Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandma was arrested for throwing her cane at a man who she thought was mocking her walk. That man was my boyfriend's father, who limps because of his cerebral palsy. He refuses to drop the assault charges. FML
Mystery
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to surprise him and caught him with another girl. As my boyfriend got up to explain himself, I, in a state of shock, violently threw up on him (and partially her). His mum had let me in the house. At least I know whose side she's on. FML
Not now, Dave
Today, my husband cracked a "Rectum? Damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML
Read the room
Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Top comments
SirCharles83 13
The problem is not the problem. The problem is your grandmas reaction to the problem. That's the problem.
BubbleGrunge 18
Well, your boyfriend seems like an asshole for wanting to press charges, however granny didn't need to hit him over the head with a vase. Perhaps everyone can sit down and settle things like adults? Hopefully this will teach your boyfriend to keep his rude jokes to himself!
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Comments (243)
SirCharles83 13
The problem is not the problem. The problem is your grandmas reaction to the problem. That's the problem.
MDTeddy 13
Old people will always be ******* dumber than 13 year old kids even though they can be pretty dumb with the sex and all. You can't help old ladys with anything anymore without being hit in the face. According to this fml you can't tell jokes. It was only just a joke whether it was a terrible joke or not.
SirCharles83 13
There are certain jokes you do not make in front of grandmothers. There is also a way to react when some one does or says inappropriate things in your presence. Clubbing them with a vase probably doesn't fit the category.
SirCharles83 13
Also, the boyfriend could be young and dumb, as most of us were. I expect moronic behavior from a young male teen. That's what they do. However I would expect the grandma to show some wisdom and restraint.
Kukironosuke 16
"thats how most of us were" there is NO excusing this kind of additude, any age or gender or hormones, no human person should be this impolite/rude/idiotic the only time you can make jokes like that is if your amongst peers of your age group and you know the group talks like that any teenager who talks to strangers like they would their friends deserves to be punished(maybe not this bad) but theres no excuse saying "thats how boys are", boys, and people in general should grow out of doing whatever comes to mind when they come into logic and reasoning (8-11)
TxCountryBeauty 10
No. The problem isn't with the grandma. It's called showing respect to your elders. He needed to be hit if he was being that crude in front of his girlfriends grandma. Really if he can't even take a hit from an old lady he's not much of a man anyway.
SirCharles83 13
Ok 83. If it was the girlfriend that made the joke, would she deserve to get hit by the grandfather? Violence is never the answer. I especially hate people who get violent with those that are not allowed to strike back. No one deserves to get hit with a vase for a comment. Wtf happened to being the bigger person?
chell1894 13
The grandma should have respectfully asked her boyfriend to leave if she was offended by the joke. Hitting someone with a vase can cause severe wounds with the glass breaking and resulting in stitches. If it was the other way around and the boyfriend smashed the grandma on the head with a vase because he was offended by a joke I think everyone would agree the boy should be pressed with charges. Why should it be different just because she's an elderly woman? Just because she's elderly she can physically hurt anyone that offends her?
junkman6 22
Violence is never the answer hahaha that line is hilarious. That boys mama shoulda been clipping him across his head all his life to teach him respect.
SirCharles83 13
Yea exactly junkman, look how you turned out.
Meettitan 14
The elderly shouldn't get to act like this. The adage "Respect your elders" seems odd to me, you're supposed to earn respect.
beastseclipse 9
Right. That's just what 100% of young male teens do. It's not as though specific age, parentage, emotional stability, geographical location and cultural background, etc have anything to do with it. If you see a young male teen, we should all just assume they're up to something because of their age and sex, right?
TxCountryBeauty 10
94- you forget that most elderly people grew up when it was still ok to spank your child when they were being disrespectful. She's accustomed to it. Her weapon of choice was absurd but he still deserved it. 180-How do the elderly not deserve our respect? They've lived their lives and done their fair share dealing with disrespectful imbeciles. In your theory you're saying that you still have to prove that you're worthy of respect even when you're 80 years old.
doctorhook86 24
I can't be the only person wondering what the joke was...
Jirekianu2 19
Words do not justify physical violence.
sens3sfailing 24
113- elderly people can't live in the past, they have to follow today's rules, no matter what they grew up with. And I am not going to respect a 80 year old pedophile just because he's old. They need to have accomplished something in their life. They never said they need to keep proving themselves btw, just that they need to do something worthy of respect first
chell1894 13
Whether she spanked her kids or not has nothing to do with it. Those were her children and her way of raising them. Not only was this man not a child he is in know way of relation to her. So whether she's accustomed to spanning children or not has nothing to do with physically harming another because she was offended.
tjv3 10
Take family over not family. Your bf should have known better
lolx7 5
94 I don't agree with the grandmother's reaction, but that is different because a man should never hit a woman.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
124- wrong, someone's sex is nothing to do with it, a person should never hit another person, end of. (obviously excluding self defence etc)
junkman6 22
105- since you're gonna make the comment ill tell you. I'm 25 making a 6 figure salary and just bought my second home.(renting out the first) because my old man whooped my ass when I was disrespectful and taught me there are consequences for acting like an ass. But you're right I turned out horrible so my point is invalid.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
^ true, but to be fair, how much you make or the house you own are material possessions, its the person you are that counts. Teaching your child right and wrong is really important yes :) but you don't have to be violent, a stern voice and explanation why something is wrong is surely better than beating up your kid?
DanielleinDC 33
There's no excuse for hitting someone. She could very well have tossed him out of her home or told him off. But hit him? No. Both parties are wrong here and OP should say to her boyfriend, "You just don't tell rude jokes like that in front of my family" and to her grandmother, "Grandma, I understand why you're upset, but you just don't cosh people over the head with a vase. If you're offended, use your words."
great_just_great 22
I'd just like to point out the fact that you made a whole bunch of spelling and grammar errors while pointing out the stupidity of other people. By your logic you're clearly old yourself... Well over eighty I'd say...
great_just_great 22
That's to #30.
rangerPat 12
113- Just a quick FYI. You can still grow to being 80 years old and be a ******* douche. No one deserves respect because of how many years you've spent on this planet. You earn respect based upon your character. Simple enough. Rules don't change when you get older, your view on them does.
shorty6823 28
He has rights to press charges. Not her. Those crazy grandmas these days.
wlddog 14
I would love to see this court case in front of the judge.
kakarot2 11
That's what the FML says.. HE wants to press charges
shorty6823 28
I know, I read it wrong
Westmall66 4
Your grandmas
gc327072 30
Yea, my grandmas. What about 'em?
TurquoiseJesus 15
Perhaps he wants to know where you keep your collection of grandmothers. I can fit most of them under my bed, but in retrospect, not the greatest hobby since you have to keep replacing them so often. Not like the babies in the closet.
Snowkeys 11
I'd take the grandmas side even though she's bat shit crazy. You can replace your bf but not your grandma!
LarryLaDouche 13
Do you have a Sword of Seven Grandmothers? I do and it's a bitch to haul around so I just usually leave it back at the cottage but it is a family heirloom so I feel obliged to carry it. How can I go about using it without throwing out my back??
chrisbreastr0kr 11
Always grandma. More christmas presets that route
chrisbreastr0kr 11
presents*
Serisent 26
...until she dies.
evilplatypus 38
50 - Then the will kicks in.
lambda_fml 40
including the said vase.
st333ph 12
That's just all bad. What positive reaction could you expect from your grandma?
SonOfAMitch 14
Oh... I don't know... Most people laugh at jokes or awkwardly smile but I might be completely wrong.
igive 29
Oh I don't know, maybe ask him to refrain from using crude humor in her presence? Not assault him.
kawaiisakura 12
I'd expect any reaction that DOESN'T require hitting or any violence. I'd take the boyfriends side since the grandma assaulted him with a vase
Voij 16
I'd suggest to pick neither side and tell both of them, because the grandma is in the wrong for getting violent and the boyfriend is in the wrong for telling a "joke" horrible enough to make this old woman hit him with a vase. OP should make it clear to them that the behaviour of both of them was wrong and that he/she does not condone either choice.
PuggieKid 22
Da f is up with your picture? D:
BubbleGrunge 18
Well, your boyfriend seems like an asshole for wanting to press charges, however granny didn't need to hit him over the head with a vase. Perhaps everyone can sit down and settle things like adults? Hopefully this will teach your boyfriend to keep his rude jokes to himself!
Bubbelz 25
So if I were to try to kill you with a vase, I'd get away with having a tea and talking about it? Or does that only go up for killer grannies?
Freethaawave 19
Did the vase break when it hit his hard head?
Faff 20
hopefully pressing charges will teach her grandma to control herself!
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
I want to know the joke.
slimjim8094 12
I'm sorry, but you can kill someone with a good blow to the head. I'm really getting nauseous reading all these comments about how the boyfriend deserved it
Sputnikspak 13
Depending on what the vase is made from, you're absolutely right. Crystal, or worse, stone, can do some real damage. One of those super-cheap Dollarama vases that shatter into a billion pieces if you sneeze on them, maybe not. I still wouldn't want to find out with my head. My boyfriend is smart enough not to tell dirty jokes in front of my grandmother (at least, not the one who can hear), but my grandmother would NOT even dare to bash someone on the head with a vase. Maybe throw her slipper at them in jest, but that's it. She did that to one of my brother's awful jokes. He retaliated by throwing her slipper off of the balcony so she had to go downstairs to get it. >.>
KayleeT 9
Neither of them are right in this situation. No one said you had to take a side. He shouldn't have been rude to your grandmother and she shouldn't have smashed a vase over his head because of it. Plain and simple.
Quasar55_fml 18
Telling rude jokes isn't dangerous or against the law. Breaking a vase on someone's head, on the other hand, is. It's pretty clear the grandma is in the wrong, sorry. All she could do was to tell him to shut up or kick him out if it was her house, and nothing else. Being old isn't a free "get out of assault charges" card.
Connect 10
Cool grandma! You teach those youngsters!
MelTheGreat 23
The thug life chose grandma.
Freethaawave 19
Damn kids these days!
freebirdfly 6
I wish my grandma was that badass.
mastervuk 9
What did he say?
Knightchaser27 25
Something he shouldn't have