I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 713
You deserved it 3 903
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Same thing different taste

Not a morning person at the best of times

By shouldhavestayedinbed - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 685
You deserved it 2 162
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Top comments

RobinGoodfellow 47

The worst! I've done that and had to unscrew a window and climb through. Fortunately I live in the middle of nowhere so no one saw.

67 5
I_Bite 22

you turn the lock and pull the door behind you..

23 1

Comments

1nertia 15

Good Ol stress. Makes a bad day worse.

8 10
Emzinatorbot 26

If you don't live by yourself, I really don't think it's a problem

4 26
cheeeksss 29

Have you been locked out of your house before?

23 1
Allison_leah23 17

I think what #3 meant was that another member of the household would most likely have a key and it wouldn't be a problem getting back in :)

1 0
Gubbon 17

And why would OP post this if it wasn't a problem? Think people, think.

1 0
CandyDawg 21

Call in sick. Don't even bother going to work.

1 15
kirbs19 37

DANG NABIT! I've done that before

2 7
RobinGoodfellow 47

The worst! I've done that and had to unscrew a window and climb through. Fortunately I live in the middle of nowhere so no one saw.

67 5
cheeeksss 29

I'd be afraid to live in the middle of nowhere. What if someone else broke into your house and no one saw to report it? :O

2 7
RobinGoodfellow 47

Thing about the middle of nowhere is, there's not really anyone around to break into your house. Can't imagine a robber would be like, "Let's turn down this dirt road next to a cornfield and check out the prospects."

21 0
smokecloud_ 37

Yeah, but if horror movies have taught me anything, the middle of no where is home to backwoods, chainsaw-wielding serial killers. :o

2 3
Sydni_1022 8

How do you lock the door from the outside with no keys?

4 17
I_Bite 22

you turn the lock and pull the door behind you..

23 1
RobinGoodfellow 47

They never said they locked it from the outside.

3 2
Mauskau 35

My door doesn't have a handle, it has two locks and the top lock acts as a handle from the inside. Once you close the door, you need to use the top lock to open it. Basically put the key in, turn it and push the door.

5 1
BlueShade 17

Is it illegal to break into your own house?

2 12
xninix_fml 36

I don't think so.

2 2
foxwasalamb 24

what? if its your house you're not "breaking in". here, how about you do it and call the police and explain how you broke into your own house. id love to hear what their reaction would be

3 9
HairIsEverything 15

#23 why are all your comments so damn condescending? Every time you post something it's either a rude reply to a joke, or a ******* paragraph telling somebody off because they made a joke. What happened to FML? This is supposed to be about making light of a situation with lame puns and witty joking. Stop being so serious!!

12 0
Mauskau 35

Not even sure why you'd break into your own house and then call the police unless you were in danger, such as someone locking you out of the house that shouldn't even be in your house.

6 0