Anonymous
Portland, United States
Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML
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Carrie
Neat freak
Today, I cleaned my car for the first time in ages and proudly showed my friend how spotless it was. Right then, a gust of wind blew a huge mess of shit straight inside as I opened the door. She said, “Nature disagrees.” Shards of leaves and other bits of crap were everywhere. FML
FMLimsomad
United States
Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML
minette08
United States
Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML
Anonymous
Today, I felt cold while driving, so I blasted the heat. The one thing I didn't expect was a load of tiny spiders spilling out of the vents and writhing all over my dash. FML
grann
United States
Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML
Anonymous
Act of god
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Username
United States
Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML
Geemeisters
Studley, United Kingdom
Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML
Anonymous
United States
Roadkill
Today, I saw maggots dropping from beneath my car. I looked under, to see a rotting paw dangling from my engine. That would explain the smell. FML
FML
United States
The *****
Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML
Top comments
Welshite 39
That's okay. The spiders are willing to be your friends and accompany you.
immunetoinsanity 23
Get your friends to clean them off! Oh wait..
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Comments (119)
Peachy2392 26
Okay...wipe them off
SqueakyChipmunk 21
You didn't finish your sentence. Wipe them off...with fire*
rg350dx 29
That OP has finally realized he doesn't clean and possibly maintain his vehicle as often as he should...duh.
SqueakyChipmunk 21
I think most of us get the point of the FML, but we all really hate ******* spiders.
Peachy2392 26
Thank you for correcting me #16. Use of fire is encouraged when dealing with spiders and spider webs.
SmallyBigs 9
OP needs some friends :/
amDes 11
I understood that OP probably has no friends to ride shotgun, but my first thought was still "time to get out the napkins and clean that shit"
perdix 29
#12, I know, Alan! Clearly, the point of the story is the OP is raising spiders and doesn't have cobwebs on his driver's-side door, which is cutting his spider range in half. It's so obvious.
RedPillSucks 31
Those spiders that don't **** are pretty cool, though.
zomgbies 17
Just drive it into a lake. That will get them off
gAt_d 26
Wiping off the cobwebs are certainly easy enough but I get the notion that the cobwebs also represent the OP's loneliness. Maybe I'm reading far more into it...
Peachy2392 26
#74, you're right. It's supposed to represent his lack of friends or loneliness, something like that.
BrotherPhil 35
Dont **** them then.
mikepzz 27
Yes. I concur
olpally 32
Clean your car op. That's disgusting. :/
badluckdawson 19
You didn't get it...
olpally 32
I get that op should clean his car regardless of having friends or not.
SqueakyChipmunk 21
Cleaning is for losers that have lives. I have no life; **** cleaning.
mFUNdo21 17
cleaning is for people with no friends. he doesn't have friends so why waste his precious friendless time
SomeRandomGuy15 18
70- Cleaning is for people with no friends; He has no friends, therefore he shouldn't waste his time cleaning. What the hell?
Welshite 39
That's okay. The spiders are willing to be your friends and accompany you.
Sweet_Meli 11
This reminds me of Charlottes web :D
hippyhopgirl 9
Spiders are the root of all evil. Yes, they may befriend you but they may also be planning your death.
Blackcatluck 19
No, that's a cat's job
bellydancer82 15
This is one of the dumbest FMLs I've ever read.... Oh no! No one goes in the passengers side so there's cobwebs! Well... Just wipe them off.
Nyx_fml 23
Hey, you're carpooling; it's not so bad.
etishuman22 32
Decorating your car for Halloween or forever alone? Take your pick.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
You need more friends.
JACKxRAWR 22
Nah. Friends are people and people are terrible inventions.
Kruiser 16
9 - Way to read in between the lines. Proud of yah
immunetoinsanity 23
Get your friends to clean them off! Oh wait..
baxeh 29
Try offering some strangers a ride!
HowieDoIt 21
What could possibly go wrong?
SqueakyChipmunk 21
How about that fellow down the road? His machete looks nice.
RedPillSucks 31
The spiders will protect OP if something goes wrong.
baxeh 29
I dont see anything wrong with the plan, infact, we should encourage it everywhere! Lets start at the schools.
SqueakyChipmunk 21
TUCK AND ROLL! Then watch your car crash and burst into flames, along with whatever owned those webs.