed to suck the joy out of one of the fun websites. Honestly, you should be drowned or aborted in your current trimester. That is all.
(+1)No need to be defensive, Mercy, you are funny.
If it were for people like us, the comments would be a barren wasteland of "That sucks," "Make him/her/me a sammich," and "YDI for being a whore!"
Keep 'em coming, so to speak. ;)
(0)Well, thanks all... and perdix, it's honestly not coming from a place of defensiveness. I really AM getting bored by the middle school humor that is taking over. I'd like to see some of the old playfulness, not the kind of jerk crap found everwhere. :[ If it stays like this much longer, then.. :o
(0)Mercy, a rear guard action needs to be fought here, (Perdix, please feel free to make a rear guard joke of some kind), I don't believe even Brave Sir Robin would run from that challenge! I'm a Brit, so I'll have to go with what I know: We shall fight them on the web, we shall fight them in the chatrooms, we shall fight them in the forums, we shall never surrender. I can't believe I just typed all that bollocks. I'm gonna run now...*legs it*
(0)Mercy, they just don't get it because the comments make them think, and let's face it, how many people on here seem like they want to think? lol
(+1)Mercy: YDI for being a whore!
Sorry, perdix, but it was either that or, "So, did you...did you do him?"
#109 - On 02/04/2010 at 5:41pm by alexisthename
(+1)No apologies necessary, Alex or Alexis (I can't figure out if you are Alexis The Name, Alex Is The Name, A Lex Is The Name, or Alexi St. Hename).
If you told Mercy to make you a sammich, I would have been pissed off!
(0)Mercy, love. You are funny. I look forward to your comments, even if I myself do not that much anymore. People are buttmunches, and you know that. Please stay. ):
#155 - On 02/04/2010 at 8:57pm by redbluegreen
(+1)Well, I do appreciate the kind words from everyone, but considering the source of the original comment; I am not bothered. However *snuggles* for all the ♥
The irony is that my recent comments have been a last attempt to get some thinking but I suppose I shouldn't be shocked that n00bz didn't recognize the subtle minims of meme. n00bz should really STFU and acquaint self w/some of the semitone quirks of webz before posting 100x on one thread -.-
gah, muthafuckas. gah: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/technologically-impaired-duck
(0)most shredders are safety proofed so that only paper, cards and the like can fit, not fingers. And he can not conceivably watch his child every minute of every day. Same goes for the money.
(0)No, it's not. Defacing or destroying US currency is illegal only when done with the intent to deceive. In other words, destroying a one dollar bill to make it look like a 10 is illegal. Shredding a 10 is not.
(0)Send in the shreds to the dept of the treasury. Look up the dept of the treasury online on how to submit a claim. Recovery might be possible.
#23 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:20pm by BigMeanieHead
(+2)How did the kid get a hold of $500? And why did a 4 year old have access to a shredder? That's asking for trouble.
(+1)Why the hell did your 4 year old have access to not only $500, but a shredder! You should feel lucky he didn't shred his hands!
(-1)if you can fit your fingers into a shredder, you have sone serious issues XD
#131 - On 02/04/2010 at 7:02pm by dota_pwnage
(+1)@131, and anyone else who's saying you can't fit your fingers into a shredder.
The kid was four. 4 year old fingers are much more slender than 20+ year old fingers. They actually fit in a reasonably large number of shredders.
In general, safety features always make certain assumptions. In this case, assuming the shredder operator has fingers at least 5mm in diameter is reasonable, so you might build it with a 5mm gap. But the 4 year old, not expected to be using the shredder, might not have fingers that large yet. And even if a 4 year old has sufficiently large hands, does a 2 year old?
(+1)Why the fuck did you have 500$ laying around a shredder and a 4 yr old? YDI for being retarded
#36 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:34pm by Fingers0689
(0)you can take the money to any bank and they will just need to peice it back together to prove you have more than %51 of any bill and you get a new bill back.... may take some time but your not out the money.
(+1)YDI for leaving money and a shredder within reach of a kid. TOOL.
#41 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:39pm by judetheobvious
(+1)YDI for letting money roam freely around like that, I make sure that I always know where my money is. Money is so unpredictable lose sight of it for like 2 minutes and it's gone! Oh yeah and next time chain your kid somewhere, might help.
(+1)You took the words right out of my mouth. He definitely deserved it.
#51 - On 02/04/2010 at 2:52pm by israelnotjacob
(+1)If this is real, FYL indeed. Anyone so stupid as to leave $500 laying around accessible, and have it be possible for a 4 year old to run a shredder is a terrible parent. YDI, do your child a favor and off yourself before he/she has a chance to seriously maim himself
(0)Sounds like the OP is slanging cola or chronic if they have that much cash on hand. I'd say it's time to get a new accountant. That's just too much pressure to put on a 4 year old. Maybe you have an older child that could handle finances while you are blazing up?
(0)how did your son get in touch with $500 anyway? watch your child!
#62 - On 02/04/2010 at 3:03pm by thaprodigy_07
(+1)I know people that refuse to use banks and only keep cash on them. They are the minority, sure, but they are around.
(0)you can tape them all together if you can match all the shreds to the correct bill and then take them to a bank
#68 - On 02/04/2010 at 3:28pm by jblast3000
(+1)That really sucks, but those kinds of money should really be in those "hard-to-reach" places though.
Still, sorry to hear 'bout that...
#70 - On 02/04/2010 at 3:29pm by Ihascheezburger
(+1)Your life must not be that F-ed if you have that kind of money. I don't know anyone who carries that much in cash.
(0)bring all the shredding's to the bank they should replace it as long as all of it is there for the most part
(+1)people keep saying that you can't watch kids all the time.. while that is true, parents should at least be able to hear their child...and in this case, a shredder (which MOST are very noisy!)..... please don't have any more children, you're obviously too retarded to raise any.
AND.... the kid was probably acting out in an effort to get some attention from you (while you're probably on here reading fmls)....i can picture it now...it finds a stack of 20s and shreds them waiting for you to hear the shredder and come yell so that it can get some attention.... kids want any attention: bad attention is better than none....
i'm glad this happened to you.. ydi.
(-1)hahaha ur child pimped you. robbed a hoe and ripped up her dinero bwhahahhahaha that sux tho umm no i lie bwhahahahahahaha
#86 - On 02/04/2010 at 4:00pm by oopsohwell
(+1)The US Mint will replace the money if they can accumulate over 50% of it. You might want to try organizing it yourself before you send it to them, but I believe they do it for free.
#88 - On 02/04/2010 at 4:07pm by rockstatic
(+1)This. It's a hassle for you, but it's better than losing $500.
#156 - On 02/04/2010 at 8:59pm by Callyn
(0)Out of curiosity, if I had a bunch of 100 dollar bills and cleverly cut pieces of them out to make a new 100 dollar bill, could I exchange that in for a new 100 bill?
Not that I'd do that or anything..
(+1)How did a 4 year old reach both $500 and a shredder? $500 isn't something you usually leave lying around on the floor, and my shredder is on top of a filing cabinet.
(-1)I have to agree with idkweird in saying that it is pretty close to impossible to keep an eye on a four year old every second of the day. BUT in saying that, I believe that it is possible to make sure your house is as safe as possible for your child should you need to take your eyes off of them.
IMHO, having a shredder where a four year old can reach it, is just not smart. Yes, the majority of them are safety proofed now so that it's extremely hard to get hurt, but you just never know. It's not that hard to unplug it and set it up on a high shelf or keep it in a locked office.
Also, five hundred dollars in reach of any child is just absurd.
But I'm not going to say that OP fails at parenting because everyone makes mistakes.
(0)YDI who really has that much money laying around slap
#97 - On 02/04/2010 at 4:40pm by fylseriously
(+1)You would destroy your kid doing something it would have been your job to prevent? Fuck your future kids life!
(0)You can still replace the money if it's still recognizable and if you have 100% of each bill he shredded. Life's good again.
#101 - On 02/04/2010 at 5:01pm by Mr_Kennedy
(+1)I moderated this one and clicked no because it seemed so unlikely... I guess someone else thought it was totally normal to have $500 sitting out on the coffee table. If this is indeed true, then you completely deserve it. I understand kids will be kids and all, but shredders are not exactly quiet. Why didn't you go see what your child was doing? And why didn't you keep that money in your wallet in the first place?
#112 - On 02/04/2010 at 5:54pm by morella_xx
(0)YDI for leaving a shredder and over $500 within reach of a 4 year old.
#113 - On 02/04/2010 at 6:00pm by RuralNinja
(-1)when did the entire internet get a complete sense of humour bypass?
correct me if i'm wrong, but this is supposed to be a comedy website, right? so why whenever i read the fucking comments on this site are people giving life advice and bloody reprimands over the stupidest little things, and being complete grammar nazis, when they are merely supposed to make you laugh?
/rant
(0)you can send it to the us treasury and they send u a check. I know from experience
#116 - On 02/04/2010 at 6:12pm by kelleyb323
(0)if u get all the serial number off of them u can still get u'r money back. someone I met had a fire and the money still had to serial numbers on it and he got all his money back!!
#117 - On 02/04/2010 at 6:16pm by kristidgranger
(+1)YDI
You left a four year old unsupervised with a) a large amount of cash; and b) a shredder. Either of these alone would be bad. But both together? You got what you deserved. Parenting Fail. Next time don't neglect your child.
#119 - On 02/04/2010 at 6:29pm by nonnymouse
(0)if you kept the shredded pieces and take them to your nearest Federal Reserve Bank you can almost certainly get the moneey replaced, I had a Doberman who shredded and ate over 800 dollars and I got most of it back by collecting poop and taking the pieces to the fed.
(-1)stick his face in there, worthless stupid piece of shit.
YDI for being a stupid baby maker.
#121 - On 02/04/2010 at 6:36pm by mercedeslove
(0)If I were you, #121, I'd kill myself. The OP has a child, so they deserve having their money shredded?
You're an ass hole who deserves to die any extremely slow and painful death. I pray I can watch, too, just to say 'Pass the Pop-corn, please.'
#285 - On 03/15/2010 at 2:18am by DizzyLizzy202
(0)U shouldn't have that much money out n tha open anyway... Definitely FYL 4 that one!!!!
#122 - On 02/04/2010 at 6:38pm by ZiggyDiggy
(0)this is why you keep shredders and large amounts of money away from small children.
#125 - On 02/04/2010 at 6:53pm by 2kewl4u4eva
(0)ydi for leaving out that much money and a shredder in the reach of a child.
#126 - On 02/04/2010 at 6:56pm by kamkak
(+1)YDI for leaving out that much money. I mean, who has 500 dollars to just leave sitting out, especially in front of small kids. DUMBASS!!!
#128 - On 02/04/2010 at 6:59pm by miz_kitty89
(-1)I usually have way more than that sitting around on payday because my bank situation is effed up XD I hate province specific banks, because if you move to another province you can't deposit, only cash...
#135 - On 02/04/2010 at 7:08pm by dota_pwnage
(+1)why you spent time typing this on fml and not beating your child senseless is beyond me.
#134 - On 02/04/2010 at 7:08pm by emptyLucktank
(+1)Just think, when he's older you can tell him: "Remember son, those 500 dollars came right out of your college funds."
#137 - On 02/04/2010 at 7:15pm by zeon_x
(0)you're retarded...little kids shouldn't be near $500...why would you keep that much money lying around ur house.. I'm surprised u haven't been robbed yet
#138 - On 02/04/2010 at 7:24pm by funnydude412
(0)the rule is if you have a piece of a bill larger than 50%, they will replace it. they will NOT try to make complete bills with matching serial numbers. let alone if it was a cross cut shredder. save it for new years.
(0)Aw, it's better then a teenager blasting hippy'd hoppy'd around the house.
#147 - On 02/04/2010 at 8:00pm by GreenTroll
(0)Why was your 4 yr old able to get to your shredder? You're just damn lucky he didn't put in fingers in the blades.
(+1)Since you quote dollars, I'm going to guess that you're American. If you've saved the money, you can get it replaced.
#150 - On 02/04/2010 at 8:29pm by glock17wielder
(0)well what kind of mom are you to keep over $500 in a four year old's reach??????
#151 - On 02/04/2010 at 8:30pm by foodlover123
(0)Do the safe haven laws in your state apply to 4-year-olds? If not, get a large basket and take him to the nearest convent.
#159 - On 02/04/2010 at 9:35pm by ArcherGirl82
(0)WTF!? what a waste of $500 ;( YDI for letting a child take hold of that money tho
#161 - On 02/04/2010 at 9:38pm by xlovelessx
(+1)Oh my god, I am so sick of every kid related FML people screaming 'omg u should have watched ur kid, YDI for leaving [object in question] in his/her reach'
God, you can't watch a kid 24/7, people do have to take care of the house and go to the bathroom once in a while. And she may not have left the money in easy reach, toddlers are always rummaging through everything, he could have looked through her purse. As far as the shredder, that could have been out of reach too, every heard of chairs? Toddlers are brats, whether anyone wants to believe theyre innocent little angels sent from heaven or not.
#165 - On 02/04/2010 at 10:00pm by Sprinter136
(+1)No, sprinter, you cant watch a child literally all of the time. But intelligent people generally dont think to themselves "ok, gotta put stuff out of my toddlers reach. Gun - check. Drain cleaner - check. All of the money from my bank account - naaah that'll be alright. "
#252 - On 02/08/2010 at 8:53pm by EddieBlake
(0)put his hand in the shredder ... lesson learned
#168 - On 02/04/2010 at 10:13pm by anal_puke_664
(0)You can take the pieces to the bank, if you have 3/4ths of a bill the bank will give you a new bill (free). You should be able to get some of your money left. On another note, there are banks, store your money there, not in your child's reach!
#170 - On 02/04/2010 at 10:23pm by asimmons7816
(+1)Take it to the bank. If you can prove that you have 51% of each bill you can get it exchanged for new bills.
#172 - On 02/04/2010 at 10:23pm by PostalPenguin
(0)My question is why did your 4 year old have access to more than 500 dollars, a paper shredder, and enough time to shred it all? You deserve it for not watching him.
#174 - On 02/04/2010 at 10:44pm by SarahAnne_2009
(0)I bet he won't think it's funny when Santa skips his house this year.
#177 - On 02/04/2010 at 11:09pm by stormin972
(+2)YDI X one thousand, for:
-Leaving money in a 4-year-old's reach.
-Not watching your kid for such an amount of time that he could actually do that successfully.
-Leaving your child around a SHREDDER that was RUNNING.
-Actually feeling so little shock/shame/fear/regret/responsibility that you'd actually post an FML about it.
Here's a tip:
It's helpful to keep children under the age of 6 away from sharp objects; particularly those that are motorized. You also may want to consider keeping them within eyesight until they can reasonably be trusted to not accidentally shred large sums of money or, IDK, poison themselves or catch fire. Massive fail, by the way.
(0)Allow me to note that it is possible to redeem mutilated money.
As for shredded....Well, take a chance and see.
#180 - On 02/04/2010 at 11:25pm by Penetration
(0)how and h the hell did u kid get that he is ociously not a kid... lol jk.. but really how
#183 - On 02/04/2010 at 11:45pm by my_life_rocks123
(0)"but really...What?" should have been the final words of that comment. So I'll ask it...What did you say/mean/gibber?
(0)depending on how finely shreded you can just take it to the bank and get it exchanged... not a big deal at all.
#184 - On 02/04/2010 at 11:48pm by pluralbusted
(0)Dear snickersoodle,
I hate you. Why the fuck do you think it is ok for you to do what you do? Just stop.
Sincerely,
BlackMessiah
#185 - On 02/04/2010 at 11:48pm by blackmessiah
(+1)YDI for 1. Having $500 where your kid could get it, and 2. Having a shredder where you kid could get at it.
Get the pieces out of the bin, and stick them back together with tape, then take them to the bank. They MIGHT give you new notes.
(-1)I like how the OP is getting bashed for his parenting by people with no children
#189 - On 02/05/2010 at 12:15am by augepauge09
(0)YDI
Don't put 500 dollars and a shredder where a 4 year old could get to it......
#191 - On 02/05/2010 at 12:25am by robotInDisguise
(0)I call shinanigans. Bull shit if you prefer. No one in thier right ming would have $500 accesable to a child. Then again you probly arnt i your right mind.
#192 - On 02/05/2010 at 12:32am by finalfantasy7
(+1)I rarely click on a YDI on an FML post but i guess this is one of those cases. You have to blame the waste of the $500 on your own stupidity, for leaving the money easily accessible to the child.
See if you can tape up the money and see if you could get the bank, or atm machine or store clerk to accept it.
Next time, child proof anything laying around.
(-1)Please put your reproductive organs in a shredder. Then maybe you'll grow a sense of priority. Child > $500. You're not better than OP.
#206 - On 02/05/2010 at 3:45am by DeservedIt
(0)Time to start to take care of your son. DO YOU REALIZE HE COULD HAD STUCK HIS FINGERS IN THAT SHREDDER?? Not that I care about your child, but I don't want my tax money paying for his medical bill and for accommodating him all his life because of the fact he has only one hand left.
#205 - On 02/05/2010 at 3:43am by DeservedIt
(-1)I had something similar happen once, back when my kid was about 5. She pulled my pants down off the chair they were hanging on, took out all the cash and had a grand time feeding almost all $600 of it into the slit on the heater vent in our bedroom. My wife and I were lying there in bed reading and she seemed like she was just sitting in the corner quietly playing. Granted, the cash wasn't permanently lost, but it could have very easily been if we hadn't noticed her when she was down to the last couple of bills.
As for who keeps $500 around, they're called adults who make more than minimum wage. I start feeling weird if I don't have at least a couple hundred in cash on me and I live off my debit card. Never know when you might end up needing a tow from someone that doesn't take insurance or plastic (it's happened before!) or end up in a place that is having card machine issues, or a bar, or any of a dozen other odd little reasons.
(0)You've nobody to blame but yourself.Next time don't leave your child unattended and leave $500 lying around
(+1)1) why did your kid have acces to the shredder?
2) why was the shredder plugged in/turned on?
3) why did you have $500 in easy reach of kid?
you totally derserved it.
(-1)Simple. Many normal people keep cash in the house. These people also often keep little humans in the house (a.k.a children) Therefore when cash and children are in the same house, they are near each other.
Or many OP just taped the cash to the back of the kids head and said "if you can find it you can shred it!!"
(+1)you TOTALLY deserve it for leaving a 4 years old with access to 500 bucks in any form.
#223 - On 02/05/2010 at 11:46am by snoopcatt12
(0)First off, shredders have really small openings, to prevent children from being able to insert fingers.
Second off, its not that hard to have 500 dollars somewhere in a house.
To all you people that think this is a fake, your most likely too poor and financially unwise to be able to ever have 500 dollars cash somewhere in the house, and don't even own a shredder.
Its not the OPs fault everyone is so fricken stupid with using plastic and runs up large debts.
OP, i feel for you!
(+1)It's quite possible to be poor and not in debt. It's also quite possible to be poor, and have a shredder. You yourself pointed out people buying things beyond what they can afford.
More importantly, not everyone who is poor, is unwise with their money. Currently, the job market is pretty damn tight. Finding a decently paying job is unbelievably difficult. Low-paying job=not much money, regardless of how careful you are. You've got to pay your rent, and buy food. If you've got nothing, or very little, left over after that, that sucks, but doesn't mean you're irresponsible with your money. (Unless of course you have ridiculously priced housing when there are cheaper places available, or you buy ridiculous food instead of practical things.)
#226 - On 02/05/2010 at 12:22pm by boatkicker
(+1)(3) Why would you leave a shredder within accessible range of a toddler?
(2) Why would you leave any money — much less that much — within reach of a toddler?
(1) How can a toddler understand how to turn on and operate a shredder in the first place?
Either that kid is extraordinarily clever for his age, or this story absolutely screams YDI.
#225 - On 02/05/2010 at 12:18pm by blastvortex
(-1)ANSWERS:
3) Anything is in reach of a toddler. Even things that are on the top shelf in a locked room. Don't ask me how, because i have no idea, but I have seen kids do stuff like this in the short time that it takes for their parent or babysitter (me) to go use the bathroom.
2) It was probably in OPs purse or wallet. They probably left it on a table someone. As already mentioned, anything is in reach of a child anyways.
1) A four year old does not have to be extraordinarily clever to operate a shredder. They're just as simple as a VCR, and when I was little I used to put movies in for myself when I woke up before my parents did.
#227 - On 02/05/2010 at 12:28pm by boatkicker
(-1)Alternative answer to 1)
Watch and learn. It's how children (or anyone for that matter) learns.
blastvortex how did you learn to use a computer? You didn't wake up one morning completely oblivious to what a computer was and blind not having seen anyone in the world use one and start using it. You were either taught or you saw others using and taught yourself.
(0)dude so what, you can send the money to the bank and you get new money. its a special sevice in amerika, no matter how damaged your money is you will get new money
#234 - On 02/05/2010 at 7:13pm by darkblade666
(+1)YDI for leaving THAT much cash laying around AND having a paper shredder plugged in around a curious kid. It's not that one or the other is necessarily so stupid, but c'mon.
I do hope for your sake that your paper shredder isn't a cross-cutter. If it's just strips you can probably, as some people have said, tape 'em together and exchange them at the bank. But a lot of shredders are made to cut into itty-bitty pieces.
(0)Way to not pay attention to your kid while he is near a shredder and money...you Fail at being a parent.
#240 - On 02/06/2010 at 11:53am by Comentator
(+1)OK, I'll just set this shredder out in the open and easily available for a child to reach. Next i'll set out $500. I don't know why I carry around $500 in cash anyways or why it's anywhere near a shredder, but whatever. Oh look, here comes my 4 year old, better leave him unsupervised.
#245 - On 02/07/2010 at 12:28am by tacoman007
(0)I woulda beat his ass. ppl don't hit their children enuff
#247 - On 02/07/2010 at 8:34pm by pandabear90
(0)...and he got the money where? and you hadn't locked the shredder away? and I hope someone knows you and reports you to child services...
(+1)I totally back up Snickerdoodles. It isn't that hard to make yourself not look like a dumbass by using correct grammar and spelling.
#251 - On 02/08/2010 at 8:49pm by EddieBlake
(0)Good news: You can tape the pieces back together. As long as you have more than 50% of the bill, it's still usable.
#255 - On 02/09/2010 at 8:17pm by statechamp112
(-2)unfit parent... watch ur kid better. u r lucky it wasn't a $500 doctor bill and ur kid living the rest of his life with nubs!
(0)nice illustration. The kid slightly makes me wanna punch him :P
#267 - On 03/13/2010 at 6:55am by applesmoothiee
(0)yea..it does..the money is the shreddings in the tank..
#272 - On 03/13/2010 at 2:31pm by alexander_ali
(+1)Okay...
1) Leave over $500 where a child can get it?
2) Leave a shredder on, and accessible to a 4 year old
3) Wouldn't the shredder going ring a few alarm bells in your head when you hear it?
(0)1. Little kids can be crafty little turds [see comment #309.] The money could have been in a wallet in a purse.
2. Shredders can go on floors. My parents have one and it's the size of a regular trash can. Besides, shredders these days are finger-safe. It's not like they expected the kid to shred anything they could get their hands on.
3. What if it was a quiet shredder and/or they were on the phone? Or the bathroom? Not all shredders are as loud as a stampede, you know.
(-1)How come there was 500$ AND a shredder within reach of a 4 years old? Who's watching your kid now? D:
#278 - On 03/13/2010 at 10:48pm by LaGriffonne
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Way to overreact to a fake.
Keep up the good work, people. Y'allDI. FYL.
#280 - On 03/14/2010 at 4:07am by clusterfungus
(+2)I wouldve Orton kicked that kid so hard. That drawing makes me want to stab a monkey.
#283 - On 03/14/2010 at 2:58pm by cannibalcorpseXD
(+1)To all the idiots saying "oooh why is a shredder so accessible to a 4 year old" get a life you bunch of overprotective dumbshits. You're the reason why kids these days are such pussies! It's the same as parents that watch their kids play soccer and as soon as they fall over they rush over in a panic with a first aid kit and then buy the little turd an ice-cream after the game.
If I was this little guy's father, I would have at least 4 or 5 shredders throughout the house just so he could learn the potential dangers of sticking ones fingers where they shouldn't go. Firm but fair!
#288 - On 03/16/2010 at 10:41pm by eviltomtom
(0)I lost my first tooth when I was 4 as well. Maybe you should know it for a fact, 290, before spouting it out.
#292 - On 03/17/2010 at 2:39pm by DizzyLizzy202
(0)Yeah, 288 is right, if your kid is dumb enough to stick their hand in a paper shredder or if you don't teach them what it is, YDI. But sorry it happened :s I think if you tape them back together you can take it to the bank and they will replace them.
#293 - On 03/17/2010 at 8:34pm by Flymeister
(0)Yeah, 288 is right, if your kid is dumb enough to stick their hand in a paper shredder or if you don't teach them what it is, YDI. But sorry it happened :s I think if you tape them back together you can take it to the bank and they will replace them.
#294 - On 03/17/2010 at 8:34pm by Flymeister
(0)Why would you leave $500 OR a shredder where your four-year-old could get his hands on them, much less both?
#295 - On 03/18/2010 at 2:10am by Edenbeam
(0)I hope you at least had it replaced. The US Treasury does that if 50% or more of the bills can be identified as US Currency. They take moldy money and give people their money back...
http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/consumerawareness/a/replacemoney.htm
#302 - On 03/24/2010 at 5:11am by tigerpeach05
(0)Where was the $500 and where was the shredder? A shredder shouldn't be easily accessible for a child. Be happy you were only careless enough to leave $500 somewhere that your four year old could get it and that they didnt stick their hand in the shredder too.
(0)You know, a four year old will find something to stick in there. It doesn't matter how "trained" that child is, they'll get a hold of something you never in a million years thought they would.
#308 - On 04/01/2010 at 10:37am by BusyExploding
(0)I'm still trying to find a logical explanation for all of the YDI comments. Obviously, Maxwell didn't have a stack of $500 lying around. Kids will get a hold of anything they want. I used to babysit a three-year-old who could find chocolate no matter where you hid it, even when he had a cold and had no sense of smell. They're also implying that Maxwell should have known this was coming. No one on this forum can honestly say they can predict the actions of a four-year-old throughout the day.
(0)I agree that these things should not be easily accessible to a child. But kids that age can get into anything in seconds. My grandmothers tells us about a time when she got my mother (about 3 at the time) dressed for a party, then put her in her room and went to the bathroom. In the moments she was gone my mother went down stairs and emptied every bottle and jar she could reach from the fridge all over her frilly little dress because she didn't want to wear it.
(0)You know, if you still have the shredded money, you can send it in the treasury. For every bill that they can find at least 50% of the pieces, they'll replace the bill. So if you kept all the shredded pieces, you get it all replaced for about $3 in shipping.
#313 - On 04/14/2010 at 10:12am by ligerzero459
(0)Why does everyone have to be so judgmental and negative? People need to stop saying that it was 'terrible parenting', or they were 'unfit parents'? Gosh, get a life and accept the fact that no one's perfect. Like its been said numerous times, its hard to watch a child every second of the day. Quit criticizing other people for their mistakes or mishaps and move on. You people need to mature. And the funny thing is, most of you criticizing her are teenagers like me. How much do you really know about watching a child? Granted, probably about half of you have little rug rats in your family tree, but how much do you know about raising your own child? Lay off and get a life, please. The OP was simply sharing her story with the world - for YOUR entertainment. Thank the lady and move on.
#315 - On 04/18/2010 at 7:32pm by plaid_2012
(0)One more thing: is all the swearing REALLY necessary?
#316 - On 04/18/2010 at 7:34pm by plaid_2012
(0)Man, reading FML makes me wish I was more reckless when I was a kid. I was waaaay too careful when I was young. The things kids get away with...Too late now :P
(0)Honestly, you guys are getting worked up over nothing.
The kid did what he did, it was funny. Sure, a bit stupid of the parents but hey, it's not like something even remotely close to this has happen to you.
Things can happen in a matter of second.
Just relax. I thought this was pretty hilarious since my son last week threw away money from my purse thinking it was trash
(0)if you still have the shredded cash you can take it into the bank to be replaced, may have to be a federal bank instead of a commercial bank.
(0)Maybe you should watch your child and not have $500 and a paper shredder in reach of your 4 year old. Dumbass.
#326 - On 07/20/2010 at 7:35pm by Pixiex420xstix
(+1)consider this 500$ a fee for telling you something very very important... CHILDPROOF your house!
Do that NOW, before he loses a hand, an eye, or his very life.
(0)illegal and wrong if u wanna waste 500 give it to me
#328 - On 08/28/2010 at 2:32am by Brendan3693
