Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
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Top comments
Mynamewontfi 40
Ain't that sweet of her.
mpkpm 19
Silly child, sweets are for parents.
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Comments (55)
Mynamewontfi 40
Ain't that sweet of her.
colton_colton 50
Sorry to hear that OP :(
Mynamewontfi 40
I like how your comment has so much relevance to mine.
Wizardo 33
#21, I agree and its sad to see such a classic example of attempted thread jacking, first comment was actually good this time and this fool tries to ride on his coat tails, just post your comment individually next time especially since its so bloody generic no one would give a crap anyway.
FangirlingAlways 14
#31, some people don't even know that they are thread jacking sometimes. It's annoying but we usually don't talk about it a lot so some people don't know what it is. When I first installed this app I didn't know what thread jacking was for a while.
GEBEH 14
Even if you don't know the named used for it here you definetly know you're doing it.
peanuty001 19
mothers these days
abhi95 31
Enough with the mom dissing. Candy is bad for your dental health. She was saving her child's pretty white teeth.. Oh the sacrifice! *weep* *weep*
Missyeru 14
#23 is right OP, she was watching out for your dental health... Or maybe she read a article about stolen candy calories not counting? F her thighs.
mmyoung979 14
Maybe she wanted to see if stealing candy from a teenager is as easy as stealing candy from a baby? Evidently, sounds like it was.
mpkpm 19
Silly child, sweets are for parents.
Welshite 39
That's just as bad as Trix being exclusively for kids. Last time I tried that cereal, I was mobbed and left for dead by a pack of rogue children.
mpkpm 19
Your response made my day good sir.
Darksoul09 16
#8 Its people like you that make this planet worth living on.
labeledConundrum 5
What the hell is she say to you that distracted you from noticing that
Edumcg 24
She gave her the talk.
sammyjo06 14
Eh, even if she just wanted to steal your candy, as long as you guys talked and it left you with a smile on your face, I think you'll be fine :).
outoftown 26
Depends. If she stole chocolate, it's not.
CaptainBlack 18
Isn't that lingering smile on your face worth some candy?
minesbiggerr 25
No......
dachayke 16
I'm pretty sure the smile disappeared as soon as OP realized his stash of kit-kats had.
JMichael 25
No candy for you OP.
jman26 11
Worse*
koalabear_55 11
The candy monster strikes again? I thought they only came around Easter, Halloween and Christmas
weveallbeenthere 30
she was saving you from a trip to the dentist.