Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
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Top comments
brittbaybiee 0
ewww
alley_cat_118 0
#5: many guys (myself included) dig neck-biting without being vampires. #9: it doesn't take much to pop a pimple if it's already near bursting. Everyone else: you're absolutely right, this is beyond disgusting.
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Comments (1224)
tastylipstick 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That is the nastiest thing I have ever heard. I am so sorry.
Arc9 0
CHRIST THAT IS MESSED UP.
Guuurlplease 0
Kinky vampire fetish
hellokittywhore 0
certainly not the worst thing to have in your mouth, not for me at least. lol ewwwwie
Krown Bidness 11
FYL...lol
floopthepoop 0
-pukes-
Piggilywiggily15 0
Simple Dimple, Pussie Pimple.
z620 0
why do I get this awful feeling twilight has something 2 do w/ this
emmamorc 0
Ewwwwww
Paradotical 0
neck ejaculation FTW!
Bon3less 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP that's what you get you ******* twilight fangirl
druggielove 0
nasty almost 420!
MearaRocks 0
holy christ' EUW
mooshibear140 4
OH FRIG THAT IS DISGUSTING!!! FYL so bad. :'(
xdanifyx 0
yucky! Dx
lili555_fml 0
omg wow good one!!
dandog94 0
hahaha gross
Selsa_Squirrel 0
Actually necking and giving hickeys has been a commonplace couple activity for generations. If you don't know that, you likely have never had a serious boyfriend or girlfriend. And on a side note, I believe Twilight is about some sparkly vampires that 'don't' drink human blood, so it defeats the purpose of your 'taunt'. Nice job.
OopsieDaisies 0
Omg. That is so freakin disgusting!!!!!
Brendan3693 0
excuse me while I barf up my organs.
omfgrofl1337 0
haha everyone who thinks twilights involved has probably never had a hickey
xlostwithoutu 0
That's just disgusting. I was just about to go to the kitchen to get food but I think Im gonna pass.
Insomnitastic 0
BUT...did you swallow?? lol jk I had to say it...
cagj 0
mental image anyone
truthbetoldxoxo 0
OMG!!! I am getting sick just thinking about it!! I am soooo sorry!! FYL!!
allyandcolour03 0
Lmao :P I was juss about to ask that
yummylicious 5
at least it wasn't an arterie
m0rgana 0
mind expanding on that 420 ;)
TaylorGoesRaawr 0
Haha. I Wanna Know That Too.
illestsmiley14st 0
Hahahaha thats a funny question
SimoneDymond 3
lol nice one
Abagtias 0
Eww ewwww ewww ewww!! -gagging-
KingOfOreos 0
only posting here so people can see how does she deserve it really now over 150000 people are retarded she obviously was trying to be kinky
jbabe96 0
*throwing up* wow yeah thats suuuper gross
obamathellama 0
How did it taste?
elliee2llie 0
That's so icky!!
krisymisy 0
OH MY GOD
AvaVolterra 0
I so agree, **Shudders**
freezerbreezer 0
I swear
onlychildFTW 33
Disgusting to say the least.
DRMIKA 4
Sounds like a popping Issue. :D
PinkieKeen 20
oh dear god
PinkieKeen 20
that's what you get for trying to be a vampire, mother trucker.
milkweed24 0
You birthdays two days after mine lol
imagineit 15
Lol too easy
Happy_Tortuga 10
I'm very anxious to hear what you've had squirt in your mouth worst than puss :o
this_guy_here 5
This is so many levels of ****** up
whenitdidhappen 14
@420. and that explains the 11723 views on your profile
basalt 4
that is sooo grosss??
nityasomaiya 46
I've given up trying to understand why people vote YDI on things like this .
nityasomaiya 46
Thanks, needed to know this /s
JT424 5
i laughed way harder at your comment lmfao
brittbaybiee 0
ewww
LOL97_fml 0
yah why wud u bite hisneck?
CanadianHuney 0
wtf were you doing biting his neck???
fuck_this_shit_5 0
wtf do u think? she was trying to get some lol
Jonny_Trump 0
That's what kids do these days. Bite each others necks. back in my day, we kissed/hickied people we liked that way. Kids these days and their "romantic vampires"... stupid oxymorons... >_>
DeLpHe3zY 7
It sounds rather tasty wouldnt you agree? :D
saltan_fml 0
:D agreed
okiidokii_fml 6
I think I'm Gonna be sick!! ???
piff7 14
The whole biting eachothers neck thing isn't vampire related at all. It's actually a major turn on to a lot of guys. Not so sure about girls but from what I understand it is for guys. So no it is not some stupid vampire fantasy based off of twilight. Maybe you should try it some time and find out that it is like getting a hicky...
heliraptor 13
It's hot for girls, too, me anyways. My ex didn't seem to mind either ;P but thank gracious neither of us had exploding neck pimples, either.
ctdawes 3
says the one that looks kinda like a vampire... not so talk shit, but it's kinda funny. and ya, it is normal
ctdawes 3
sorry, that last reply was meant for the jonny trump guy
nityasomaiya 46
And girls.
JustBeatIt 0
Yuck. That sure wasn't a pretty scene after that!
jjennyjunior 0
omg I almost pikes right there that's ****** nasty!!!
iloveeyouuxD 9
I would absolutely die!
m0tl3ycru3 0
Mmm pus
DiscoRanger 0
DA FUQ? #914
DRMIKA 4
Sounds like a popping issue
kenyrabit 25
So... Spit or Swallow?
ozzie2010 0
omg, i just gagged... ugh.
starandheart 0
I retched. I'm sorry, but that is discusting.
boysinabooth 4
I gagged too. And it might not have anything to do with Twilight you idiots. I mean there's a difference though in biting and nibbling a guy's neck. Still grossed out.
Abagtias 0
Same here! That is effin disgusting!
ditto95 0
I would have piked!
nityasomaiya 46
Piked?
Jasper_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ew. just ew. and, what the ****? bit his neck? what are you? a vampire? i hate twilight.
6JackTheRipper9 0
ok 2 things biting peoples neck doesn't mean your a vampire and the ****** twilight books and movies and everyone who likes twilight can get into an oven and burn in hell
Moscow_fml 0
Don't be a Nazi!
daniisme 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
what the **** Moscow. that's not even funny. that's just sad. go die.
JinxSNC 0
you go die! your probably a Nazi too
Selsa_Squirrel 0
Re-posting this reply to your comment to, because it was just as ridiculous and ill-informed as the last. Actually necking and giving hickeys has been a commonplace couple activity for generations. If you don't know that, you likely have never had a serious boyfriend or girlfriend. And on a side note, I believe Twilight is about some sparkly vampires that 'don't' drink human blood, so it defeats the purpose of your 'taunt'. Nice job.
cybercrash 2
shut the fk up idiot. hickey is what she was doing
AmericanGirl69 0
good job #512
deeaim 0
says the guy named "Jasper" from Twilight series.
Vagabond89 0
Lmao
Abagtias 0
And your username is Jasper why??
EspeonEve 1
Biting and kissing on the neck is what boyfriends and girlfriends do. And your mommy and daddy. And, they do even more. to make a baby :) Sorry I had to tell you, apparently I was too impatient, I should have waited until you watched your puberty video.
sydie5 12
you're names Jasper... from twilight.
dyno254 0
U r gay
maniaccrab 0
It's called sadomasochism you asshole
jonisprettycool 5
I like how you said you hate twilight and your name is Jasper. That must suck.
charvisioku 22
You've... never heard of people biting each others' necks? Oh you poor child, get off the internet before something traumatises you. Ask mummy and daddy about it, I'm sure they'll be happy to help. Sheltered much?
AlliFaye17 3
I do that to my boyfriend all the time, the biting the neck, it's just an affection thing
asdghjk 7
I'm assuming you're very young, but a lot of people enjoy getting bitten/biting, not literally biting and drawing blood just nipping and the neck is a very sensitive area
zombienationxo 9
Me and my husband do it all the time, seems like someone's head is so far up their ass that they wouldn't know. You should step away from the computer before you see some pretty messed up things. Perhaps go play with your Polly Pocket dolls.
EclipseCandy6 24
it's ironic you hate twilight and your name is jasper :L
Xacap 3
First I though that she broke his vain tested his blood lol
nityasomaiya 46
So his name can't be Jasper? It's a nice name and not exclusive to twilight.
jtrg 5
I...idk wht to say...getting Ur neck bitten from your girlfriend is awesome I to hate twilight
suyci 0
daahhh gross XD
jklol11 0
that is just nasty. period.
wtfdude12345 17
A full stop, or are you on your period?
catspew 0
That is so unfortunate.
TrueDat_fml 0
Wow. that is nasty. I'm so sorry.
jackaaa 0
You must have bit him pretty freakin hard.
Kimmy3214 9
Probably not. Some pimples just need a tap, and POP! Nasty pimple juice. Right in the face. This was kind of funny though. How do you not see a pimple that can pop that easily lol
nityasomaiya 46
Or right in the mouth
alley_cat_118 0
#5: many guys (myself included) dig neck-biting without being vampires. #9: it doesn't take much to pop a pimple if it's already near bursting. Everyone else: you're absolutely right, this is beyond disgusting.
DottieGothicGirl 3
I think everyone exept #5 likes neck bitting i know i do!
littlelunatic95 3
that is just gross cause neck biting can really be a huge turn on but not when it happens like that