Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I treated myself to an hour long massage. Halfway through, I mumbled, “Thank you” to the masseuse and, without thinking, added, “I love you.” There was a long pause. Then she patted my head and whispered, “You’re welcome.” FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML
Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML
Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML
Today, I got my hair cut. When I was leaving, my stylist was standing fairly close while we were talking. She reached out to smooth out my hair; I went in for a hug. She didn't want a hug. Everyone who was there just stared at me until I left the building. FML
Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML
Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML
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Top comments
Marine1775 14
After I read the first sentence i was thinking something else.
ComoEsJuan 24
You were just saying thanks! Everyone deserves a good hug now and then.
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Comments (57)
metallica_wins 20
She's probably experienced it before. Don't worry about it.
michaelaranda 28
Considering that things got awkward fast, I'm guessing she hasn't.
lex1459 38
I have a feeling if it had happened many times before, the masseuse wouldn't have been awkward about it
ohSNAPyall 26
* massage therapist Many people in this profession try to avoid the sometimes skeavy connotations associated with the older word "masseuse."
mudkipsan 19
#35 - In many states, there's a significant difference between the two, legally. In Ohio especially, massage therapists are regulated by the state medical board, while anybody can be a masseuse. (And when did masseuse become a skeevy word? Maybe among skeevy people.)
cantik20 5
As LMT myself, a hug or two not a big deal as long doesn't follow with Mr. Boner poking out of their robes.
Marine1775 14
After I read the first sentence i was thinking something else.
amerw32 9
Yea, I agree. You can easily get massage and message mixed up.
yuzuhere 21
...I don't think that's what #2 was thinking.
Morqan_Freeman 14
@18 - #2 Was thinking about why most people dispise spiders, but adore Spiderman. I can only guess you are too young for any other explanation.
Fuaaad1994 31
Maybe because people haven't tried throwing shoes at Spider-Man
SarahSehhati 40
DO NOT QUESTION GOD!!!
Meettitan 14
Throwing shoes at spiderman would only rupture his eggsack releasing thousands of tiny spidermen throughout New York.
StillUsesMyspace 22
Contrary to popular belief, the eggs released by spiderman mature into regular spiders, not spidermen.
redstone7693 29
Happy ending
ComoEsJuan 24
You were just saying thanks! Everyone deserves a good hug now and then.
Nilorak 24
Touch me touch me I wanna feel your body.
teotsi 28
No.
davincidasecond 24
So I guess a happy ending was out of the question too? Bummer.
WeiXinLun 16
Based on your username, i thought this FML was going in a totally different direction
santyga 2
We've all had those awkwardly misread hugs
whatwhatindayeah 11
happy ending?
blufishie 17
Just because she touches people's bodies for a living doesn't mean she wants you to touch her back.
maarten82 2
This. A friend of mine had a pretty successful small business as an independent masseuse, but had to quit because she couldn't cope with the constant stream of men with, uhm, extra expectations. This was even though she was *very* explicit (both in promotional material and in real life) there would be *no* erotic element. Depressing.
bballer4life895 13
Tease