Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
kaitieloo 22
Ultimate douchebag.
transcedental 18
This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.
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Comments (218)
kaitieloo 22
Ultimate douchebag.
caohm 18
buy a big mean looking dog but don't tell him and put it in his car right before he has to go to work hell have a nice surprise waiting for him.
Sports_guy3 28
Nononononono! I accidentally voted YDI. Your fiancé is a huge turd.
swaggalikethat 22
Ouch, sounds ruff（;￣O￣）
Wederoney 16
Well, I have to admit it was funny until i read the last sentence.
fakedsincerity 32
hopefully the baby gets most of the OPs genes and skips the douchebag ones.
cryssycakesx3 22
OMG no #38!!? you did not hit YDI?? that's completely unbelievable let alone acceptable. how could you do such a thing...
nyellow 6
Hey leave them alone!!
PunsY0 5
it was funny untill the last line.
nishantvas 13
You know I would've been laughing on my gf as well had this happened to her, BUT the being pregnant part make your fiancé an actual douche bag !!
MaddieAllTheWay 5
So true
Jeffy91 28
I would even say he is lower than an ultimate douche bag. He is closer to being the crud scraped off a man's scrotum that hasn't seen the likes of water in over 10 years.
Samuel5463 12
Harsh words
ipman737 18
Sorry OP, make him sleep on the couch tonight!
PterodactylMan 23
He deserves to sleep outside. Hopefully the babies okay!
luckyone365 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If he's the breadwinner in the house, she can sleep on the couch.
awesomeamandas 37
He deserves to sleep in the doghouse.
Welshite 39
#35: Last I heard, a relationship was a partnership. Breadwinner or not does not make it okay to mistreat your spouse/partner, male or female. It's even worse when a child is involved. I don't care if one spouse makes more than the other. Respect is one of the most important necessary ingredients to a healthy relationship.
Enslaved 36
Sleeping on the couch isn't a punishment in my house. My couches are comfortable as hell! Sunday nap, here I come! :P
rgriff27 19
What an immature jerk!
angiemarie96 25
Would've been hilarious if she wasn't pregnant
shank39 12
Yeah... Totally insensitive prick...
dingleberrysteve 6
its only funny until the baby is born with down syndrome
Zaharra 10
Down syndrome is genetic.
nix1993 41
I don't think the dog could have knocked an extra chromosome into her baby.
transcedental 18
This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.
sunnyray812 42
I know. He really should not be a father.
isallwaysme 27
any guy can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad.
nelliegw 26
Well said, #108.
twitchtail 21
Same. This is absolutely rediculous (sorry I legitimately can't spell that) how your husband and future father to your baby could just stand there laughing as you get injured. Unless of course you weren't injured. It's still horrid no matter what way you put it.
jessicircle 16
If he didn't think it was a good idea to help you up, then maybe he doesn't care about the safety of his child. Not only could you have been hurt by being knocked down, but so could your unborn child. That's really rude of him to just stand there and laugh. In his defense, I think a lot of people just stand and laugh when someone falls over.
askullnamedbilly 33
Well gee, better not leave that man alone with the kid once it's born. If anything happened, he'd probably tape it and put it on Youtube.
Yorih17 22
he wouldn't even put it on you've been framed and at least get the £250!
karatekid97 17
You can laugh your ass off as he sleeps on the couch for the next week!
Rissa11 9
Dang OP. That is horrible of him. I'd love to read the follow up!!
saraitkddh 47
looks like he is gonna make a great dad
Blink_me26 21
What the **** is wrong with him?