Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
airforce987 20
To be perfectly honest, the Christmas tree is actually adopted from Germanic pagan traditions and there is no proof that Jesus was born on December 25th. She has a valid point.
thatkid00117 16
What's a family holiday without unstable family members?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (161)
hghrider123456 9
Merry Christmas!
SonOfAMitch 14
I guess one way to handle this situation is to say "No Grandma, you're thinking of Easter!" and continue on with the festivities.
TheCanucklehead 22
Celebrate: Sam.T.Sir.HC. A day to celebrate Sir Sam T and his hockey club (or in other words, Christmas backwards).
JesterJosh 5
#29, That was beyond dumb. The origin of Christmas was a pagan thing but now adopted by modern religions to celebrate having the people around you. Personally I would tell your grandma to shut up and enjoy her free shit and fatty foods like the rest of us.
emilycb93 12
Christmas is technically a Christian holiday created to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. However, several modern non-Christian families celebrate it as a holiday to exchange gifts and spend time with the family.
Flickstar23 10
Yes, the birth of Christ is a Christian holiday, but the date of the holiday was changed to coincide with the Pagan holiday of Yule in a bid to get Pagans to convert to Christianity.
incoherentrmblr 22
It's always someone's grandma...
KawaiiCupcake 14
Why are you even arguing about this? Who cares?
Kyuubi_Rose 11
63- Jesus was not born in winter, this is a holiday that the Christians stole. But Christmas is awesome even without the tree, Christmas is about family not trees and gifts
Siererrr 13
63 wow thank you. I was so unsure of what he meant by "Christmas".
tukies 28
All time we were thinking the lights were setting Christmas trees randomly on fire, but it's really crazy grandmas that are.
MrsDruidess 23
63, really you need some real education in history! I am shocked people still believe that, that aren't over 80 years old! Grow up, there really are religions older than yours! The two biggest days of your "Christian" religion were taken from paganism to make it easier for them when they were forced into Christianity.
Gearden 8
I guess that's one way to light the tree.
blargh16 5
The Christians put their own holiday on the same day as another religion's holiday and kept some of the traditions? My, what horrible people. Sounds like the kind of people who rape and murder a woman for having sex outside of marriage. Or for trying to get an education. Or for walking outside without a male family member. Oh wait, that's the Muslims. The Christians just try to make people better. They're sooooo horrible. When was the last time a Christian killed a non-Christian for the sole reason that they weren't a Christian?
emilycb93 12
89: Did I ever deny that there are religions older than mine? In fact Christianity stemmed from Judaism, which is far older. I also never denied that there was another holiday on December 25, rather, I explained what Christmas it. It even has Christ in the holiday, it's hard to argue that it isn't about Christ. Before attacking someone on internet over a comment in which you obviously didn't understand, you should probably reread it.
Ardatlile 13
#106 christmas was set to dec 24/25 (depending on country) to take over the ancient roman festival saturnalia, which was celebrated from dec 17 to dec 23, in honor of the deity saturn, and the turn in solstice.. also on dec 25 they celebrated sol invictus, the birthday of unconquerable sun.. so really take your pick, but it is not christmas, because it "has christ in it", its just convenient theiving of ancient holidays.. happy ******* x-mas, right?
ccsaker 11
Sorry man, Yule is the 21st not the 25th
thatkid00117 16
What's a family holiday without unstable family members?
the_zero_article 15
A happy one...
hghrider123456 9
Christmas is the one time of the year where you see your relatives and you realize that once a year is still to much
DREAMCATCHERoooo 4
Amen to that!
junkman6 22
Can't wait until this coming Friday! Another year of my Mexican and Irish family exchanging gifts and fists around the Christmas tree. It's normal to stock up on first aid equipment when the family comes into town right?
Sports_guy3 28
#26- and a personal ambulance.
perdix 31
#2, dull ... and the reason they play "A Christmas Story" on an endless loop.
Sandman366 6
You don't need unstable relatives to have a fun Christmas. Just crazy ones. Safer that way too, don't need to stress about where you leave flammable liquids.
slooby_fml 25
Make her a homemade Christmas cookie in the shape of satan
franchoi1 5
Pagans are not satan worshipers
BMTHsuperfan 18
what exactly would the shape of satan look like?
junkman6 22
#71 Miley Cyrus in a hooker style Michael Jordan jersey.
shyeahh_fml 19
39, everyone that isn't a Christian is a satan worshiper. My lack of evidence/logic does not make this any less true.
Fuaaad1994 31
Set her alight and call her a pagan
tpm45 25
That's a little extreme, no?
Fuaaad1994 31
Yes because I really was being literal in that comment. I'm now reading the news, constantly checking if there's been an incident where an elderly woman has been set alight
clemsi 20
^ You sir win the Internet
onlychildFTW 34
Who would want the internet??? It's riddled with viruses and other ETDs. (electronically transmitted diseases).
airforce987 20
To be perfectly honest, the Christmas tree is actually adopted from Germanic pagan traditions and there is no proof that Jesus was born on December 25th. She has a valid point.
DudeEvil 22
In fact, he was born in April or May
gracehi 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Actually, I believe the Christmas tree is an evolution of the wreath, which used to represent the rings of Saturn during the Winter Solstice. That would make it a post-paganism addition, as is the star or angel placed at the top to represent what guided people to the place where Jesus was born. However, you are correct that the first Christmas tree was German, and that Jesus wasn't born on December 25th.
PenguinBitch 44
I read Saturn as Sauron. I was amused for a moment...
annie_nk 23
That doesn't mean she should set fire to their tree and ruin the holiday spirit.
gracehi 33
Lol, 33. But I thought Sauron had only one ring...one ring to rule them all...
sanecatlady 13
So setting fire to the tree and endangering people's lives makes it okay?
sanecatlady 13
I don't care if he was born on Mars on the last day of February during a leap year!!! BECAUSE HE WAS NEVER BORN AT ALL!!! D:<
JesterJosh 5
#33 it might as well have said that. I read halfway through the first sentence before I came to my senses. That subsection of stupid is too much for me.
gracehi 33
Well, 55, mind explaining what was wrong with what I said?
EbyKat 16
No one said it was ok, just that she had a point.
shyeahh_fml 19
23, Pardon my lack of research before commenting, but were Saturn's rings known about before the first telescope, which was invented years after Christianity took control?
Ubehage 32
I don't care what valid points she might have.. Anyone who burns down MY property, because THEY don't like that I celebrate MY traditions... I'd burn her down right there next to the tree!
AgentPlatypus73 8
True as that may be, it's no reason to BURN DOWN someone else's tree. I'm sure they were not trying to perform some "Evil Pagan rituals", but rather just celebrating Christmas in such a way that has become a tradition.
tolkien897 15
so what? yule is a great holiday
pwnman 33
I can see this thread closing soon...
olpally 33
Off to the nursing home she goes. She's a ******* psycho path.
NotAnAvidGolfer 4
Those are the worst kinds of paths.
Rozay333 36
Your grandma sounds like a bitch.
onlychildFTW 34
I doubt OPs grandmum is a female dog.
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Gotta love those "oh grandma" moments
rdenkewicz 11
What a jerk. I bet she doesn't know what the pagan holiday is called.
eyedea84 5
I believe winter solstice, or new beginnings.
geekbuscus 19
or Yule
moisesmarine 1
Do you?
Link5794 18
Isn't it Saturnalia?