gassy
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Aubrey, United States
Love that for you
Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML
Top comments
Pilkipedia 8
This relationship smells like a success.
nycwrestler 17
He's lying! Girls don't fart!
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Comments (118)
Pilkipedia 8
This relationship smells like a success.
Catkam623 27
No their love is so strong that you simply can't bear to be in the same room.
kakarot2 11
Better out then in, I always say!!
ScaughtieHolden 11
Are you Shrek?
zebraumicornz 6
At least he didn't say you sharted alot.:)
ThePsyche 9
But hey, if he's still with you he's a keeper :)
poccocurantes 7
Nothin says lovin, like a good Dutch oven.
PenguinBitch 43
I bet they blew each other away when they first met.
TourettesGuyFTW 25
OP must really blow the wind up her boyfriend's sails.
Jorcar 8
Just stop farting around with these jokes... Ok, that was a fail, butt seriously.
jokinghazard 3
hahahaha oh god that was funnier than the FML, which was pretty funny
ICastillo 24
When you have to go, you have to go.
SakataGintoki 9
Come on now; it's not like she shit the bed.
asb818 14
Or peed after orgasming.
ICastillo 24
I was just saying when you have to fart just let them go . Why hold them in?
sparkrok 8
Better to let it out and bear the shame, than hold it in and bear the pain...
His_Holiness 18
Better in than out I always say
WcED 8
Better in than out? well you should GTFO with that BS.
onlychildFTW 33
I was with a girl that always peed after she orgasmed. She couldn't help it. It was gross but she was really hot.
lil_ham1644 29
That's disgusting 110
motor_fml 20
Keep smiling.
wlddog 14
I wonder if he tried to light any of them.
zombieslayer83 19
I guess he fu¢#ed the shit out of you!
nycwrestler 17
You can say shit but not ****?
cliffibom 15
F**k, holy shit i got sensored too!
False_Stupidity 41
Regardless, this FML has nothing to do with shit, she farted, there's a difference.
poccocurantes 7
But we don't know if it was a wet one.
dwc2134 5
Maybe he was just joking or poking fun at the fact she did? Kinda sounds like something I'd do with a girl I was comfortable enough with. Never seriously, such as "What the **** you doing farting so much, bitch?" but "You know... you fart a lot in your sleep lovey..."... Just playing the devils advocate here.
zandalee 19
I agree totally. How rude and mean to make the first thing out of his mouth such a put down. Should have said something lovely and sweet.
Valiumknights44 12
And they said romance is dead...or maybe they just wished it....
Onmyzephyr 5
This time it was actually sent to the gas chamber.
Werken247 14
Or it just smells dead.
Valiumknights44 12
How gastly, no one gets my Buffy reference.
maz95 17
That sounds like a romantic first night!
nycwrestler 17
He's lying! Girls don't fart!
ICastillo 24
Na man they busted that myth on Myth Busters. It's true they do fart and even poop too.
aFreedom127 9
Next your gonna tell me we urinate too!!!
DanielleinDC 33
We also sweat, and we also burp. Sorry to disappoint you.
Werken247 14
@27 I heard they only urinate when ****** with a full bladder. Still not sure I buy the bit about females ********... think that's just pushing the limits of reality.
jtthegr8 26
They do queef though..
ICastillo 24
#36 it's true they poop. The Myth Busters don't lie. You can't lie on television, it's illegal.
N3766 20
So all my life is a lie...
senor_awesome 14
Wait, so do guys have emotions also?!
SRU_Toronto 5
nothing disappointing about that xD
ICastillo 24
Haha no #93 now that was a funny comment. "Do guys have emotions?"...man that's classic.
gregnc_fml 18
That's right, girls toot!
ladylilly25 20
Now, did they wake him up or was he just taking forever to fall asleep? I rather think the former would be much worse. Either way, that's embarrassing! He shouldn't have said anything. :/
perdix 29
"Nah, it was just queefing!" That should make it better.
micahdunk 13
"Better out then in I always say!" -Shrek
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
its than*. the way you used then made it seem like shrek was convincing fiona to have sex with him.
micahdunk 13
Whoops. Didn't catch that one. Sorry.