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Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (28169) - you totally deserved it (1569)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

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Anonymous's life also sucks

oliviakelly25 also deserved it

Comments

I am not first!

#1 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:49pm by enders98

That is such a touching story *tear rolls down cheek* Bravo, bravo young fellow.

#4 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:50pm by dcait_1196

Exactly. The OP came first.

We'll never win.

#7 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:51pm by redbluegreen

haha...wtf?

#32 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:08pm by godsrightnutsack

I want to know why you looked in the bag.

#45 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:47pm by FarSide

The crap probably came out of the bag.

#48 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:54pm by Pandasaur

o wow! u don't say... of course it came out of the bag!

#61 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:27pm by Ducki3

Someone was asking why OP looked into the bag. I was just saying that since the crap probably came out of the bag, OP didn't need to look in it.

Read before you're randomly rude. Thanks. :]

#69 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:06pm by Pandasaur

what if it was a clear bag?

and leave it to evangelics to go the extra mile and spew actual crap along with the rest of the horseshit they are selling.

#88 - On 10/09/2009 at 12:08am by jackkerouc9

That's Christians for you.

#94 - On 10/09/2009 at 1:34am by Nex_Iuguolo

That's a generalisation, not all Christians are douches. I'm a Christian and know many other Christians, who are not douches. Think before you're religiously intolerant =)

#98 - On 10/09/2009 at 2:25am by emilysanftwsom

the guy above me ,#98, is right. not all Christians are homeless hobos who throw their crap at people's cars.

#108 - On 10/09/2009 at 9:45am by teamhat

yes, but if you're christian its not poop, its concentrated evil

#110 - On 10/09/2009 at 10:28am by SpaztastiC4

And you didn't put it in park, get out of the car, and kick his ass?

#119 - On 10/09/2009 at 4:49pm by Reyo

hahahahaha

#9 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:52pm by fmljw

He's homeless! He has to go somewhere. Not sure why he'd save it, but to each his own, I suppose...

(Aw, sorry, the site's being weird. There was totally a different comment here a second ago. I swear I'm not crazy and irrelevant.)

#12 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:54pm by Pandasaur

damn you, plexi! I was gonna use that! Great minds think alike, blah, blah, blah...

#16 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:56pm by Brave_Sir_Robin

Plexico, you are one witty motherfucker... like always.

#86 - On 10/08/2009 at 11:47pm by ccyto

well said plexico

#92 - On 10/09/2009 at 1:16am by ohmanz

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

hahaha wow. FIRST

#3 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:50pm by Shannonnicole

hahaha wow. FAIL.

#44 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:42pm by _THE_MASTER_

lolllll

#148 - On 02/16/2010 at 11:03pm by kevick93

hey, at least you can wash your car!!!

#5 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:51pm by pinktiger

Yes! With Apocalyptic Turtle Wax.. the Shine of the End Times! Feel the Rapture of Clean :[]

#28 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:03pm by mercyFML

awww man! i wanted to be first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#6 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:51pm by PostBlue

This comment has been moderated.

#8 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:51pm by retardedfaggot

lol how random is that

#10 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:53pm by Lolzarz

Pretty random shit.

#14 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:55pm by redbluegreen

Literally.

#31 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:07pm by LegndNikko

seeeee you should of just hit the hobo :)

#11 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:54pm by lahp

Then you have poo AND hobo guts all over the car.... bad combination... also the bum would probably shit everywhere when you hit him...

#105 - On 10/09/2009 at 4:54am by Zakistan

just lol.

#13 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:55pm by mrdecay

Aaaand that. That there is one of the funniest things I've read all damn day. Thank you.

#15 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:55pm by MoonyIce

what was rev Jesse jackson thinking?!?

#17 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:56pm by lotsologan

This comment has been moderated.

#18 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:56pm by geppy

Caaaarrrrr waaaaaaash

#19 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:57pm by pleasetryagain

i was thinking the exact same thing :P

#71 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:21pm by Anonanimal

Ohh, you know what? I bet when he thought you were going to run him over, he got scared. In his alarm, his threw up his arms and tossed the bag of shit at your windshield. When you ended up stopping in time, he was so happy that he praised the lord!

Or maybe he was glad that he didn't have to carry that bag around anymore.

Either way, mystery solved. :] FY car's life.

#22 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:58pm by Pandasaur

So do I.

#27 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:02pm by TheOthin

omg this honestly made my dayyyyyy. thank youuuuuu!!

#24 - On 10/08/2009 at 7:59pm by xij3ss

At least you weren't riding a motorcycle.

#25 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:00pm by crumsnatcha

Lmao. Nice.
#17 was good too.

#49 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:54pm by Intoxicunt

This goes to show you that you can take away their land, shelter, and civil liberties, but only they can decide when to throw away their dignity, what little remains... heh heh. I said remains as an intended pun...

#26 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:01pm by Brave_Sir_Robin

Wow, you're so clever that you have to point out your own cleverness to be sure that people notice it! Good for you!

#139 - On 10/26/2009 at 9:33pm by iwadasn

LOL! this needs to be in a movie scripts...would be a hilarious scene!

#29 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:04pm by brendiz

Let's hope it wasn't his!

#30 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:07pm by paintballer394

I think it would be more disturbing if it weren't his, actually.

#140 - On 10/26/2009 at 9:36pm by iwadasn

Sounds like you had crappy day :D

#33 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:08pm by FloridaOranges

I guess that's what you'd call a shitty situation! :)

#34 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:09pm by jw90

There are a lot of shitty puns here (pun not intended)

#36 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:27pm by besad

ahhaha lol wtf is wrong with that man lol shitty situation

#37 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:27pm by tina_xox

Well that guy was just bat shit crazy :D

#38 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:29pm by FloridaOranges

Honestly, this would have made my day.

#40 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:35pm by FredoSNR

omg best shit I heard all day

#41 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:36pm by z411811

Bwahaha!

#42 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:41pm by Bloodknight

This needs to be illustrated.

#43 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:41pm by tabernac

Could have just ran the fucker over...

#46 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:54pm by evan9032

HOLY SHIT!

#47 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:54pm by Triumvirate

well at least he didnt ask you for spare change

#50 - On 10/08/2009 at 8:57pm by mr_miyagi

Holy shit! XD

#51 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:02pm by monster_tamer

WTF

#52 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:03pm by anonymous122

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

This comment has been moderated.

#53 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:06pm by alabastor

lmao...This a major WTF moment.

#54 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:06pm by Itasan

Noo, its a "What the shit" moment.

#82 - On 10/08/2009 at 11:02pm by possumisawesome

No shit?

#55 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:07pm by powersmoke

I guess you got shit on for your efforts. LOL

#56 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:08pm by pitbulllove

That's just shitty (pun intended)

#57 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:12pm by yem2004

The homeless entertain themselves in the most amusing ways.

#58 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:13pm by babygraprefruit

Shit happens. *rim-shot*

lmao, insta-favorite, AND I'm lobbying for this one to be illustrated. Man, I'd like to see what your face looked like after he walked away.

#59 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:20pm by CyclonePsycho

did you priase him?

#60 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:21pm by ruben7467

LOL I wonder why he was carrying around a bag of shit.

#62 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:29pm by leisl14

get out of your car and shove that shit so far up his ass he will taste it for a week

#63 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:34pm by tmanapoo

hahahahahahhahaa. i almost died laughing reading your comment

#125 - On 10/09/2009 at 6:29pm by tinkchic4life

Wow that sucks.

#64 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:37pm by tmanapoo

Never trust hobos

#65 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:37pm by sc27

praise the lord

#66 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:41pm by bre_zip_it_up13

Hahaha! Old people are awesome!!! XD

#67 - On 10/08/2009 at 9:44pm by invalid_name94

rawr. that sucks. D:

#68 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:02pm by ishh

that is he funniest thing I have heard in a long time

#70 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:15pm by anonymous122

hobos, you gotta love em

#72 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:21pm by Dubstep

hahahaha, sucks for u, but this funny shit. (no pun intended) and praise the lord'? WTF!? fyl

#73 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:24pm by heaven_help_us17

Shitty day huh?

#74 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:36pm by bskballa92

ydi for not running over that hobo.

#75 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:37pm by laughing_zebra

wut a shitty day. Did the shit hit the fan?

#76 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:40pm by elchapin562

LMAO I KNOW THAT HOBO!!
downtown toronto ahahah

#77 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:40pm by imd1

LMAO sucks for you!!
funny for us though.

and hey, your gonna have a whole new fml when you go to clean your windsheild.

#78 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:41pm by Ladypartslegit

If you had hit him, he wouldn't be praising the lord anymore.

#79 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:42pm by Synnie

The Lord flings shit?

*scurries to go check Bible*

Then that water probably didn't turn into wine...

#80 - On 10/08/2009 at 10:46pm by Mata_Hari

That shit is hilarious

#83 - On 10/08/2009 at 11:19pm by LeStab

I can't believe all this religious shit...

#84 - On 10/08/2009 at 11:21pm by Saccharide

Doesn't exactly sound like a very Christian thing to do!

#85 - On 10/08/2009 at 11:40pm by rothenb

Guess that hobo was a shitty Christian...

#87 - On 10/09/2009 at 12:01am by gothymama

Wow! I like this one. Lol!

#89 - On 10/09/2009 at 12:09am by abercrombie_g

The guy was stoned.

#90 - On 10/09/2009 at 12:14am by Vilen1025

I'm so doing this tomorrow. After my morning dump, I'm going to scoop it into a paper bag, put on my grungiest clothes, step in front of some random motorist, throw the bag at him, scream "praise the Lord", and then just walk away.
Actually, I think we should all do this. I declare Friday, October 9 "Throw Shit for the Lord Day"

#91 - On 10/09/2009 at 12:48am by EMR

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we should!!

#120 - On 10/09/2009 at 5:26pm by NataleeC

You should probably do what he says

#93 - On 10/09/2009 at 1:27am by Gasca

91 = win lmao

#95 - On 10/09/2009 at 1:36am by 17mayhem17

You should have asked him if dropping that load felt like fire and brimstone.

#96 - On 10/09/2009 at 1:50am by Ninjaface

AH, ah, ah ahchoooooooooo!
Sorry, i'm allergic to bullshit

#99 - On 10/09/2009 at 2:38am by Purplehazeglass

Was the pun intended? :]

#145 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:47pm by CyclonePsycho

Hey, he was just trying to share his food. Sure, it might not have been from today, but the thought counts!

#100 - On 10/09/2009 at 2:47am by nokillnobeepbeep

He just avoided getting hit by a car *and* got rid of his smelly bag of shit. I'd be praising God too!

#101 - On 10/09/2009 at 3:27am by yardsgreen

LMFAO so hard right now!

#102 - On 10/09/2009 at 3:43am by bigcrazymike

This, FML people, is the time to add a 'WTF?' button!

#103 - On 10/09/2009 at 4:07am by DynamicDave

Yes.

#104 - On 10/09/2009 at 4:18am by Synnie

Religion, full of shit.

#106 - On 10/09/2009 at 7:57am by teqifsha

Normally I would go into a rant about how the Evangelicals give the rest of us Christians a bad rep... but this is just too funny :D

#107 - On 10/09/2009 at 9:32am by lil_miss_shorty

that shit's nutty

#109 - On 10/09/2009 at 10:22am by mrmidi

well, atleast you could now see how effective your wiper blades are!

#111 - On 10/09/2009 at 10:34am by SpaztastiC4

Should have run him over.

#112 - On 10/09/2009 at 1:39pm by etantao

I said this shit, is bananas B A N A N A S

#113 - On 10/09/2009 at 1:55pm by Raheemdplayer

Well, that stinks (pun intended). It'll probably be worse when you realize where the hobo's bag of shit probably came from. ... *waits for it* Yuck...

[edit] For all the religious or anti-religious people out there, there's nothing to say this was religiously based at all. The fact that the guy yelled, "Praise the Lord!" means nothing. Anybody can say that, and they don't have to believe in something for it to matter. He could've been an atheist for all intents and purposes. Troll fail...

#114 - On 10/09/2009 at 3:41pm by blastvortex

LoooL this is probably the funniest thing I'll read all weekend!

#115 - On 10/09/2009 at 3:42pm by Ross_H

Is there an award for most fucked up FML? You'd probably win it or at least be a nominee.

#116 - On 10/09/2009 at 4:02pm by Mulada

Why does the Lord need praise? Does he have self-esteem issues?

#117 - On 10/09/2009 at 4:11pm by MiniatureMayhem

LOL nice try, but no one took the bait.

#136 - On 10/16/2009 at 6:12pm by dilhole

mnemic, it's because he just finished taking a dump in it.

#118 - On 10/09/2009 at 4:25pm by railfan

Holy Shit!

#121 - On 10/09/2009 at 5:32pm by mrmidi

LOFL!!!!HOLY SHIZ I would have ran his ass over!!! Or be to stunned!!!

#122 - On 10/09/2009 at 5:48pm by Turner81

I don't believe that for a second.

#123 - On 10/09/2009 at 6:02pm by dminorchord

Hahaha! That's the funniest thing!! Ha, just made my day. :)

#124 - On 10/09/2009 at 6:28pm by MissKia

Maybe the shit was holy.

#126 - On 10/09/2009 at 6:33pm by letthemxeatcake

LMAO!!!!!!!!! please admit you pissed yourself laughing afterwards! that would be hilarious!

#127 - On 10/09/2009 at 9:08pm by silly_kate

I admit it

#132 - On 10/10/2009 at 8:57pm by Noamfer

Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lmao

#128 - On 10/10/2009 at 12:08am by k_a_r_a_n

Again. Why is this bad? That is an AWESOME story.

#129 - On 10/10/2009 at 3:53am by cmgio

ROFL gotta love homeless people.

#130 - On 10/10/2009 at 8:18am by leenheartlovex3

that is so awesome!!!!!!!!!!

#131 - On 10/10/2009 at 8:30pm by Rehd

"praise the lord"? sounds so fake. boring story to.

#133 - On 10/11/2009 at 10:28am by punky_fool

Well, at least you know what to do when the shit hits the
...wait nevermind.

#134 - On 10/12/2009 at 6:57am by andyroxs

That is so funny lolyou shoulda rammed him with your car

#135 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:22pm by Sterlobrooother

Very shitty moment. Thank god he didn't throw it through the window.

#137 - On 10/18/2009 at 11:48pm by BravoUser

That hobo is officially declared Mr.McAwesome for his random act of throwing shit at someone's car.

Also TY O.P for sharing this hilarious story :D

#138 - On 10/24/2009 at 1:04am by confizzled

..LOL FYL

#141 - On 10/27/2009 at 5:31am by sillyzombiekid

what's a windscreen? haha

#142 - On 10/29/2009 at 4:00am by Aviva1313

QUICK....SOMEBODY GET THE OP A MOVIE DEAL.....HE CAN WIN 8 OSCARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#143 - On 11/08/2009 at 5:08am by Chefaid87

Haahaha... That made me CHUCKLE!!!
However, I do feel your immense pain, and your probable confusion.

#144 - On 11/21/2009 at 6:35pm by pasta_pot_17

BAHAHAHHA, OWNED!

#146 - On 12/06/2009 at 8:02pm by slick9

Wow not your typical religious type, is he?

#147 - On 01/24/2010 at 8:35pm by Trevv

HA¡ that is crazy enough to be true!!

#149 - On 02/18/2010 at 11:35pm by blueridgemtns97

OH GOD I JUST PEED MY PANTS HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA

#150 - On 02/20/2010 at 6:08pm by emseeaich

LMAO

#151 - On 02/21/2010 at 2:27am by fuckedup5867

LMFAO I LAUGHED SO HARD WHEN I READ THIS

#152 - On 02/27/2010 at 1:55pm by fuckedup5867

OMFG i laughed sooooo hard

#153 - On 03/03/2010 at 1:40am by fuckedup5867

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