Anonymous
United States
Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Thanks mom
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Sleepy
Apo, United States
Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML
that one anon
San Diego, United States
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
xoccerplaya
United States
Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML
callerid
United States
Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML
taylor124
United States
Wish you were here
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
noway6000
United States
Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Controlling
Today, even though I was very clear before I went on holiday that I was going completely zero contact to de-stress, my mother rang at least twice a day. When I stopped answering the phone, she found the direct number of the local police station in a foreign country and sent them to find me. FML
lonely
United States
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Anonymous
Garza Garcia, Mexico
Bye then!
Today, while on holiday. I got a call to let me know my job will be gone away when I return. FML
Top comments
ClaireWinchester 17
If it was a robber they clearly aren't very smart
slooby_fml 25
"I will find you. And I will kill you."
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Comments (66)
deadchicken 3
Hey is your refrigerator running? Well you better go catch it ahahaha
TheCanucklehead 22
That's not funny. Never has been. Never will
slooby_fml 25
Well, humor is subjective. It's probably funny to a 9 year old who's hearing it for the first time
deadchicken 3
Temptation to get the first comment for the first time was so high my brain resorted to using a childish "joke". My bad xD
ClaireWinchester 17
If it was a robber they clearly aren't very smart
mFUNdo21 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
plot twist: op called the wrong number
Nyx_fml 23
That sounds like a boring plot twist. I like the original story better.
Ambient25 24
Plot twist: OP called Dog. "Yes, this is dog"
Epikouros 31
Plot twist: it was OP's wife's lover, ******* his other girlfriend in their bed.
Ambient25 24
Plot Twist: ^ Refrain from further plot twists please.
Nyx_fml 23
Op already left us a nice cliffhanger.
tjv3 10
Hopefully you hung up and called the police
Twonty2 6
The hell man?...
Twonty2 6
Respect
slooby_fml 25
"I will find you. And I will kill you."
AnOriginalName 19
"I don't know where you are...."
slooby_fml 25
Hahaha I didn't even think about that! I was just trying to quote Taken. Besides, the person in OP's house will probably be long gone by the time OP gets home
Ambient25 24
"I dunno who you are. I dunno what you want. If it's sugar it's in the pantry. Just know that if you eat my ice cream, I will find you, I will cut you, I will kill you" *Guy with mouthful of ice cream* "Good luck"
tracirs_ 7
This made me laugh way more than it probably should have. Oh sleep deprivation haha
IloveToLaugh143 21
"Do not touch my oreos. If you were smart, you'd be scared."
ms_YoungMula 8
#23 Best Comment Ever
The_Big_Boss 20
Someone was nice enough to look after your house while you were gone is all
flashback.miss 28
get the police. better safe than sorry.
Maverick52 13
I'm unsure as how The Police could do anything about the situation other than sing "Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you"
Axipiter 24
45, this would have been way funnier if a) the previous post had said "The Police", rather than "the police", and 2) you hadn't basically quoted the whole ******* song.
NoFlippinWai 24
What did you say?
bradleysol 11
Sounds like someone's cleaning your house for you. By cleaning, I mean cleaning it out. Sorry OP
JoeGrant 12
If only OP could explain a bit more as to what happened. I'm sure something else transpired! OP, call the police!
Soninuva 41
Cue the Twilight Zone theme!
Kalipczo 21
Eh that's pretty not okay. I'd call the cops or a neighbor to check it out for you.