Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my dad sent me $200 by mail, only to mail it to the wrong person. So now some random person is getting $200 from my dad. FML
Today, I realized that not only did my parents not get me anything for Christmas, they also stole the $500 my grandparents gave me to buy a computer. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, my grandfather sent me a bill from when I had to live with him in foster care. I apparently owe him 62k for shampoo, food, etc. FML
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nanxi 30
'Cause you know, that is definitely a name your kid won't be made fun over. Go treat your grandfather with something really nice, OP.
SilentScreamer 12
Your father's a smart man.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
SilentScreamer 12
Your father's a smart man.
wlddog 14
I dont know about that. Instead of Anthrax, their name could still be pretty bad. I see Cheeseburger-9000 is their screen name, what if that is also their real name????
journeytotheend 16
Goldberg?
jarrettd 27
Dinkleburg!?!
ladyLALAA 28
Zoidberg?
tjv3 10
I hope you are very thankful for your grandpa
journeytotheend 16
I should've guessed my reference was to old for the majority of people here
pie_flavor 16
For once on this site, go grampa.
anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 8
Hey, at least you would be feared! No bullies at school :)
Mossears133 15
Just imagine if he had gotten lost in an airport as a child "ANTHRAX! ANTHRAX!!!!!!!!" *chaos* "Excuse me sir, you're going to have to come with me for questioning'
poetrywriter12 6
Well make sure you are worth 200 otherwise your grand dad might change your name and get his money back.
nanxi 30
'Cause you know, that is definitely a name your kid won't be made fun over. Go treat your grandfather with something really nice, OP.
buddy51 23
Grampaw wanted you to be named Osama instead?
sux4u121 10
No he wanted him named cheeseburglar_9000
imyy 20
Anthrax is a pretty sweet rockstar name, after all...and you know you can change your name, right?
Beanie2012 12
Yeah but you most likely can't change it while growing up.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
He should have been called Slayer instead. More badass.
efrainelboricua 12
You can at any age. You just have to pay for it. At least in America you can.
gracehi 31
Your grandpa deserves a million hugs from you.
SuperDanielNL 23
You are not, so there is no real problem. I know what kinds rediculous names I could have had, I really got lucky. So you are lucky to OP. Besides would your dad have called your sister Sarin, VX or Mustard?
RedPillSucks 31
Sarin sounds like such a nice name, like her sister Chlamydia
SuperDanielNL 23
At least Chlamydia doesn't kill you, and spreading Chlamydia is way more fun than spreading Sarin.
karlcolt45 19
bro you missed out! you could have rocked that name. it's infectious
oliver86 8
I guess that's a risk when your Dad is a metalhead.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
Well, I'd never name my son "Metallica."