Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML
Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML
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Top comments
awkwardloveannie 28
JustJumped 22
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Comments (90)
awkwardloveannie 28
Koppol 15
What a gentleman!
matthewesparza12 13
He deserves a reward for his act of kindness c;
football98_fml 20
wat was in there for him to throw up in it and not want it anymore?!
Verst 16
There should be only one reaction to this sort of theft. *Puts on sunglasses* YEAHHHH!
keepcalmandbacon 16
60, I think you forgot to put the punch line in that comment ._.
Lolthatsuxbroski 7
Sometimes people that throw up a lot are taught to grab anything they see that they can through up in... That could be the case..
Neyuu 18
*still waiting for the joke*
JustJumped 22
LeFrogDog 27
barf bag?
Enslaved 36
OP's purseonality must have made the thief sick.
Sfaizi24 17
Don't call me Shirley
PimpdaddyCJT 13
Did he see your lady products?
misspulkadot24 17
Well I know that's the first thing I would be concerned about.
jkmartinjk 16
I think what he is trying to say is that is why the strange threw up... in that case, I think you need a stronger stomach #3, if little squishy pieces of foam make you vomit.
PimpdaddyCJT 13
Trust me that doesn't bother me I was just saying it as a joke FMLers do not forgive though. Hahaha ya can't win them all
Micayla 12
Well that's a sticky situation.
Ctrl_H 18
Oh come on, that was just awful. People who use that pun in the RIGHT context get buried, did you purposely use it in the wrong context thinking you would get thumbed up?
Jjimen1654 9
Maybe 36, just maybe not everyone is concerned about getting thumbed up or down. Seriously their just comments. Who cares.
HeavenlyAura 15
They're*
skulltorn 8
Your jokes awful and you should feel awful!
Dave_Davington 33
There are some sick people in this work.
ariiewilliams 17
That is so gross. Couldn't he have thrown up elsewhere instead of a stranger's purse?
TheBrochure 22
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
addioty 19
#5, why do you have a picture of acacia clark as your profile picture? she isn't someone most people would like to be associated with.
Trish01 23
I just googled Acacia Clark to see find out who she is. I think my IQ just halved. Thanks.
ariiewilliams 17
She looks like a freak in my profile pic plus i almost pissed myself laughing at it.
evan_7899 28
Hopefully you don't have your phone in there
Ctrl_H 18
She did. She then took out the vomit covered phone and posted this on the scene of the crime.
evan_7899 28
Then she got a call and forgot about the recent “mugging” and pressed the spew covered phone against her cheek
strike2867 13
Is it still a crime if he gave the purse back?
sexualbbw 4
Well that's a new low of mugging
LilFlutter 10
Maybe it should be called "chunking".
thrifting 18
The audacity and stupidity of some people astounds me.
feelingold 18
he just didn't want to litter
stvn2 8
You should've dumped it on his head
ariiewilliams 17
That is disgusting and it probably got everywhere inside so where would she hold onto the purse at? Im not sticking my fingers in throw up.
NeighSoulSister 6
16- You could just, I dunno, hold onto the sides?