"So are you saying you prefer males to females?!?!?! Wait a second... oh, now it makes sense! No wonder you left mom; you don't like women! Well I wish you and your life partner the best of luck. Remember, you have to go to Massachusetts to get married!"
If your dad is a homophobe, which I bet he is, then this should work. BTW sorry if I forgot that gays can get married in Connecticut (if they can). I don't follow East Coast news.