Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14688) - you totally deserved it (38907)
On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)
This is pretty good blackmail material. Better be nice to your bro.
#1 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:06am by IreadFMLnaked
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I got one word, and that word is, PUSSY!
#62 - On 08/07/2009 at 10:17am by hibarisanstr
I notice that when someone picks a theme for the week (eg. Scared of the dark) it just seems to show up on every other FML.
dyi, i mean, not to be a troll, but this situation probably never happened when you were midst the shit, unless you were flicking the lights back and fourth. Most lightbulbs completely burn after you turn them on, or after you flick them off. if it is on and has to burn, it would just get darker and darker over time, after about like 10 minutes it would burn. chances are, you would see the drastic change i the lighting, so, yeah
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
YDI... Being scared of the dark, when you're seventeen?? In your own house?!?! NOT EVEN AT NIGHT?! (I suggest the last thing, because his little brother wasn't sleeping)
If I'd be your brother - I would never... O fuck this! I would do the same thing!
P.S. LOL at #23
You people are seriously ignorant and rude. He's lygophobic (fear of BEING in a dark place), doesn't mean he's afraid of night-time. A phobia is an extreme anxiety disorder towards simple or harmless things that cannot be controlled. This is actually very dangerous, and could be fatal if it got out of control. You guys are all assholes. "Ooh, he's afraid of the dark, he's a pussy", wtf? Stop being kids and grow up. So what if he's 17? A disorder is a disorder no matter how old or macho you are. I really sympathize with the OP for being put in a socially threatening position because of having to deal with idiots like most of the people here making a mockery out of him. I'm very sorry OP, I hope you seek help to ease the fear. Though it's a hard process, you can make it if you want to. Take care, and good luck. Please ignore what other people say, I'm sure many guys here are afraid of rats or insects or anything harmless. This is natural and normal, it's abnormal all the judgements you have to deal with, remember that.
#174 - On 08/08/2009 at 2:21pm by Kiwi_Splash
thank you! some one with a brain and heart...look i am scared of dark period. night or lights out. i watched way to many horror movies and i regret its...but for all of you calling him a pussy...i hope God smites you and gives you an anxiety worse than any other...you will be so scared i hope you shit in you pants..in public
#202 - On 08/24/2009 at 11:15pm by m1h1m
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Lol. Pussy.
Better that it comes out this way than you wailing and crying when making out with some chick in the dark.
The public humiliation from that would be far worse.
Yeah I was gonna say it's kinda harsh everyone calling him a pussy, but this is really pathetic. I'm a bit afraid of the dark too, but you don't see me wailing and crying just because I'm in a dark room.
OP, if you're THAT afraid of the dark, you need some kind of therapy or something. If your little brother shows everyone, just tell
#72 - On 08/07/2009 at 10:46am by divineinstrument
Things called phobias.. look 'em up.. irrational fears of harmless things happen. :o No reason to call 'em a pussy.
#99 - On 08/07/2009 at 12:42pm by Whininghippo
If it was a very serious shit, you would have not taken your mind off of such a serious excrement, therefore there would be no crying and no FML, so it obviously wasn't a serious shit, just a normal one.
#6 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:09am by lolzRaptor
wow dude, you must has some mental health issues, a serious phobia of some sort, go get the check out. STILL hellah funny though BHAHAH
-FrayedxD
Ditto those who mentioned a serious phobia. And really, no need to be sexist.
#143 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:26pm by IAmAJellyDonut
And, you being 'captain of the Varsity football team' is relevant, because? God, I hate it when people think they're so great.
#11 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:17am by ForsakenGlory
I doubt he's really trying to improve his image among others he didn't know. Mentioning that he's the captain of the football team is likely to reinforce how much of a blow it is to his image; the captain of the football team would most likely be strong, brave, yadda-e-yadda, and here he is reduced to crying by simple lack of light.
Captain eh? So you're slightly more talented than the rest of your talentless football team then?
#12 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:20am by Tubasaurus
lmao. Reminds me of my high school team. I was captain of my team, but we went 1-26 in my 3 years there XD
Not because of me obviously, I'm perfect, it was all them. :P
#115 - On 08/07/2009 at 1:32pm by genius_man16
you are just jealous as you can't afford a light bulb !! =P
#42 - On 08/07/2009 at 8:27am by Ashleigh_85
I don't get the part about your mom having to pick the lock but people can't help phobias and it must have been serious if you couldn't stop from being subject to all that embarrassment.
#17 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:34am by dirtyhippie
We do not really fear the dark. There is nothing scary about darkness, it is just the absence of light. What really frightens us is the unknown, the things we can't see hiding around us, the things that the lack of light keeps from us. We all experience this fear walking alone on dark streets, creeping around our houses at night, etc. What I don't understand is what there could possibly be to fear between you, your sink, and the toilet. Think of it like this. Of all the worlds murders, real and imagined, I have never one heard of one that occurred mid-excretion.
In simpler words, get over it and use your rational mind.
#20 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:48am by falling_over
"There is nothing to be feared from a body, Harry, any more than there is anything to be feared from the darkness. Lord Voldemort, who of course secretly fears both, disagrees. But once again he reveals his own lack of wisdom. It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."
Well gosh, Mr. Harry Potter, how about you shove your wand up Hermoine's ass?
#67 - On 08/07/2009 at 10:27am by blackdog218
Yes, use your rational mind, because mental health issues and neuroses such as serious phobias are completely subject to the control of rational thought.
Except of course they're not. For example, I have a serious phobia of mannequins. It's a completely irrational fear (which, by definition, is what phobias are), and I know this, but it doesn't stop me from bordering on an anxiety attack when I go into a clothing store.
Mental dysfunction can't be cured by your own mind.
#89 - On 08/07/2009 at 11:53am by WitchCirce
Actualy last time I checked, I controll when I scream and cry because i'm in the dark. It is something that is completely controlable, in case you didn't know, people can overcome fears.
#96 - On 08/07/2009 at 12:34pm by himynameisadam
And in case YOU didn't know (#96), phobias aren't fears. Fears are thing you are afraid of up front, in your first or second layer of your brain, so it isn't too hard to get rid of. A phobia, however, is something deeply wedged in a deep corridor inside you semi-conscious, which controls anything you yourself cannot control. If one was to use the same methods of up front and immediate cures people used for fears and used them for a phobia, you would probably get the person at least unconscious, and then to heart failure and death from the shock.
tl;dr:Fears are easier to get rid of then phobias.
what is a serious shit? I mean, every shit I take is serious.
#26 - On 08/07/2009 at 7:15am by Einstein714
I really don't understand why so many people's immediate reaction to stories like this is to call the person a "pussy". What is the point of throwing petty insults around? Channeling Cartman isn't exactly a great way to gain anyone's respect.
So yeah, the guy overreacted to a phobia that most people wouldn't understand, and he probably ought to do something to get over that fear. Big deal. Are people ever going to reach a point where hostility and contempt aren't dealt quite so freely?
Actually, my comment was more a remark about the general tone of the comments on this site. Whether or not I happen to personally agree or sympathize with somebody, it still irritates me when people respond by launching into character attacks and insults with no thought-out point.
Clearly you've never been on the internets before.
It's a way of life how people respond here, get used to it. It's hilarious
Even if it's completely true and it was indeed recorded, why does the recording still exist? It sounds like there's not nearly enough sibling ass-kicking in your family. Jack him in the face and make it clear that A) he'll be punched every hour on the hour until it's deleted and B) if he tells anyone, he gets a free concussion. Mr. Captain of the Football Douchers should be able to make it happen.
Adapt Maddox's child disciplinary page: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat
PS, what captain of any football team doesn't wield enough influence to shut up a little brother? srsly?
nah, if he tries to beat his little bro up, the kid will just kill the lights. film it again. maybe cut out his nightlight and wake him up when he tries to sleep.
#86 - On 08/07/2009 at 11:39am by generalsmith2
"PS, what captain of any football team doesn't wield enough influence to shut up a little brother? srsly?"
The kind that is so much of a pussy that when the light go out he starts to cry like an infant. I would not only put that video on the internet but I would also rent some time on the local public access tv channel and broadcast it on tv as well.
#133 - On 08/07/2009 at 4:23pm by blueknight1st
You see why FML is so useful? If this guy told anyone he knew or even someone who met him in person about this, he would catch an ass whooping for being a puss. But since we don't know who he is, he can vent to us and look for comfort and pray that someone will comment on this and say "Dude no way! Me too. I feel your pain!" Its a shame that will never happen because this is beyond being a puss... but keep your head up junior. Maybe your balls will drop from your vagina and you will finally be a man. Good luck on your sex change :(
All this translates to... you fail on an epic scale.
Lol serious shit. What would a funny one be like?
Squeaky I presume.
Ew.
#40 - On 08/07/2009 at 8:15am by KellykopterXD
Lol, agreed with #1.... be very very nice to your brother.
#44 - On 08/07/2009 at 8:50am by MissArthur16
Its funny that your brother now has full control / power over you
YDI for being a PUSSSSSYY
#50 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:17am by thebeefzoosher
its okay. sometimes, when i'm in the shower, i'm afraid Chuckie will come and attack me :O
#52 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:35am by jessicaislameee
lmao! i sometimes hav that too xD but this is too funnie xD i love it!
#189 - On 08/09/2009 at 10:26pm by bbyboo_mamaz
OP, I looove your name.
"Scaredshitless".
That almost makes up for you being so nuts.
#53 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:38am by Intoxicunt
who cares if your brother reveals that to the football team, i bet there all pussies just like you
#54 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:41am by sjbartholome
oh he's captain all right ... he's the teams new bitch now
#55 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:43am by sjbartholome
You're 17, and you're scared of the dark?
You'd better be really freaking nice to your brother because that may change his mind on planning to show everyone.
#57 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:55am by kennythedude
You couldn't have gotten up for 2 secs to crack the door open? Moron
#58 - On 08/07/2009 at 10:02am by Chubtubdaplaya
I srsly dont blame you i'm 16 and my Bathrooms cares the SHIT out of me (we have an Old shower room that drips. reminds me of an old horror Movie.
thanks for adding another FML to my favorites man, what a priceless experience: the darkness, the shit, the tears, your mum, the videorecording and the fact that you're 17. Awesome.
lol
#60 - On 08/07/2009 at 10:09am by noelmccartney
FML mods can suck on my cock. There have been a couple of "oh-emm-gee! i am afraid of the dark yet I'm a young adult in my prime that screams like a little girl!" this shit is not creative, funny, or entertaining. do your fucking jobs and pick shit where someone's life is ACTUALLY, IRREPARABLY, fucked over and there is nothing that can be done.
if OP is the captain of the varsity football team then he can just beat the piss out of his little brother and destroy the tape, dvd, memory card, whatever, that contains the footage
or he can man up and stop being a pussy when he takes his shits. his choice.
#64 - On 08/07/2009 at 10:24am by doicha27
Try moderating some, yourself. I do it sometimes if I'm bored enough and I can tell you that a lot of the submitted shit is DISMAL. The mods have to work with what they're given--they can't pull stellar, wonderful FMLs out of their asses. If it ain't there to start with, you do the best with what's there.
#70 All the bro has to do is turn off the lights and make him cry again!
#73 - On 08/07/2009 at 11:00am by Chubtubdaplaya
Wait; So are you saying your brother was in the bathroom with you as this happened, and recorded it? How else would he have recorded all that...
O.o
#74 - On 08/07/2009 at 11:05am by elsieenchanted
man, pulling practical jokes on you would be sooo easy.
you kind of deserve it for being afraid of the dark. you're 17, you should be capable of rational thought by now.
You're captain of the varsity football team, I think you can manage to recover that tape from your younger brother.
Is your bathroom THAT dark that you can't see a thing with the lights off? Anyways get a night light next time or always keep your cellphone in your pocket. :D
#81 - On 08/07/2009 at 11:21am by 2Chances2Fail
Is your bathroom THAT dark that you can't see a thing with the lights off? Anyways get a night light next time or always keep your cellphone in your pocket. :D
#82 - On 08/07/2009 at 11:23am by 2Chances2Fail
why would she need to get u out? That's when u wipe urself 10 good times in the dark, or more, whenever u know u've got it all, and then ur done and can leave the bathroom. You weren't locked in, the light just went out...
#87 - On 08/07/2009 at 11:43am by FlaminYawn
that sucks, and FYL, but ... I don't know. I don't think much could stop me from taking that serious shit. Maybe it's just because I'm not afraid of the dark
I read this and just had this mental image of the OP and his beloved girl friend sitting in his bed room, parents gone for the evening, and his girlfriend just sexily sits up, and right before she takes off her pants, reaches over and flips the light switch off. I've heard that nothing turns women on like complete mental breakdowns over irrational phobias. But really, that sucks...
#93 - On 08/07/2009 at 12:10pm by Sure_Thing
Actually... some women might really get turned on by that. 8D *LOL*
We're not all delicate damsels in need of rescuing. ;)
Hey, it's okay. I have an irrational fear of ants. Almost everyone has weird phobias. Fear of the dark's pretty normal or something, I don't see how this makes him a "pussy." However, I don't think your life is particularly 'fucked', so I'm not voting at all.
Also: For those people who ask how his brother recorded it, please, please, PLEASE use your heads. He was wailing, his mom had to unlock the door. He probably filmed his mom picking the lock to the sound of this guy's crying.
so....you are pretty much the biggest vagina ever, you suck at life, 17 and afraid of the dark? if i knew you i'd beat the hell out of you!
#106 - On 08/07/2009 at 1:09pm by seriouslyFML1
Dude... If it's a phobia, don't worry about it, maybe people will understand... but if not...
Why ARE you afraid of the dark? I guess I will never understand that... I must have been one of the only children to never have needed a night light.
#109 - On 08/07/2009 at 1:14pm by DameGreyWulf
Hey EVERYONE THAT IS CARED OF THE DARK close your eyes, haha it makes me laugh and its so pathetic when I hear or read that someone is scared of the dark.
#116 - On 08/07/2009 at 1:34pm by BrutalMofo
your fucking stupid. I have never lost a fight i can bench the most in my gym calss (165lbs im in gr 9) and i a phobia to the dark. Their is nothing he should be ashamed of, but then there are thoose fucking idiots and says "grow some balls." Like are you fucking stupid? Why don't you go against your biggest fear you little bitch. and BTW ur little brother must be a prick.
Even if you are on the football team, the smart money says that the members of the chess club could kick your ass. You are a massive wimp, well done sir.
Don't worry. I'm completely afraid of the dark too. But I'm a girl, so...it's slightly more normal. :]
#122 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:02pm by manoverboard
I get freaked out by the dark too.
If I happen to be in a well light place and suddenly the lights goes out I'll just put my fist up to give me a bit of rage but damn Mr Ping Ping could probably kick your ass.
PS: your mother is missing a few skirts
#123 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:14pm by flyingpoo
How is being afraid his own fault? Everyone is afraid of something. This is nott a YDI!!
#125 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:37pm by AllyKat0808
Looks like the OP has some deeper rooted issues than just the dark. Do you have a father figure in your life?
#126 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:42pm by davidtheday
That made me lol . but the chances of that really happening , are pretty slim .
#127 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:57pm by FlippyFloppies
wow. you must be homosexual. come out of the closet. you will feel better
#130 - On 08/07/2009 at 3:53pm by alphaxzero
You need to make it clear to him that his life will end if the tape sees light.
#135 - On 08/07/2009 at 4:49pm by rockstarK9
Don't be mean to him guys. Some people have severe phobias of the dark. I have a pretty bad phobia of spiders. I scream like a 4 year old girl when they get too close.
Am i the only one who thinks this could possibly be fake?
#140 - On 08/07/2009 at 5:35pm by KryptoniteKiss
hahah someone is a PUSSY haha grow sum ballz lmfao hahah is ent this to my friend hahah
#153 - On 08/07/2009 at 8:26pm by mizzawesomeness
Well, it's not your fault for having a phobia... you can't control that sort of thing.
Might want to work on controlling a bit the wailing and crying though. XD *lol*
HAHA I BET YOU HAVE A WINNIE THE POOH NIGHT LIGHT.
#161 - On 08/07/2009 at 10:04pm by _electricbonbon
Oo god this is funny omg ahaha FYL sucks for you
scared of dark still really...couldnt do what you needed to do and get out..
omgid why r people being so mean to the ob! i feel bad for him that his brother recorded it and stuff but being scarred of the dark is normal.
#165 - On 08/08/2009 at 12:39am by sockmonkey560
I hope this is fake because otherwise you're a pussy. WTF! Why do people post this crap and expect any sympathy. Man up boy and grow a pair! YDI if your baby-bro does show it to everyone for being such a douche.
How about finish your shit and then go over to the door and open it. Then wash your hands.
#167 - On 08/08/2009 at 2:41am by mehwhateverr
Wow, this site attracts an amazing number of assholes.
Do you all just enjoy insulting others, or does it make you feel better about your own fears?
#168 - On 08/08/2009 at 2:54am by BloodyRainbows
This post is obviously fake... for the very reason that it's impossible that such an unbelievable amount of bitch could possibly be crammed into one person.
#170 - On 08/08/2009 at 5:38am by ZanderMoan
How on Earth does he deserve having a phobia and reacting seriously towards it? Alot of you people are disgusting human-beings with no sense of understanding and respect. I feel revolted and annoyed by the fact that I live in such an ignorant world. Fucking assholes.
#175 - On 08/08/2009 at 2:30pm by Kiwi_Splash
Lol, thanks! I wouldn't say nicest, but I know when to be realistic, mean, sarcastic etc... There are some things that don't really need a little more than just a brain to understand, you know?
#183 - On 08/08/2009 at 8:00pm by Kiwi_Splash
FYL for being terrified of the dark at 17. You really need to work on that.
#179 - On 08/08/2009 at 5:36pm by speedmastaflex
FYL for being afraid of the dark and 17 years old. yeah you might want to check in with someone and get that fixed.
but if the light went out instead of balling your eyes out, why the hell didn't you just yell for help? and does your bathroom not have a window in it? Because if it wasn't even night time chances are the window would provide light for you to see.
#180 - On 08/08/2009 at 6:52pm by ptrox123
People who clicked YDI are assholes. Phobias aren't fun.
#181 - On 08/08/2009 at 7:42pm by capital_seven
Maybe not but he should be old enough for that phobia. I hope closing his eyes is not too scary for him.
hahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha i doubt this is true but i enjoyed it
#182 - On 08/08/2009 at 7:54pm by bigcac
That was kinda on Phil of the Future! Cooool! except you know, the shiting part.
#186 - On 08/09/2009 at 12:01am by omghappy
WOW you are the biggest pussy i have ever heard. you're 17 and you scream in the dark?
#188 - On 08/09/2009 at 7:46am by d3fletch5
Wow I feel sorry for you.. Captain of the football team? I wanna see what kind of punishments your little brother has in store for you.
Fyourlife. People have phobias, it just sucks that 1. it happened while you were taking a dump and 2. your bro needs a punch in the face.
#196 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:03pm by Deathbreak
Are you serious? I mean shit people have phobias but dont you think something so common as dark you may have conquered by the age of 17! Like it gets dark every night, when you turn off the lights, in movie theaters and other places you go for entertainment. How do you live without being in constant fear. You should suck it up and face you fear, shit by the age of 7 most kids arent even afraid of the dark.
#178...i hope you know that emotional./mental fear can cause you to do anything...
#203 - On 08/24/2009 at 11:17pm by m1h1m
