Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
Confiscate his key and keep an eye on yours. That's creepy.
ipman737 18
Have a serious talk with him?
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Comments (121)
ipman737 18
Have a serious talk with him?
whatafuckup 14
I'm sure she did
silvercamaro 22
In that talk OP should ask how he got a key to copy In the first place
buttcramp 21
for sure. boundaries are important in any relationship!
sig4life 18
Serious Talk? How about, hand me that key and we are over. There can be no valid reason for him to have that. Also you might want to check for cameras, get the locks changed, and totally take an inventory of all the items in your house ( that means your unmentionables also). Freaking creep gives guys a bad name.
RedPillSucks 31
naw. Don't even bother asking for the key cause you don't know how many copies were made. Change ALL your locks.
aaronmx8 5
#67 and people like you are why I'm saying ******* it and deleting this app
buttcramp 21
good advice, y'all. the boyfriend could be a creep, really controlling, or just ignorant of how a proper relationship is supposed to go.. I would for sure change locks and look for cameras like he said above, cause sometimes ya just don't know people..
kylieh72 25
83, you will not be missed.
WD_Stevens 22
Now let's not all jump to conclusions. We don't know the whole story yet. And as a famous doctor once said: "To speculate without all the facts is a waste of valuable time."
applebramble 22
At least he didn't bring another girl with him...
sig4life 18
Bye Aaron you will not be f$&*king missed.
buttcramp 21
87, while reading the FML, i totally thought that would be the ending.
paigexox0 37
86 we kinda have to do that for most FML's as not all details are put in, and if there even is a follow up it usually takes awhile
casual_commenter 9
#86 Isn't the fun part of FML speculating and drawing conclusions without all of the facts being present?
airforce987 20
Well that's awkward
Ian7890 23
thats not awkward, thats weird and creepy
KittenSandwich 9
Someone having a key you didn't give already means theft who knows what he would have done she wasn't there. I would have a serious talk.
Welshite 39
Confiscate his key and keep an eye on yours. That's creepy.
Bloodcalibur 13
And she should probably get her locks changed, copies are pretty easy to get
123amanda123 14
Run, just run... Maybe my judgment is a little paranoid from too many crime shows but I would sleep at someone's else's house until this issue is fixed.
kristabelli 19
I'd love to see OP do a follow-up comment to tell us what happened. It's possible the boyfriend was trying to do some kind of surprise for her.
pepsi_ftw 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe you gave it to him but you forgot about it.
Avenueoftrees 15
It's not something you tend to forget.
clrichmond2009 24
Run. Fast.
iAlissa 34
That is creepily concerning. Sit down and talk with this guy.
thisguy22 33
What should we talk about?
isuckwithnames 22
Call the cops?
razi1 20
Maybe you gave him the keys while doing Vodka shoots?
HersheySquirts 17
only one *o*
RedPillSucks 31
Vodka shoots! Vodka scores!!! No? Ok then...
reggie_k_dwight 16
Might be time for a new boyfriend OP
Bano360 25
Oh look it's this comment. Never seen this suggested before.
gracehi 31
In this case, I think dumping the guy is very appropriate. This guy is definitely obsessive and doesn't understand boundaries. And on top of that, he's sneaky. How the hell did he get a key to OP's home without her knowing??? Sounds to me like OP could be in physical danger with this guy, but in any case, who would want to date someone like that?
DanielleinDC 33
In this case, I agree. He got a key to her home without her knowledge or consent and sneaks into her house when he thinks she isn't there. That's just wrong. Dump this guy and get some new locks while you're at it.
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Change the locks. Add several more locks. Never lock all of them, so than anyone trying to pick your locks will always be locking at least one of the locks.
xxblmpknxx 10
Though I like the thought of this, you turn the tumbler one way to lock and another to unlock, so I'm not sure how well it'd work.
ThatSlappinBass 32
I'm not sure how it happened, but at my Yiayia's house, the dead bolt key has to be turned in the opposite direction than the normal lock on the doorknob. Maybe they could figure out a way to alternate the locks into a pattern, like left right, left right :P
fuggotmuggot 14
******* genius.
MidnightMadness 8
so is mine number 31 I think it's clever :)
jisaac09 25
@10, there is nothing clever about this myth. I only have a limited experience picking locks, but I always could feel whether I was locking or unlocking a dead bolt. Also, after you have all the tumblers picked, you can slam the bolt and hear which way it hit a hard stop. If it is coming in or if it is going out is easy to distinguish. Lastly, buy pick resistant locks. It is much cheaper and more secure than buying multiple locks and keeping part of them locked. I know you used it as a joke, but this has been circulating the web as helpful advice.
ExiledRemixx 13
Not the brightest lol. You try to lock pick you'll know it's already unlocked.
RedPillSucks 31
This is a common joke in some old sit-coms. It don't think it was ever meant to match with reality.