Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35183) - you totally deserved it (2093)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Haha nice joke, if only I could see any win.
What a lame girlfriend.
#9 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:44am by PumpkinTarte
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
What's up with the French and their odd obssession with girls farting?
You sick French!
#79 - On 09/30/2009 at 5:03pm by J3553ROCKS
I've been quite depressed lately, I'm not going to lie.
This FML made me laugh for 10 minutes straight.
Thank you, OP.
#101 - On 10/01/2009 at 2:52am by PaulWeller
cry stench and let loose the dogs of war!!!! but seriously ouchies... hope ur okay and your gf aplogized... she didnt mean to hurt u and it was prolly a reflex and she was surprised..
#4 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:36am by moon_mistress
lol, Ceaser. I take it Gassius and Booty-us were there, too?
Also... How the hell is punching someone in the face a reflex to your own farting? I would hate to be around you at a gassy time.
#5 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:40am by allmidnighteyes
i meant as a shock reflex or something.. wrong time wrong action, wrong limb.. sorta like that she was prolly disoriented ;)
#6 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:41am by moon_mistress
Yeah, disoriented by the perfuming odor of her gassy release.
I'm sure it smelled like freshly picked roses and bubble bath =]
#7 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:42am by allmidnighteyes
lol not quite what i had in mind and as for the bf.. well time to start exploring new exotic fetishes... :D
#8 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:44am by moon_mistress
The exploration of new fetishes isn't what I'm perturbed by.
What scares me most is the question, "What if she farts during anal?"
#11 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:47am by allmidnighteyes
hopefully her reflexes are sexual if it happens during anal
#64 - On 09/30/2009 at 1:50pm by virgingrace
at least during anal she would most likely be facing the other way and punch a pillow or something. I would be more worried if she farted during fellatio... don't even like to think of where the punch "reflex" leads then.
#68 - On 09/30/2009 at 2:21pm by lets_be_ian
If she farted during anal, wouldn't it explode his penis.?? LMAO.
#87 - On 09/30/2009 at 6:55pm by XHakudatsuX
LOL, WTF?! Is it even POSSIBLE to fart during sex??!!!! BHAHAHA
#140 - On 11/06/2009 at 6:04am by SiLvEr_070
ahh the answer my friend... is blowing innnn the wiiiiiinnnnnnndddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd just dont sniff too deeply O.o
#13 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:47am by moon_mistress
XD then make a pooty booty call symphonyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
#14 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:49am by moon_mistress
Definitely a win.
Everyone farts, so it's not a FYL there.
But being punched by your girlfriend whom was woken up by her own fart, that's a FYL.
I've never been woken up by my own fart.
#15 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:51am by LemursonTuesday
I've woken myself up from a sneeze, a cough, swearing in my sleep (wtf?) and even snoring momentarily, but never in my life have I woken up from breaking wind.
Okay that's hilarious!
I once pushed all the stuff off my end table (including my laptop) as I woke up violently from a dream, and once kicked a boyfriend in the spine.
#17 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:55am by DuchessAngel37
THAT is funny! Sux that you got punched in the face though! I'm still laughing!!
#18 - On 09/30/2009 at 4:02am by hqwoody327
ROFL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh geez, that's a good one!!! haha........U weren't serious were u?
#135 - On 11/01/2009 at 5:51am by SiLvEr_070
21, wtheck??? cmon sodomy??? really. r u serious? cmon VV'''
#23 - On 09/30/2009 at 4:16am by moon_mistress
Bwaaaaahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
just when you think the good ones are gone you get a little nugget like this.
Wellinever, you're an idiot. It says nothing about his face being near her fart. All it says is he got punched in the face. You don't have to be near someone's butt to get punched in the face. Moron.
#34 - On 09/30/2009 at 5:30am by The_Disturbed
He said her fart woke her and she lashed out. Natural reaction would be to strike where the perceived threat was and his face was in the way. Moron yourself The_Disturbed.
#42 - On 09/30/2009 at 8:07am by wellinever
He could have been kissing her cute ass, or.. she woke due to the strong force of her fart and lashed out at the nearest face/person/object: his face.
XD
Wellinever,
When you wake up in a fright, you are dazed, so natural reaction is to strike at the nearest potential for danger. Her boyfriend was the closest thing she could hit, since nothing was actually by her butt.
Since I have never in my life been scared enough by a fart to feel like defending myself (defending my olfactory perhaps) but not my person. Therefore I can assume the attack was not directed towards the perceived threat of a fart, but just something that startled her. I would safely assume that the proximity of ass to face has little to do with the fact that he got punched... unless she as an arm growing from her ass, or her fart are so bad they actually have fists.
#70 - On 09/30/2009 at 2:25pm by lets_be_ian
LOL! Its FMLs like these that make me keep reading them all lol! That sucks for you but its so freakin hilarious lol!
#35 - On 09/30/2009 at 5:44am by Dreamworld
Hahaha, my sister wakes herself up with her own farts all the time.
I'm sorry you got punched in the face, but seriously, this is hilarious.
#39 - On 09/30/2009 at 7:04am by AndelleRae
Omg! I am sorry for you OP but this is funny!! I am still laughing and I have read all the comments! Priceless!
#49 - On 09/30/2009 at 10:07am by Playdate
i actually laffed ahaaha you have a stupid girlfriend :L no offence :]]
#54 - On 09/30/2009 at 10:26am by sammy6597
How is she stupid? lol
Btw..dude....I spit my soda out at this......
#80 - On 09/30/2009 at 5:06pm by shmexyfooker
I'm not so sure I believe this FML. If you were sleeping and she was, neither of you would have known it was her fart that woke her up. If you were awake, there's no reason you shouldn't have been able to avoid getting hit.
#58 - On 09/30/2009 at 12:05pm by TheTruth1428
maybe it was loud enough to wake both of them up and but only the girlfriend reacted that way?
#61 - On 09/30/2009 at 12:37pm by sadistmonkey
lmao fucking owned! roll with the punch, in case she "wakes up" again in the future.
#59 - On 09/30/2009 at 12:06pm by texxxasissouth
Haha I read all your comments you bunch of motherfuckers :P I admit, I've been epically owned.
#58 Imagine you're quietly stroking your sweet girlfriend while she's sleeping as the gentle guy you are. Then all of a sudden, She release the most strong and powerful gas you've never heard, the kind of fart that makes the mattress quake. You never imagined such a cute thing could produce such a monstrosity. She wakes up, panicked, and punches you straight in the face before you could even laugh.
Sad but true. I think the real FML's are often considered as fakes as it describes an uncommon situation, but hey what do you expect? You would never have thought it would happen in your life and one day BAM! FYL! You can't do anything but post it, and that's those FML's which are generally the funniests. :)
This is some of the funniest shit I have heard in a long time.
I suppose safe sex between the OP and his GF includes the condom for the act and a close pin for your nose and protective head gear for the after cuddle. good luck man, and god bless.
#71 - On 09/30/2009 at 2:34pm by lets_be_ian
Now THAT is funny. :]
Maybe some ambien would help.
#72 - On 09/30/2009 at 2:40pm by oystercultviking
That's just hilarious.
Don't worry though, the breeze will sooth the pain.
#73 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:01pm by Witchcraft
This made me lol....not just saying that.
I am in a computer lab and I actually laughed out loud a bit.
How juvanile of me.
It's been a while since an FML made me laugh. Nice one. XD
#76 - On 09/30/2009 at 4:44pm by justjayit
OMFG
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Thank you for getting iced tea all over my laptop screen hahaha
this just made my day!
I agree, that's just fricken hilarious..sucks for your face though
#94 - On 09/30/2009 at 10:14pm by itsover_9000
You're lucky to have such a caring girlfriend. I mean, she attempted to break your nose just so you wouldn't have to smell her fart! Talk about going the extra mile.
Lol, omg that still has me laughing and probably will for a while!
#97 - On 10/01/2009 at 1:13am by briiittxxhc
OMFG!! that's prolly the funniest damn thing ive ever heard! sux 2 be u, but DAMN that's funny
#98 - On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am by Gruffy
Ha! Hilarious! I woke myself up with the SMELL of a SILENT fart once. Watch out for that Chicken Masala/Curried Lamb plate-- it gets me every time.
#107 - On 10/01/2009 at 7:01am by TheIrishJaneDoe
get her back----STEP ONE--EAT LOTS OF BEANS.BURRETOS ECT.STEP 2 ---CONVINCE HER TO GIVE U SOME BRAINS---STEP 3---CROP DUST HER FACE JUST AS YOUR SPOUTING OFF... STEP 4 PULL OUT AND RUN LIKE HELL...... LOL
#114 - On 10/01/2009 at 10:02pm by Zero198209
YDI. You shouldn't be sleeping with girls unless you're married first. You shouldn't have even been in the same bed.
Nice #96! this FML is my fav for sure!!! I too have startled myself awake with an earth shaddering kaboom lol can't stop laughing!!!
#120 - On 10/02/2009 at 4:10am by kristabelle
LMAO! AWESOME! That will keep me laughing for days!
#121 - On 10/02/2009 at 9:43pm by guy_on_the_couch
This is, golden!
Made me crack the fuck up when I read it. XD
I imagined it in my head a good 40 times
#123 - On 10/03/2009 at 2:41am by BAMxMikey7
that's quite an idea for an alarm clock you got there!
#128 - On 10/06/2009 at 12:00pm by Mr_schadenfreude
Thanks to this FML, I now know that prolonged laughing without breathing causes me to produce successive high pitched squeaks while my right eye scrunches up very tightly.
I hope you two are still laughing about this one... it reminds me of a particular incident that I just may submit now.
hahaha. I just about died laughing after I read that.
#141 - On 12/30/2009 at 2:25am by sillychilegirl
