Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
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Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
Today, I accidentally called my boss "Mom." Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
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Top comments
iamabamf 17
Could be worse. My dad just calls me "The Little Bitch."
MrClean17 15
I chuckled when I saw your username OP. It seems you've accepted your fate
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Comments (99)
iamabamf 17
Could be worse. My dad just calls me "The Little Bitch."
iBeCareless 7
My parents love me and call me my name they gave me at birth.
ThePsyche 9
Sorry.
ThePsyche 9
Edit: replied to a comment that said "H". I guess the moderators took it off, sorry.
ThePsyche 9
Edit: replied to a comment that said "H". I guess the moderators took it off, sorry.
Catkam623 27
#8 I feel so bad for you I can't believe your parents named you the little bitch. But here's my question is that like just your first name or is like little your middle and bitch your last name.
TwinChapter 15
It could be worse - for the parents. Mine got two mistakes in one pregnancy... Which totaled us kids at seven. Looking on the bright side op, at least they kept you! :)
oj101 33
Sum ting wong with dad.
PInK_ExCiTeD 7
#1 and Op I know how y'all feel. My parents call me "The not wanted"
awaydoggy 8
big hand
ririchan94 18
My father refers to me as number 5 while my mother runs through a whole list of other names before getting to mine... Even boys names
bevsta 7
Who cares?
sirpantselot 22
I apologise for threadjacking, but no ones pointed out yet that the "Chinese" fortune was written by Oscar Wilde.
hthelittleone 10
better than Ulga?
BlakesHonestLie 8
There are way worse things to be called, I can promise you that.
hamizami 3
people that disliked are all named ulga
SexySlayer1248 18
I wonder what you would call him?
Wishez 12
Dad.
Charmillionaire 13
Bad dad.
TourettesGuyFTW 25
Failure.
MrClean17 15
I chuckled when I saw your username OP. It seems you've accepted your fate
ThePsyche 9
Your attempt to catch an early comment worked. Unfortunately, it made absolutely no sense.
Mads_1234 28
Don't worry OP, just tell him you gave him a level up.
Sandman366 6
(You are 2 kids away from reaching level 3. Good luck!)
LarryLaDouche 13
You must rest and meditate on what you'be learned.
attitude_angel 15
The less you let it bother you, the sooner he'll get bored and let it go
ThePsyche 9
My parents always call me the guinea pig. They say it's because the first child is the trial and error child. /:
IxCallxBULLSHIT 9
My parents never let go of a single chance to tell me that the nurses at the hospital gave them the wrong kid probably...
rgriff27 19
So next time you mess up big time and he's nad and wants an explanation go, "oh I was just getting some experience."
rgriff27 19
It definitely makes sense, it just wasnt funny.