Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my mom and I had to shovel our driveway after an epic snowstorm that left us with 22 inches of snow. We only needed to dig out my mom's car and not mine. After we did all that work and shoveled all the snow onto the side where my car was we found out my mom had a flat tire. FML
Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, "Wow, is this really the best you can do?" FML
Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML
Today, my mom and I were running late for school, and she got pretty stuck in the snow so she asked me to dig her out. Then she ran over my foot. As I got into the car and blamed her for what she'd done, she shouted at me that she couldn't care less, and that we had to hurry. FML
Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML
Today, our dog became ill. My mom wasted no time attending her every needs and became very distressed. When I had appendicitis a few months ago, my mom told me to “sleep it off” and a friend had to take me to the hospital. She only called once to bitch at me for “doing this on purpose to make her feel bad.” FML
Today, my mother-in-law scheduled her neck surgery for the same day our baby is being born. She also fully expects my husband to drive her to the hospital and stay for her recovery. Uh, yeah no. FML
Today, I already hate the holidays. My mom has been trying to be helpful, but has severe undiagnosed memory problems that our family ignores. They've also ignored all the house repairs, but have no problem consoling her while she cries how mean I am for missing her party, because I used my vacation time to fix the house. FML
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Top comments
Nightwing98 22
Damn, that's a lot of planning just to be lazy. I'm pretty sure it's counter-productive.
perdix 29
Your mom is very industrious -- she had to combine the skills of a meteorologist, an orthopedist and an actress to pull off this trick. And what the **** kind of son are you? Why aren't you shoveling Momma's snow? She pushed your big, bulbous head through her ****** -- you owe her big time!
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Comments (85)
Nightwing98 22
Damn, that's a lot of planning just to be lazy. I'm pretty sure it's counter-productive.
Cbizzlez 10
She's actively lazy, that's a juicy contradiction
jarrettd 27
It took more effort for her to plan it out, then it would have if she had just done it.
OriginalimoaN 15
Mom sounds like a pro procrastinator; it doesn't seem like she'd have too much trouble concocting that plan.
BinaryGuy 22
She sure spent a lot of time and effort to be lazy!
daniel_dd31 13
Shovelling snow sucks, but this is just being extremely lazy.
CheeseHater 23
That's the thing with lazy people. They will waste a lot of time and energy to not use time and energy.
niftyhasdelulz 12
The irony.
Zomg_Okay 26
Personally, I'd be too happy at the prospect of snow to care.
OhDearBetrayal 25
Not if you've lived up north all your life you wouldn't.
Zomg_Okay 26
Probably not. Where I am though, we get snow once every few years at best. I'm obviously going to be happy to see it when we do get it. :p
natsaysheyyy 16
I live in Vegas, so I know what you mean!
klutz44 28
I'm from Chicago and I still get giddy at the prospect of snow.
Marvin_Kay 10
Awesome mom you got there
iAlissa 34
No, not really.
Starko_fml 3
What a lazy comment
iAlissa 34
I had no idea laziness was planned.
RpiesSPIES 27
How is it not? Example: Oh, I've got Flash homework due in 10 hours, I'll just read FML's and play games until 7 of said 10 hours pass.
daniel_dd31 13
I kind of agree with 5. Laziness is usually not planned it just happens.
wlddog 14
I have been meaning to schedule some lazy for later in the week,,,, but..... I am too tired right now. Can you do it for me?
Pleonasm 35
She got her neck injured like that doing favors for your dad so that he would to the shoveling instead of her, duh.
zombieslayer83 19
Chicken necking it.
kinky44 28
...Please down vote my comment
kinky44 28
I had a great comment but the computer put it in the wrong place
Pleonasm 35
Sure, the computer ;)
Smashhoof 15
#38 No, I'll upvote your comment.
melons 44
Pleonasm, what's with the American spellings?!
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Neck injury? Give me a break. What a cold, white lie. I'm sorry OP. At least you snow now.
Smashhoof 15
OP can snow?
AwkwardPartyBear 24
It was a pun. I guess it didn't work out the way I planned.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
It was a pun. I guess it didn't work out the way I planned.
thelinlinx3 10
You're the awkward party bear anyway, so you're excused.
doglover100 28
Being lazy takes a lot of effort
perdix 29
Your mom is very industrious -- she had to combine the skills of a meteorologist, an orthopedist and an actress to pull off this trick. And what the **** kind of son are you? Why aren't you shoveling Momma's snow? She pushed your big, bulbous head through her ****** -- you owe her big time!
XxDevilxXGt 26
Well OP would probably have been shoveling anyways, but he might have expected some help from his parents. You never know how big their driveway is or how difficult it will be. 1 person shoveling a 20X5meter driveway after snowstorm is awful if they don't have a snowblower. Unless there's only a thin layer of snow.
XxDevilxXGt 26
And I don't think it's valid to say just because OP was born he owes his mom a crapload of things. I guess OP should also deal drugs for his mom if she asked him to so she wouldn't have to get her hands dirty or arrested. OP's mom wasn't paid to have OP, she wanted it. Hopefully. :P
ManInTheMachine 19
XxDevilxXGt: You're taking perdix too seriously. Rarely does he ever mean what he says.
natsaysheyyy 16
Agreed! I was going to ask why OP didn't just offer to do it. And it's not just the birth part, it's the raising of his entire life and the 20+ years she's spent putting him before herself (hopefully). Be grateful to your momma!
kumonsucks 7
Thats a smart ass lazy woman you got tere