Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
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Top comments
AlwayzCelly 13
What a jerk, it was obviously an accident, at least you tried to help him
MysticMonkey 9
At least you went to check on him instead of driving off like so many people have done :)
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Comments (125)
AlwayzCelly 13
What a jerk, it was obviously an accident, at least you tried to help him
SwaggCapone 11
I wanna know if OP screamed like a girl when the cyclist jumped up
KingDead 18
50pts to OP for hitting this asshole lol
friedpwnadge 25
I would have beat at the crap out of him. You don't scare someone like that and then injure them and scare them again. ****** deserved whatever injuries he got.
then000bster 16
I love that cyclist!!! I would totally pull something like that. Always good to pay the person back. I just wonder if it really was Op fault.
VeganVampyre 26
While I agree that it was good of OP to get out and try to help the cyclist, and that the cyclist was a jerk, how can you possibly know whether it was obvious that it was an accident or not? We have no real details, and just because the post tells us it was an accident, that doesn't actually prove that it was, or that the cyclist could tell that it was. How do you know what it looked like?
iSmellMusic 8
107 - Because people don't hit other people with their cars for fun and then try to help the injured victim.
ChaCerCam 14
honestly, HE GOT YOUR SORRY ASS.
Medd_fml 13
He was just trying to teach you a lesson. In the worst way possible.
Caitie_kid 8
Yeah, at least he didn't try to sue!!
yetanotherginger 19
The lesson being...? Plan your accidents in advance so that you can avoid them?
perdix 29
#4, the lesson for today is this: If you think you might have killed a cyclist with your car, . . . run over him 4 or 5 more times to make sure.
Ki11erC 18
7 - We don't sue like morons where OP is from.
MrConcise 34
@23 - That's right, natural selection. They'll learn to use the damn sidewalks.
yetanotherginger 19
#30 I'm a personal injury paralegal in London. I assure you, we DO sue like morons where OP is from. I have literally seen a client sit and accept advice from someone that their claim is worth between £10,000 - £12,000 and then turn around and say they will claim professional negligence from my firm if they get less than £50,000.
MysticMonkey 9
At least you went to check on him instead of driving off like so many people have done :)
ThePK 5
Oh...I figured he/someone was gonna steal your car during that, but a swift punch in the face from a crazy troll cyclist works too.
Olympiakos10 15
I know right! When people call the ground the floor I swear I could shoot my damn brains ou-....... No, I actually couldn't give 2 *****...
PandaSmile 24
This is why I hate cyclists. He should be grateful you tried to help. What an arse.
gracehi 31
Well, OP did just run him over, so I can understand him being pissed off. Really, I can't figure out if it's worse to get punched in the face or to have hitting a cyclist on your driving record. Maybe he thought he was doing OP a favor by not calling the cops. Although I'm not sure I believe this FML. I got hit by a car once when I was riding my bike. I was crossing the road. I thought the driver had seen me, but he started inching forward from a stop when I was in front of him. I was badly bruised, but I was able to hop back up and assure the driver I was alright. My bike, on the other hand, had a twisted frame and bent wheels. I couldn't ride it anymore. I don't see how this guy could have hopped back on his bike and ridden away, even if the car just tapped him. That's several thousand pounds on the bike, even if it's just a light tap, and bikes aren't designed for that kind of impact. I'll say this though: if this is true, that is one resilient cyclist!
doodlecloud 26
You hate cyclists because one guy got angry at being in an accident? I don't condone his behaviour but don't judge a whole group of people on the actions of a few. That's stupid and (if you're annoyed with certain cyclists because they assume all drivers are rude, idiots) just as bad.
perdix 29
People like this make the "hit and run" option seem more attractive and reasonable.
rhysfucker 24
Or "hit...hit...hit...run"
Ameel_fml 19
On the bright side, at least you didn't kill someone. :D
perdix 29
#3, I do, too. It's not like "the ground" is such an obscure term familiar only to those "in the know." (I was going to write "cognoscenti," but that would have sounded pretentious . . . oops.)
football98_fml 20
you did your part of trying to help him and make sure hes okay and he was just being a jerk. Good job OP