Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, three policemen interrogated me and asked for ID, but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, after softball practice, I could not find my car keys. Emptied my bag completely, no keys. Called a locksmith but he never showed up. Walked across the street to ask the fire department if they could help. After they got into my car, I found them. In my bag. Caught in my scorebook. The fireman just laughed. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML
Today, I showed up to an important meeting 20 minutes late, claiming I couldn't find my keys. They were in my hand the whole time, and I realized it just as I reached for the doorknob. Everyone saw me pause mid-step, staring at my hand in disbelief. FML
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Top comments
ThirstyGrunt 6
How do you.NOT deserve this ?
a1f0sff 25
That's hilarious! I would have loved to see your face when he pointed that out...
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Comments (100)
ThirstyGrunt 6
How do you.NOT deserve this ?
Eluveitie 9
The gloves are off.
bvcx222 6
Might've been skin color mitten you never know
imaginaryvoice 18
First of all, you called security because of your mittens? Hilarious. Secondly, why are you wearing mittens in the first place? Gloves are where it's at.
Roskie 16
#27 Or OP just had a retard moment. It happens.
dalink 24
Fingerless gloves. Learn from the hobos.
ShyAnn29 14
I've had that happen with my glasses, I was looking all over my room, and I was getting upset so I put my hands up to my face, it turned out that I was wearing them! So don't be embarrassed OP, it happens to the best of us.
dont_doubt_me 29
77- Have you posted an FML about that?
a1f0sff 25
That's hilarious! I would have loved to see your face when he pointed that out...
cheertrombonist 9
"This is why I love my job" I can see that being said so easily in this situation..
lulubelles 33
Or 'this is why I hate my job'.... Either could work!
mackdeezy 22
Seriously? How can you be so absent-mitten. Ive got to hand it to you, that was pretty dumb.
Pleonasm 35
...
Alexweber929 14
A for effort, were you smitten? thats handy that you were able to call at least. Damn, that ones tricky, hmm, maybe it just wasnt worth a pun
accioshannon 17
That didn't even rhyme properly!
Examine 7
You're all terrible
ManInTheMachine 19
This entire thread is disgraceful. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
False_Stupidity 41
^^ or proud of yourselves.. Disgraceful is cool
RochelleRedvines 8
Disgraceful is disgraceful.
Durdanya 13
Dear lord, the puns ... The horrible. Tasteless. PUNS!
Maxwellminpin 19
You tried...
Mideoyeo 12
Everyone makes mittakes OP! Just be more observant next time.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
I disagree. OP is just really stupid.
Herculesninja27 5
Yeah like mitt Romney lol
Ukeee_X 19
Looking for your phone whilst using it is one thing. But this? This is crazy.
dontpanic_fml 32
I agree...I really sympathize with people who are looking for their phone while using it, or looking for the glasses that are on their head, or for the pencil that's in their hand...but this seems loopy. Maybe because they went all the way to calling security (was it really that important to get the mittens then and there anyway?)
Love_sosa 10
its mind blowing huh 5
Panda_Shy_Haven 17
It's actually the same
Ukeee_X 19
It's not the same when you call security! But yes, it is a little loopy :) it's funny, but I can't imagine security found it so.
sig4life 18
It is the same, if she had a key she would've opened it up and searched for hours. Everyone has a 'blonde' moment once in a while. Most of us won't post it. But we probably should.
dontpanic_fml 32
sig4life, if she opened it up and looked for hours, that would have been on her time. It is NOT the same because most people, before getting to the point of using other people's time to assist them, will do everything in their power to resolve the issue.
hannaaaahr 33
oh well, the other day I was positive that I lost my hockeystick, until someone pointed out that it was in my hand, it happens to pretty much everyone, no worries
lifes_surprises 11
We've all done something like that. Lost my house key once because it was in my hand when i took off my glove. So don't feel bad.
Draxanoth 15
I voted FYL... Because if you're truly that stupid, your life is ******.
blackclock 3
You just brought stupid to a whole new level.
chocolateisyum 12
I'm sorry OP, but I think you really should consider going back to kindergarten. I'm not quite sure how you've coped with this low an IQ for so many years. I'm sorry.
SillyGirl4602 23
A lot of people have done something similar to this. I know many people, myself included, that thought they lost something when it was right in their hand. It does not mean they have a low IQ.
Examine 7
How does absent mindedness even correlate to IQ?
JanisEvans 10
If anything this degree of absentmindedness might indicate a rather high IQ. The brain-dead don't tend to get lost in their thoughts this much - because they don't have any. But you probably wouldn't know, #12.