Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Tactical nuke
Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting out, "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML
Privacy
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Gassy
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML
Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML
Not now!
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Top comments
xStevieKingsleyx 12
YDI - why would you flush them down the toilet? That's stupid and bad in so many ways.
Welshite 39
Few things make me laugh. Kids trying to go behind their parents' backs and getting embarrassed in the process is one of them.
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Comments (109)
xStevieKingsleyx 12
YDI - why would you flush them down the toilet? That's stupid and bad in so many ways.
reneetlovesyou 30
Not sure why you got thumbed down, considering its true. It even says on the package NOT to do that. Pads shouldn't be flushed either.
Enslaved 36
I'm guilty of flushing them down the toilet as I'm sure others are too. *Knock on wood* never had a problem.
kenleybunch 15
I actually didn't know it was a thing NOT to flush them down the toilet. Damn. My world has been turned upside down.
JMichael 25
Obviously you're not supposed to since they expand when they touch something wet. It could clog the plumbing pipes.
kenleybunch 15
They don't expand that much though! Toilet pipe > ****** pipe
smokecloud_ 37
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I always flushed mine till I had a horrible backup in my old home. Landlord had a very awkward conversation with me. Now I only flush them in industrial business toilets. Tougher and also not my problem!
TheMathMajor 26
Yeah, they must have added that to the packaging more recently than when I was going through puberty because I read the box very carefully the first time I used a tampon and I've always flushed mine. Even though I know it's bad for plumbing now I still do it out of habit, plus it seems much more sanitary to flush it.
Kuro_Kamen 12
How do women not know this? It seems pretty common sense that you shouldn't flush those things down.
kirasant 19
Good god, what the hell people?! You can't flush those things! Seriously? "Toilet pipe > ****** pipe"? Unless I'm missing how these things work, they stick in your "****** pipe". And they stick in your "toilet pipes" too. If they were made to break down in water, they would break down in your "****** pipe" and you'd have scoop it out. They don't break down! They're made not to break down. Grow up and dispose of your things properly. And no, it's not "new." It's been like that since I was a teenager.
Unluckymeow 9
#32, there's this thing called taking out the garbage, which I believe is much more sanitary than sewage backup.
NeatNit 32
One day, sewage and garbage would be combined into a unified fool-proof insta-disposal system. Until that day, don't you DARE mix the two up.
hippo1234 19
I have a dog that can get into anything and everything. I flush tampons. But I don't flush pads. They have plastic on them, and they're easy to wrap up. Tampons really aren't. Plus, why do the cardboard ones say "with flushable applicator" if you can't flush them? I don't flush them in weak plumbing aka RVs or cabins or homes on septic, but I have never had a problem flushing them.
hippo1234 19
I mean, not to be crude, but if toilets can handle massive dumps, they can handle some small fluffy cotton-y stuff. Don't flush the plastic applicators, obviously.
nnnope 26
the amount of ignorance in this thread is overwhelming. don't flush tampons, the end. there is /no/ excuse for it. I mean unless you WANT to back up your septic system... in which case, keep up the good work. -_- also, #65, your massive dumps break down. tampons do not.
CocaColaPepsi 13
some, like the ones I use away you can flush them. a lot however do not
jisaac09 25
@64, If it has a flushable applicator, the applicator can be flushed. That doesn't mean everything can. That is like thinking you can consume the water bottle because the water is potable.
interesting33 36
I get not flushing pads but if a tampon has been used it is already full" (though that does depend on flow etc. as you should still change them regularly) but they don't expand that much.
Plywoodman 3
It all depends on the plumbing and how old it is. Old cast iron pipes that were used EVERYWHERE a few decades ago have this thing. They rust and corrode. Starting on the inside and so they have a tendency to shrink. We own several apartment buildings and have had to re-plumb the piping when the what used to be 2-4" pipes shrank on the inside to less than an inch at some spots. In addition- strings and the like can get caught on corrosion in the pipes. Use too much toilet paper and it gets stuck as well but at least toilet paper is made to disintegrate with water. Don't flush tampons ladies. We had a tenant once who did it, even after we fixed the issue blockage and spoke to them about it. The blockages reoccurred. So they got to deal with a plumbing charge on the next several times it happened til the couple split up and had to break the lease. It's nasty to us who fix the issue and we will ALL give uncomfortable discussions if you get in trouble. Count on it.
botanistjessica 24
People. This has nothing to do with the state/quality of your pipes. They clog up the septic tank AFTER they go through the pipes. This means that no matter how ******* shiny and amazing your pipes are, if you flush tampons, they will remain in your septic tank for YEARS.
geeksaresexy 18
What is this 'septic tank' you speak of? Seriously though, you make it sound like every single house has one, hardly anyone here has a septic tank so it has EVERYTHING to do with the quality of your plumping. It's not a good idea to flush them though.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
#64 A dog is no excuse for laziness. If they are stealing your pads and tampons out of the bin it might be time to put your bins up high, close the door when you are done, or install some baby gates to keep them out of specific area's in your house. I know that dogs also like to steal dirty underwear and eat the middle out of them. Do you flush those too? I doubt it. This is why we invent precautionary measures.
OscarEcho 12
DON'T flush tampons. Our (ex) basement tenant did that, and we ended up with the whole hardwood floor floating on top of what turned out to be 50 gallons of poo (the previous owner had put plastic between the hardwood and the floor base, so the smell was contained). The plumber had to shuffle the liquid human waste into buckets and take it away. Had to remove the floor and the lower half of the walls, and put a drying fan to work for two months before rebuilding the appartment. The tampons clogging the pipes had expanded to the size of tennis balls. No drain system is made for that!
SuperStormCindy 8
You're supposed to.
colton_colton 50
So what would you do differently next time?
zandalee 19
Ummm. Buy Apple stocks when I was a kid, avoided a certain Peter when I was 22.... What would you have done differently?
qyka1210 12
I'm so gonna do this to my future kids on purpose if I ever see them doing this
Adysin 4
The only thing I got outta that is you're gonna watch your daughters use the bathroom.
singer0421 32
He means that he's purposely going to say something embarrassing in front of his children's friends if his kids disobey his rules.
qyka1210 12
yeah I seriously doubt OP watched his daughters in the bathroom. I would guess they saw "the remains".
Welshite 39
Few things make me laugh. Kids trying to go behind their parents' backs and getting embarrassed in the process is one of them.
lochiamochia 25
Is this the same OP whose mom updated her Facebook status to "my daughter is on her rag and won't shut up #annoyingbitch?" Maybe she heard you Skyping too loud.
Spyingcheeseman 8
I can't think of anything witty that has to do with tampons, or toilets, or, skyping.
phatdaddy62 23
Then shut the **** up!
singer0421 32
So don't comment?
nana_star 27
Just because there's an option to comment doesn't mean that you should, every single time. Read the funny comments till you think of something witty
DocBastard 38
When I was younger, if there was a girl I was interested in I'd actually sneak out of the house to see her. But now kids just Skype instead? Interesting.
Enslaved 36
Were you screwed if you were interested in a girl that lived passed a 5 mile radius?
Welshite 39
He took the horse and buggy, Enslaved.
DocBastard 38
I'll get you for that, Welshite! Get back here! Dammit, where's my cane?
OctoDope 15
Over by the davenport resting beside your slippers.
adrianh1090 12
I would have laughed my ass off if I was that guy on the screen.
leary96 15
She probably knew you were skyping and wanted to have some fun with it.
gunnerysgt 15
I swear I've seen this FML before... I don't know why... It just seems so familiar