Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. In my depressive state, I changed my Facebook status to the Blue October lyrics "Hate me today, Hate me tomorrow, Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, "Liked" this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33888) - you totally deserved it (12977)
On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)
(-1)YDI YDI YDI YDI YDI YDI
1. For listening to terrible, terrible music.
2. For wallowing in self-pity on facebook.
You sound so incredibly lame. Your poor ex girlfriend.
(-1)Oh man that must have made it worse. If she dumped u then she should just leave u alone instead of insulting you. I hate when exes do that. It's like u broke my heart so why do u need to make it worse on me. I feel for u :(
#96 - On 08/11/2009 at 2:59pm by wowthanks123
(+2)Dude - Terrible music??!?
Blue October is the BEST BAND EVER!!!!
(but yeah, that is realllllly self-pitying)
#103 - On 08/11/2009 at 4:03pm by BeanieBaby
You deserve to get punched in the face. Blue October is a great band. Dumbass.
#111 - On 08/11/2009 at 5:32pm by jennayyydoll
(+1)...You can't Like comments on Facebook, you can Like statuses though, which is what the OP meant. Duh
(+1)I LOVE BLUE OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'VE GOT TICKETS TO SEE THEM ON OCTOBER THIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BE JEALOUS!! haha.
#145 - On 08/12/2009 at 3:33am by TeapotOfKarma
(-1)Yes you CAN like comments? Or do you mean comments to the status message? Coz that you def CANT Like.
I'll just correct this like everyone else is. You CANNOT "like" comments to a status, just the original status. Morons. If that is what the OP meant then he should have posted it like that. Now it just seems fake and made up.
#154 - On 08/12/2009 at 9:08am by wilshires1
(+1)YDI for having your mom as a friend on facebook, and for setting music lyrics as your status.
#164 - On 08/12/2009 at 4:08pm by Grndslmhttr3
(+1)I agree with #81. Going onto Facebook and wallowing in your status is pathetic.
But your ex is hilarious.
(-4)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
No he didn't. Maybe if his ex would have communicated during sex she could have gotten an orgasm. I fucking hate how girls just expect mind-blowing sex without wanting to work for it. Lying on the bed like a dead fish isn't going to be something that always makes you have an orgasm.
#7 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:16am by genius_man16
(+8)Way to assume.
For all you know, she gave him instructions, books, incentive, and everything else to help him give her an orgasm and he just failed.
That, or it may have been a case where she just used the opportunity to insult him, regardless of how truthful the insult was.
#13 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:18am by Intoxicunt
(+5)Agreed.
Wah wah wah my girlfriend dumped me and now it's time to be an emo twat for the whole of facebook to see. You might as well have just posted: "lyk plzz comment my status and leave commentsssssss saying how awsum i am so i kan feel better about my sad pathetic life"
Oh but your girlfriend sounds awesome. Props to her for dumping your sorry ass.
#69 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:54am by nickyzinks
(+3)7, 13, and 69 all make valid points, in my opinion.
He said it was a horrible break up - maybe he WAS trying to please her, but couldn't because she wouldn't communicate? Or maybe just in general he just couldn't get it, help or no help.
Or, maybe she was being a bitch and was lying, a low-blow.
Also, of course for whining on the Internet about it, that's a pretty twat thing to do, he deserves it for expecting sympathy. Too many people go "I'M A BAD PERSON" and expect people to say the opposite and cheer them up. Just say "I feel bad, cheer me up?" to some friends, jeez.
#75 - On 08/11/2009 at 12:26pm by DameGreyWulf
(-1)shes a bitch. ok fine break up with him. but you dont have to be a bitch to him afterwards.
#153 - On 08/12/2009 at 9:07am by Plumppotato
(-1)i like how an FML can cause so much debate about a man's ability to please his sexual partners haha
why are you people interested in a strangers sex life,
i bet the OPs reyt embarassed, the poor sod
or is this how you guys get your jollies?? err.
#188 - On 11/03/2009 at 3:50pm by jadetothes
(0)Not being able to satisfy a woman is surely one of the worts things ever for a man... you'll have to 'practice' more if you want to not let such things happen again...
#3 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:12am by fenrisulfr
(0)YDI for knowing Blue October lyrics in the first place.
#4 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:13am by MaramaBreaksFace
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
a girl trolling, well thats a first :P
(+2)Saw Blue October in concert (D-Fest, i didn't go for them). After Seeing them, I have to say OP deserves it...
#77 - On 08/11/2009 at 12:33pm by cpatrick820
(0)Facebook? Song lyrics? This is barely acceptable if you're twelve.
#9 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:17am by fnool
(-2)i don't think he expected that his ex would reply to that fb status. she stayed with you for 2 years and NOW she broke up with you because you couldn't pleasure her? that sounds like such bs. she's a bitch. be happy that she's your ex.
#10 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:18am by Sunako
(+2)It never said she broke up with him cause of that. It could have been for different reasons. She's just adding insult to injury on Facebook. Which is pretty funny, if you ask me. :x
#16 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:20am by IreadFMLnaked
(+1)but even if she's doing it to add insult to injury, he is still better off, because she has got to be a royal bitch to do that - assuming that he wasn't an asshole to her prior.
#143 - On 08/12/2009 at 2:30am by BLNovelist
(-4)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Aw. I'm sorry. Thats horrible! :( Your Ex is a bitch and you deserve better. And as for your friends. Well they can go f them selves. Who like that kind of status.
#12 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:18am by angryseatroll
(0)Do you swear in your status updates regularly? Do you post about all the parties you go to and get wasted and have drunken sex? Do you then post pictures of said wild party?
I doubt it.
#45 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:05am by genius_man16
(+1)Ya, why not?
My Mom's not seven, she's been there before. Your parents would have to be complete morons to think that EVERYONE else in the world goes to parties and swears EXCEPT their child. Just because your parents are your parents doesn't make them ignorant.
I love that my Mom's on Facebook. I'm so proud! lol
#54 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:23am by rayrayy
(+1)It's not that they think that their kid is some social outcast who can't go to wild parties, but generally it's against the rules to do so. Which was more my point.
#57 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:28am by genius_man16
(+1)Not, a big deal if your honest with your parents, my parent's can't see my photo's but i flat out tell them what happened
(+1)I don't swear in my status updates regularly. I am in pictures, that are posted, of wild parties, where I am beyond hammered.
But do you post pictures of drunken sex and then post them on facebook? If you do, then that's a bit of a fail.
P.S. I'm friends with both of my parents.
(+1)YDI for using a facebook status to express your feelings. YDI twice over for expressing those feelings through song lyrics.
Everything on facebook is public - if you can complain about your breakup and relationship pubicly, she can too.
(+2)God, you people assume a LOT from these posts.
Who on earth said that was ALL she cared about?
Either a) it was the funniest thing she could think of. Much better than "Like make me feel good about myself?"
Or b) it was ONE of the problems.
For all you know, she was in love with him and would've given up sex forever for him, but then he decided to cheat on her.
So she insulted him on Facebook.
#20 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:24am by Intoxicunt
(+2)Jeeze, calm down. All we CAN do is assume from these posts.
#24 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:36am by genius_man16
(+1)You're right.
Except maybe every other guy was able to give her one with the same sex act he was trying.
That, or maybe he really didn't try very hard.
Although, I'm assuming she just said that because it was the most offensive thing to say.
#27 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:38am by Intoxicunt
(+1)You edited your post after I put my reply.
And I ran out of time to change it.
Anyway, it should say:
First of all, I'm calm. Another wrong assumption on your part.
Second of all, of course you assume things from these posts.
Apparently I need to spell out my point further:
I don't think it's right to make up an entire story with characters and setting based on a couple sentences, then use that story you made up to say someone in the situation "is an asshole", "deserved it", etc.
#31 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:42am by Intoxicunt
(+1)lol, well then you're in the wrooong place. But you are right about making someone the bad guy over a few sentences. My rant was more directed at women who complain about orgasms but don't work for them in general. I could have worded it better but meh, it's the morning.
#47 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:08am by genius_man16
(+1)Rule is that you delete the ex from FB before commenting. So chances are that you wanted her to see it? So YDI. On the other hand, sowi dude, you don't deserve that!
#18 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:21am by tWitt3rBuG
(-1)LMAO. YDI for being emo on facebook. and yes, you totally walked into it.
#22 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:30am by jollysnowman
(0)YDI for having your mom as a facebook friend. That really sucks though...
#21 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:29am by iloveblackshirt6
(-1)YDI for being depressed. Suck it up and go get some rebounds pussy!
#26 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:36am by avalanche719
(-2)You deserved it, there is nothing more irritating than when people post emo text on their FB, MSN, DA, W/E
#33 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:47am by Aliien
(-2)i hate facebook FMLs. YDI for not lying and said it happened in real life
#37 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:54am by joshizzle3
(+2)You can't "like" a comment of a comment, you can only like the original comment. So to add that last part to your story is deliberately misleading. Plus you sound like a whiny bitch anyway.
#38 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:54am by Flounder
(+2)Now that you an Becky broke up, do you mind if I ask her out?
#41 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:01am by linksplayer
(-1)Your private life does not belong on facebook. YDI.
Also, song lyrics as your status? What are you, 15?
(-2)YDI for being one of those emos that posts lyrics as your status. STFU with the lyrics people!
#43 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:03am by Ub3r_Crippl3
(+1)There's no better sound than a girl having a screaming orgasm while ur poundin' her with some good cock. The kind that leaves her right leg twitchin' when ur done. But dude, there's no reason u can't give a girl an orgasm with at least ur hands. I met a girl a few years ago who was 23 and had never had one, and even said her ex had a huge cock, and I told her I could give her one. She came over and I gave her one in less than 2 minutes with just my fingers, we never had sex. To this day she thanks me when she sees me cuz now she can have them. Be in tune with the moment, don't treat it as something strictly physical, put urself in her mindstate and think "what would I love right now" and do that. It's not just her body ur giving an orgasm, it's her mind, body and soul, treat it that way, be in the moment, focus, and u will achieve it...
#44 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:05am by FlaminYawn
(0)you are a god amongst men. you are a god amongst gods. you are my hero. i plead my allegiance to you. guide me in the way of finger banging.
but seriously. thats kind of impressive.
#158 - On 08/12/2009 at 9:18am by Plumppotato
(+2)I love Blue October, but I don't think you should quote from songs as your FB status or whatever other websites. You're upset, I get that, but what you should be doing is coping with this in a better way. Showing your emotions on the internet is usually asking for trouble. Your friends didn't act very nice though and neither did your ex but that's not your problem.
OP, I really hope you feel better soon.
#48 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:08am by Music_rocks
(-5)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Women have orgasms? Who knew? Who cares?
#52 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:17am by gargoyle666
(0)Because of course expressing an opinion is classed as trolling.
#166 - On 08/12/2009 at 5:23pm by gargoyle666
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
wow what a bitch. good thing you broke up with her
bitch
(+1)Lyric statuses are only ok if they have nothing to do with what you are feeling/are amusing. Emo ones are just irritating as fuck.
#56 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:27am by cherlana32
(-1)Your girlfriend is probably just a bitch.
Sorry kid.
#62 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:34am by woah_dang_baby
(+1)YDI. grow up dude !! if there's something any woman can say to make us feel bad is That we suck on bed. if you thought your FB status would get her back your such an Idiot. good luck next time. Block her from your FB right away, it's just gonna get worse...
#63 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:34am by SDguy
(-5)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Respond with this joke.
Q. How long does it take for a woman to orgasam?
A. Who cares?
#64 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:36am by intrepid00
(+2)Again, if you include the term "Facebook" in any part of your FML, I am 99% certain that you deserved what happened.
The oversharing that occurs daily on Facebook is so completely inappropriate - parents, siblings, extended family, friends, lovers, frenemies, people you haven't spoken to or given a shit about in years - all coming together to feed on the information you post...it's gross and YDI you fucking tool!
#65 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:40am by skullbuster
(+1)I'm surprised nobody has brought up that when you "like" someone's status, it doesn't mean you like the comments. Maybe your mom was actually cheering you on. You can't "like" a comment.
(+4)Ironically enough, those lyrics were actually written by the singer FOR his mom, not about some girlfriend. He was apologizing to his mom for being a screwup, and now your mom known you're a screwup too... Oh it works on so many levels :)
(0)YDI for whining on Facebook, adding your mom on Facebook, and sucking in bed.
#70 - On 08/11/2009 at 12:02pm by deaditegirl
(+1)You don't deserve it.
Horrible breakups are so hard.
#73 - On 08/11/2009 at 12:16pm by HumansSuck
(-2)Dude... Let this be a lesson to not post your innermost feelings on facebook. I say FYL for the public humiliation, but also YDI for posting freaking Blue October lyrics. That's bordering on beyond pathetic.
#74 - On 08/11/2009 at 12:17pm by chels070809
(0)YDI for posting depressing lyrics as your Facebook status. You should be relieved that your ex commented on it. She may have actually redeemed your status.
#78 - On 08/11/2009 at 12:34pm by roks_out_loud
(-1)YDI for liking Blue October and being a Facebook self pitier...feel sorry for yourself at home alone away from the computer...don't try to make other people care
#79 - On 08/11/2009 at 12:40pm by crashTRAGIC
(0)Your girlfriend is awesome.
YDI for not getting her off...it isn't THAT hard.
YDI for wallowing, too.
This is probably EXACTLY THE REASON she broke up with you.
As for your Mom, well, I really don't know...
(-1)YDI it for 1) using facebook to whine and 2) being awful in bed. Seriously, read a website or something, it's not that difficult to make 99% of girls cum (the other 1% might have a medical problem).
#85 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:26pm by SirAwesome
(-1)ydi for using bad song lyrics to express your feelings on failbook.
#86 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:30pm by Nightfallz
(+1)HAHAHAHA well at least now you know why it did not work out between you two...
#89 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:44pm by hayride1987
(0)lmaoo YDI for listening to jock rock and then posting it on your facebook... if you're gonna use lyrics try to make them deep...
also, clitoral stimulation often helps. don't be afraid to use your hands.
(-1)YDI, like a lot of people are saying, for listening to the worst music.
lame.
#97 - On 08/11/2009 at 3:01pm by ogiantmanz
(+1)HAHAHAHAHA! that's hilarious, but i am sorry for her breaking up with you. Lol
#100 - On 08/11/2009 at 3:37pm by bffsaslut2
(-1)YDI for publishing your personal emotions on a medium you share with the whole world, including your parents.
YDI for not considering something might go wrong.
YDI for not giving her an O.
(-2)This is what all emo pricks deserve. Good show by your (obviously tasteful and worldly) Mom.
#107 - On 08/11/2009 at 4:35pm by cossackkid01
(+1)HAHAHAHA for all the things you didnt do for her. i get it. this is going in my faves
#109 - On 08/11/2009 at 5:16pm by secretsxsecrets
WOW. Your ex is a BITCH. You are better off with out her. If a girl is going to be that cruel right after she breaks up with someone, then she doesn't deserve happiness. Damn.
#110 - On 08/11/2009 at 5:30pm by jennayyydoll
(+2)Um. No offence, but YDI a lot. Posting whiny and self-pitying lines on FACEBOOK, of all places???
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
YDI for listening to Blue October and not being embarrassed by it!
(+1)#114 - There are plenty of people who are proud to call themselves fans of that amazing band; myself included.
(0)ironically i heard "Hate Me" for the 1st time eva dis past monday and i love it. it reminds sum (as well as me) of when in New Moon Edward leaves Bella. how funny i wuld c it in a FML....lmao
#116 - On 08/11/2009 at 6:19pm by FML_IS_FUNNY
(+1)I feel that if you're going to broadcast your misery in an emo way on facebook, you really deserve what's coming to you.
You can't "like" a comment made to a status. You can only like the original status.
#118 - On 08/11/2009 at 6:27pm by wilshires1
(+1)I hope someone screencapped it. If its not on Lamebook within the week, I'll be very disappointed.
(+1)That's so awesome.
Maybe you should keep your private life a little more private next time.
#123 - On 08/11/2009 at 8:30pm by GriefBacon
(+1)So your mom and four friends "liked" your status? Maybe they enjoy the song. The way you put it made it seem as if they "liked" the comment your ex made, when they can't actually do that.
This was an FML without the misleading bit on the end, but YDI for posting lyrics as your status.
#125 - On 08/11/2009 at 9:15pm by star_ver
(-1)YDI SO HARD. Actually make an effort to please your girlfriend, you selfish prick.
#127 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:40pm by MagicMarker
(-1)YDI for being friends with your mom on facebook and for being an emo little homo
#128 - On 08/11/2009 at 10:59pm by luvs2splooge42
(-1)PWNED!!
Eeheheeee, what your ex did sounds like something I would do xD
So, from experience, YDI selfish liddo twat :|
(+1)That's lame. I put quotes as my status sometimes...they're uplifting quotes, but I think the OP should feel free to express himself any way he feels.
#136 - On 08/12/2009 at 12:15am by cherry_blossom
(+3)What's wrong wit puttin lyrics as ya Facebook status....I currently have Blue October's "Blue Skies" lyrics as my status......
..."Blue skies. Calling on blue skies. Don't take them away boys. Don't take them away. 'Cause I'll never stop. Lovin' my..."...
#133 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:41pm by FML_IS_FUNNY
(-1)and thats why you have no friends and your self esteem is low :)
#168 - On 08/13/2009 at 4:04pm by Unregistered
(+1)That's why facebook sucks and you shouldn't use it. especially not to express yourself when you're depressed. XD
And maybe your mom liked it for the lyrics before your ex-girlfriend commented.\
Delete it and block her because she sucks and seems to be a frigid bitch.
#135 - On 08/12/2009 at 12:08am by foryoublue94
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
this is what happens to blue october fans
#137 - On 08/12/2009 at 12:36am by explodingpupppet
(+1)lamenting your somewhat epic breakup on facebook via song lyric is not only emo, but it's sad too.
#149 - On 08/12/2009 at 4:50am by stardust1035
(+1)Rofl!!!
wow. i feel for you, because you managed to lose a girl whos got such a great sense of humor... :L:L:L
my ribs were actually hurting after laughing so hardd XD
#151 - On 08/12/2009 at 6:52am by adamABNORMAL
(+1)If she never told you, she can't talk shit. Communication.
Delete the comment from your wall, and post something sarcastic about communication if it's the case.
(0)This is what you get for being a drama queen.
Wake the fuck up and suck it up - this is reality.
You obviously know you have ur ex on Facebook, you obviously know her and other ppl have a high possibility of seeing it and figuring it out what it's all about; why post it when it won't change anything?
You tried to get ppl to sympathize with you and possibly resulting in bashin on your ex, instead it backfired and even ur mom decided to side with her. YDI, you attention whore. Future advice:Next time if you're gonna be emo, don't let the whole of facebook know, or at least do it in a private note or a public note that can't be commented on.
#159 - On 08/12/2009 at 9:27am by YouGotPwnt
(+1)OP, need some aloe for that burn? YDI for being a self pitying attention whore
#161 - On 08/12/2009 at 2:36pm by magichateball
(-1)YDI for not being able to get her off after two years u should be able to figure it out at least once.
also, i'm going to have to confiscate your man card for not being able to pleasure your woman and for posting an emo status update.
(-2)YDI for posting Blue October lyrics. Get better taste in music.
#172 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:00pm by Fred_Burroughs
(+1)Oh and I'm fairly certain that you can only click "like" on the original post, not the posts that come after. So more than likely your Mom was clicking "like" on your song lyrics, not your ex's post.
#173 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:03pm by Fred_Burroughs
(+1)Honestly i think your ex has a great sense of humor. I feel for you cause of the break up and all but that's really funny. Take solstice in the fact that she admitted to you that she didn't have to fake an orgasm.
Don't take things like that so seriously, you kinda left yourself open for it
#174 - On 08/18/2009 at 2:05am by theUnnamed
(+1)You can only like original posts.
and that's a pretty fine comeback, you've got to admit.
tbh, ydi for posting that on facebook.
#178 - On 08/23/2009 at 5:21pm by kinkyboots
(-1)you did three things wrong here.
1. you used song lyrics to express your emotions, seriously, how emo are you?
2. you expressed your self-pity on your facebook status, attention whore much?
3. you used lyrics as your facebook status, not are you a lame wallowing imbecile, but you are lazy and uncreative about it
(+1)1.dont be a pussy next time.
2.if she says something like that again, skin her alive.
#180 - On 08/25/2009 at 3:55pm by bigbinga47
(+1)I saw them last Sunday! And I met Ryan, who inspired me 2 years ago to play violin! It was epic!
(-1)HAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH,
1. i have to agree shame on you for listening to such terrible, terrible music
2. hahahahahahaha dude learn how to please a girl
#184 - On 08/28/2009 at 1:23pm by benzskaterdude
(+1)Love the song, but sorry dude. YDI for putting song lyrics as your facebook status.
#185 - On 09/17/2009 at 2:18am by DynamicDave
(+1)Aw...I feel your pain with the breakup. No offense but your mother and friends sound like pricks...
(-1)ummm.... does anyone else notice that those lyrics are from The Red Jumpsuit Apparartus?? As far as I know, they were the original...
#191 - On 12/24/2009 at 11:08am by just_for_lols
