Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29757) - you totally deserved it (3464)
On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
... I now wish I had venomous gaurd snakes. That would be awesome.
#48 - On 10/20/2009 at 3:26pm by Sun_Kissed18
Of course he didn't hear it. When people go #2 they grunt and make lots of noises.
#6 - On 10/20/2009 at 10:09am by SueSylvester_fan
It must have been a big one; drowned out by the grunting and screaming for divine intervention.
edit: d'oh #6 :]
Hear it?! I don't know about you, but when I crap, I crap LOUD. He was probably gruntin' so hard he wouldn't have heard sirens outside.
"I don't know about you, but when I crap, I crap LOUD."
Yup, the whole internet wanted to hear that.
At least they didn't get your Laptop. Good turn, to take it with you while dumping.
#10 - On 10/20/2009 at 10:23am by Gen_Knowledge
sorry. My friends place was robbed while they were home too. the burglar cut a hole in the glass james bond style, no noise, nothing. Stole his moms jewerly, digital camera, 2 laptops. Burglar emptied my friends school gym bag an stuffed the loot in there.
Shit happens. And some burglars are very sneaky that you may not even be aware it is happening.
Wow. First time I hear of something like that happening.
#14 - On 10/20/2009 at 10:37am by dudette_yikes
Eat more veggies so you can drop a deuce faster next time
#15 - On 10/20/2009 at 10:39am by donkey_hang_down
The joke is on the thieves. While they were stealing the worthless crap, you were sitting on pure gold!
At least you protected the toilet from getting pinched. You DO have a pot to piss in.
While the OP was taking a crap, the burglar was taking his crap.
Oh, the irony.
#27 - On 10/20/2009 at 11:35am by Witchcraft
What were you doing, shitting bricks? Or do you just have a loud exhaust fan? If neither, how the hell did you not hear your flat getting robbed? And if you did, why did you not just pull up your pants as quickly as you could and run out to twonk the buggers? At the very least, it's probably cheaper to replace a soiled pair of pants than whatever they could possibly nab.
#17 - On 10/20/2009 at 10:46am by blastvortex
That's what you get for eating meat. If you were a veg*n, you'd be done in less than four minutes, RAWWWRRR~
this has to be the only real fml in a really long time that is awsome but sucks for you but made my day
Well that's pretty crappy.
But meh, shit happens.
See what I did there? ;p
#22 - On 10/20/2009 at 11:20am by DynamicDave
you made a crappy pun for a shitty fml...
That's an "original" thought we should just flush down the drain
-.- see what I did there...
ass
#51 - On 10/20/2009 at 4:19pm by Starsmydog
As long as they didn't take the toilet paper, then this doesn't constitute a crappy situation.
(doesn't hear atomic bombs falling; hears a random man coughing in the cubicle down the hall)
Well, I was having a good day...
Edit - (sees #22 and waves fist in anger)
#25 - On 10/20/2009 at 11:27am by Brave_Sir_Robin
Since you were probably home alone, you should of done your business with the door open.
Then you could of just ran down there and beat the crap out of them.
This is what happens when you're off guard. Always have a spotter around when you're taking a dump for increased safety.
ROFL couldn't you have like possibly heard something? .....anyway don't you have any door alarms? i mean how did the burglars get in and managed to robb you when you were IN the house? LOL you must of took an extremely long dump...
#63 - On 10/20/2009 at 10:25pm by madaddicted
So you were taking a shit while they were taking your shit.
#64 - On 10/20/2009 at 10:30pm by blah123blah
this happened to my friend but she was upstairs talking to her cats! the robber would have heard it all. she wasn't fussed about the things stolen, she was just embarrassed that they would have heard her!!
#67 - On 10/20/2009 at 11:54pm by soundslikeme123
Its probably lucky that you were in a locked room though, as crappy (no pun intended =P) as that is, just in case they were armed - you may have been hurt if theyd seen you.
Today, I was robbing a house, and the owner had no good stuff downstairs. Then, I didn't rob any expensive stuff from upstairs since it smelt like SHIT. FML.
#75 - On 10/21/2009 at 3:58am by ActionManly
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA this is my FAVORITE FML i've ever SEEN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FYL DUDE OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This is hilarious. I was reading one boring FML after another when this golden poo came up on the list..
#78 - On 10/21/2009 at 5:32am by riplikethat
Hahahahahahahahahahaha, this just made my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#81 - On 10/21/2009 at 11:52am by YoungTechnique
Wow. You really should lock your doors when you are home alone. Nice job taking the laptop to the bathroom with you though.
YDI for being so dumb and not hearing any thing
and seriosly who takes that long to take a dump
#87 - On 10/28/2009 at 5:31pm by minimedanielle
