Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
You are what you eat
Today, my roommate still chooses to waste his money on McDonald's food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He politely refuses to eat my nutritious home-cooked meals that people say taste amazing. Then he complains that he's in a shitty mood all the time. I wonder why… FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, after a long night of studying, my roommate and her friends decided it would be fun to throw a mini party in my room at 7am. FML
College life
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML
It's funny because it's true
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Student life
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
Dude, WTF?
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Top comments
dhall30 8
Don't worry that will soon change.
Chelsea_bella 20
Life sucks and then you die.
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Comments (107)
dhall30 8
Don't worry that will soon change.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I believe it's all about your mind frame! Stay positive and happy and good things will follow
AKGirlinSD 20
One day it won't be like that for her anymore. It happened to both of my sisters, whom both ate junk food 24/7, never worked out, and truly believed they would have their bodies like that forever. OP, all your hard work will pay off.
yahoowizard 16
Yeah don't worry there's no way she can keep her success up.
Onmyzephyr 5
And soon she will find a hot, rich husband and you'll have a couple more things to add to the list. Sorry OP.
Laurenlou 24
OP, you know you work hard, and truly that is what counts. She'll be no where in the long run and you'll be way better off. (and skinny and rich!) Seriously though, grades don't matter. It's what you apply the knowledge that you have gained to, but keep studying! The more you know, the more you can apply the knowledge to a job!
UsernameHere234 13
Grades are extremely important. Though it depends what you want to do with your life. For me I am applying for vet school so obviously marks are super important or you'll never get your baby toe nail in the door
UsernameHere234 13
However that also being said there are better ways of getting marks than studying constantly. Stupid anti-flood protection making me wait so long to post this while I want to sleep lol.
superpoptart 24
23- yup! My sis had a tiny waist for the longest time and would eat McDonalds everyday but she's thicker now :p
TheDrifter 23
It seems to me that the shut in, hard studying sorts are the ones that most often snap once out of school, and try to make up for lost time. The three most studious girls from my graduating class are all now single mothers, trying to catch their careers up to speed after a string of questionable choices made in an effort to enjoy the life they missed. Get out a little OP, it will help you relax, and a happy brain has more active memory receptors than a stressed one.
william8691 10
Wow! She must give great blow jobs!
poccocurantes 7
Keep working very hard. Then make lots of money. Then go on revolving diet plans, liposuction, expensive spas, starve yourself, scarf and barf, supplement your tortured soul with antidepressants. Or get over it.
shannonreneee 11
There are always going to be people who are better than you in all aspects, it's life. Instead of focussing on what seems like an easy life your roommate has, focus on yourself.
AninOnin 24
Don't worry. Maybe someday soon she'll be fat, failing, and out of a job. Then you can feel so much better :D [/sarcasm]
The_F3rris 11
Drinking and eating like that daily spells disaster down the road.
v1kt4r 13
I don't see how when she still gets better grades than her. Some ppl do get to just skate through life hustle free, such is life
TacoBelle 8
@35, then the husband will leave her for his hot, young receptionist because his wife "let herself go" by sticking to the 3 Big Mac, no gym diet.
Chelsea_bella 20
Life sucks and then you die.
OhzTP 7
Only if people make it suck by reusing old phrases.
defferwa 9
Life's a piece of shit, When you look at it
Zakirsd_fml 5
This is so beautiful :')
miniluda12 12
Quoting Breaking Dawn?
kakarot2 11
Probably an art major... Don't worry too much OP.
DawnShadow_fml 5
I've heard this quote but cannot think of where it's from, help?
Jordath_Fil 11
54 is from Life of Brian!!! Yeah Monty Python!
thrashtildeath 9
lifes a bitch and then you die.
AllThatHit 7
So f--- it all and let's get high
Charmillionaire 13
Maybe you should start doing what she does.
sens3sfailing 24
Doing the same thing does not work for everyone. My best friend at college who is also studying to be an engineer, has a job while I don't and we have all of the same classes and he got a much better gpa than me even though I worked my ass off to try and do good. He is just naturally gifted at it. Calculus 2 just made more sense to him and he had to work less at it than I did to get grades much better than mine. Not every bodies mind works the same way and you can't just copy someone successful to find your own path of success.
CharresBarkrey 15
36 - Pretty sure they were joking.
sens3sfailing 24
I know, it was still bringing up the topic I discussed. I didn't thumb them down or anything, just stating my feelings on the topic
XxDevilxXGt 26
Heh... I might be your roomate. But I don't dorm. I stay at home on my computer being lazy as hell, not even trying and learning to be an engineer. I'm sure things will get harder and I'll have to actually put in effort. I find it hard to believe someone is getting drunk every day and gets better grades than Op, unless OP's grades aren't good at all, maybe less than a C. Your studying methods aren't working, so try to relax a little more and don't wait for it to work itself out, go do something. Just remember, things aren't as complicated as they seem, don't think too hard.
florido_fml 10
Dont hate
jdm_powered 6
participate.
pieman528 10
'cause it's all just the way of fate.
nycwrestler 17
I was gonna say that but I'm late :(
Zakirsd_fml 5
Its because she lacks those traits.
CrazyChickens721 5
Maybe what you need is a fulfilled mind. It seems to help her so I guess you just need to go out a few times. :) p.s screw her life, she's going to have a major hangover!
etchsanity1 11
Meh high metabolism like that she may not have much of a hang over at all really just depends
Potato_Pi 7
It will all pay off eventually
Ffuuu 10
I'm pretty sure you'll be rewarded for this one time or another.
lissa_jade 22
yeah, well. you can only be the pretty party girl for so long, then you gotta grow up. be relieved that you at least have your crap together (:
looney_mc 4
**** school it's for dumb ass anyways
MetallicaFTW 16
Clearly you'd know.
AbstraktThoughts 13
106 - says the idiot whose day job probably consists of holding a sign on a street corner that says, "Will work for food."
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I'm one of those lucky assholes who can eat pizza and burgers and do nothing and have a 4.0 and weigh 94 pounds. But I have acne and I'm 4 feet, 11 inches tall. Trust me, OP, we don't have everything. :(
CharresBarkrey 15
You're 18. Of course you have acne. And 94 pounds on anyone taller than 4'11" would make them look sick. I'm sure you look proportional to your height.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I don't understand all the thumb-downs :( If it sounds like I'm bragging or something, I'm not. I was just trying to say that for every good thing a person has, they probably have something worse. Acne may not sound so bad, but you haven't seen my face. It's bad. If my comment sounded stupid, then sorry, but I was being genuine with my comparison.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
24, I've had acne since I was 10 years old. The scarring is horrible. You'd have to see my face to understand. They're not minor breakouts. My dad used to call me "corn" because my face was so bumpy that I looked like a cob of corn. About my height... well that wasn't that great of a negative. Of course it does suck to go pick up your little sister from elementary school and see a 6th grader taller than you, but I should've used something else as a comparison.
SelenaMilkshake 17
I swear you just described myself.
perfectbride14 7
Hey I don't know why people thumbed you down. I do get your point here. Sometimes it seems that someone has a perfect life and we envy them. But, we have no idea what he/she is going through!!
Dory123 9
Dude, were talking OP's life problems, not yours. Publish your own FML.
dwc2134 5
Accutane works WONDERS. Expensive as hell, but I had horrible acne from middle school well into high school (deep purple, horribly painful, lots of scaring). Six months of accutane when I was sixteen and I haven't had more than one or two random zits at a time in almost four years. It was a godsend.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
45, I really wanted to try it, but my doctor didn't allow it because my family has a history of diabetes. So I am stuck with antibiotics and various creams. I'm not "corn-face" anymore, but the scars are enough to make me want to hide my face anyway. Thanks for the tip though. I'm glad it worked out for you. :)
Hluveradi 10
Nobody cares!
zombieslayer83 19
I have horrific scaring from acne my self. It used to bother me real bad, but eventually I said screw it. Its just part of who I am. Plus I have one advantage, I grew a beard. It may be a jaded view, but I don't care if a girl has scares, its the girl that matters.
hornyunicorny 2
I used to have really bad acne and scarring as well. My dr. put me on birth control and it cleared up super fast! And all my scarring has faded. I love my face and skin now. So just wait, it'll get better!
Laurenlou 24
45- Accutane doesn't work for everyone. I've had acne since I was 10. Very bad breakouts and very bad scaring. (Side note: Kids at school use to call me "mountain face." It was horrible.) They tried every other antibiotic and then put me on Accutane. After 6 months, my face had cleared pretty well, but not completely. 2 years later and my acne is back almost as bad as it use to be in middle school. It doesn't work for everyone, but it's definitely worth the money if it does work.
ejr07 2
aww poor baby, acne and height issues. some people have worse problems that appearence.
SailorSTFU 15
It could be worse. Don't let it get to you, no one can party forever.
sens3sfailing 24
Please tell this to Paris Hilton. What an entitled little idiot that bitch is.
razzberry 9
Exactly. No one can keep up that lifestyle forever. It is just aggravating that the hard work OP puts forth doesn't show right now. OP no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Also, try going out and enjoying yourself more often. Not every night mind you, but total lack of "play time" is not good for you either.