Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92559) - you totally deserved it (6030)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
well the cunt apple doesn't fall far from the cunt tree.
#404 - On 07/09/2009 at 11:43pm by stinkybutt
The little kid was a bitch, and so was the mother, but letting a kid swear doesn't make someone a bad parent. It makes them logical, since there is no real reason not to swear. Other than it offends some people. Which is why a good parent teaches kids to make sure it's not offensive before swearing, so they don't hurt anyone's feelings.
Failing to teach a kid when or when not to swear, makes you a bad parent.
#424 - On 08/30/2009 at 2:04pm by thewonkits
i know rightt?
i mean i dont hate kids, but it makes me reallyy mad to see their bad parents because i know that's how thoe kids are gonna be when they grow up.
#427 - On 09/13/2009 at 2:05pm by poochiix33
Holy crap cant parents teach their kids to speak properly. When i swore i got soap in the mouth.
#4 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:08am by fistofflu03
I didn't even have to swear for the soap...it was something along the lines of "your stupid" to my older brother. I'm 15 and now my mom swears around me all the time. I think she figures "what the heck, its not like she dosen't know them anyways."
I had to have tabasco on my mouth but by the time I was 7 I was litteraly drinking tabasco =P
#442 - On 01/18/2010 at 8:39pm by Spectrum856
why doesn't that surprise me. our culture has completely fucked itself (pun intended).
#5 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:09am by sirfuzzitoes
you should have said "if you just woulda fucked YOURself, we wouldn't have THIS (point at the kid) problem"
HAHA i'll remember that one if it happens to me LOL!!!!!
#409 - On 07/16/2009 at 10:30pm by mikaelap14
that's so stupid you shoulda punched em up out called kids help phone so that the little brat would be raised properly!
#15 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:21am by maskjmgvwrfp
they should run an IQ-test before you are allowed to have children. that's another generation wasted.
#16 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:22am by AntiChrist7
#9 FTW ^_^
Good old discipline. That's what that kid needs.
Reminds me of my cousin that flipped me off. He was three. -_-
Wow, how terrible is that. Did the mom never think "Hmm, maybe I shouldn't be teaching my little girl swear words?" Ughh. =/
#19 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:28am by vehemently
#9 is FTW
people are horrible with raising their kids these days. like last week, my neighbor's son who's 5 told me to fuck off. i looked at him like "are you serious?" then his mom came out and started laughing while he cussed me out.
i want to rephrase my #18 comment.
that little girl needs to trip on some kava and have a bad trip!
#22 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:41am by King_of_Kings
#5, that's not a pun. I'm sorry if it was intended to be.
#23 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:47am by wienerwagon
Why are little kids such douchebags? I hate little children these days. They're so damn rude! The mom sounds like a bitch too.
#26 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:51am by morgan_5230
i agree with #3.
somehow, i suspect you must have done something to make the girl's mom angry earlier, and she told her daughter to say that to get back at you. really immature though. and if you didn't do anything at all, that's just cold. i hope it didn't totally ruin your day.
People like this make me want to have kids just so I can show all the messed-up parents how it should be done. If I have kids, they WILL speak properly, and they WILL be disciplined.
#32 - On 03/30/2009 at 11:09am by wickedlove
Some people just shouldn't be parents. When I was about 5, a younger girl said hello to me in a store, and I told her not to speak to strangers. Later, her mother told my mother that I was a "rude little c***".
#33 - On 03/30/2009 at 11:14am by BeautyAndBrains
haha #9
pretty much took the words out of my mouth.
the mom is a total douche, her parenting skills are horrible. what happen to teaching kids right from wrong and to respect their elders. the mother needs a good ass whooping. cant really blame the kid, hes just learning from his so-called 'role model'
#36 - On 03/30/2009 at 11:30am by Stay_beautiful
I'm with you guys. I hate kids like this. And unfortunately I have a few living in our little area. IN fact one kid was destroying a tree in our front garden bit so we told her to stop. She says says "No, what are you going to do about it?". So I says I'll tell her mother, so the kid runs home and I think thats the end of it. No, the parent comes over and yells at me for shouting at her child.
I say I didn't shout, only asked her to stop destroying the tree which is not really her property in the first place. Eventually it degrades to her mumbling some obscenities to me while walking away.
About 10 minutes later the ladies sister (the actual resident who rents the place, the other lady was just visiting), coming over to apologize profusely.
Looking back I wish I had gotten in touch with her landlord to get her the fuck out of there, but went with the good neighbour path. Stupid me as the kids are still noisy and annoying as ever. Now they just like to scream a lot while playing in their front garden. A LOT!!!
Wow. There would be absolutely no way I could have gotten away with using that kind of language when I was a child. Nuh-uh!
I can only imagine what that kid is going to grow up to be...
#38 - On 03/30/2009 at 11:36am by Deviouszero
On on hand, letting your kids talk like that reeks of bad parenting. However, this is still a YDI for trying to parent some random kid.
#39 - On 03/30/2009 at 11:36am by UrLifeDoesntSuck
He didn't try to parent some random kid really, apparently he didn't do anything to provoke the swearing, and all he said was for her too watch her language, otherwise he'd tell her parents. Seems fair to me. Shame the parent was also a little ass whole.
#408 - On 07/12/2009 at 2:00pm by TotallyHyped01
#37
yo Jimboom
where you been man?
im not fond of little kids either
#40 - On 03/30/2009 at 11:40am by King_of_Kings
times like this, i wish there were a way to shove them back in...
#41 - On 03/30/2009 at 11:47am by lalamu
wow thats just horrible to raise your child like that im a teenager my mom would still discipline me if I went around cursing
#9... HA!
Yeah, this isn't really an FML.
It's just bad parenting.
I wouldn't take it personally.
#44 - On 03/30/2009 at 11:55am by zombiepeanut
my first thought was "what did you do to elicit this response? People don't just go around saying that." My second thought was to say "I don't think that means what you think it means, you had better go ask your mommy."
The response to the "mother" would be "pardon me, but do you kiss your slit with that mouth?"
You should have replied to the mother, "No, YOU go fuck yourself, and NOT your husband so you don't reproduce any more disgusting little retards like this one anymore"
...and then handed her the phone number to nearest planned parenthood.
terrible. we're you in a walmart, by chance?
#48 - On 03/30/2009 at 12:05pm by Neenertastic
like mother like daughter... I wonder why they are so turned on you by ****ing urself LOL
#49 - On 03/30/2009 at 12:05pm by xsouldeath
When a kid is vulgar like that you can't silence them with an idle threat you have to be just as vulgar if not MORE vulgar back. It's not the most "mature" way of handling kids but it certainly is effective. Let these kids know you're not fuckin around.
It's not the kids fault, she has horrible parents and therefore no good example to follow. I don't hate her any more than I hate a misbehaving dog...the parents need to be kicked in the nads (or better yet, sterilized)
#51 - On 03/30/2009 at 12:09pm by rabidhatter
@9 & 48, your comebacks are terrible. Seriously. A good comeback is short, concise, and poetic. It must flow off the tongue, not sound like something you planned in advance.
#52 - On 03/30/2009 at 12:10pm by UrLifeDoesntSuck
I'll bet that lady's husband is also her brother. And yeah, I could definitely see Wal-Mart being the location of this little story.
well did you do something that made the little kid and the mother think you neither to "go fuck yourself"
#56 - On 03/30/2009 at 12:32pm by dancin303
such bullshit.. no one would just randomly go up to u n tell u to fuck urself.
u must have deserved it
Kids say the darndest things. Parents say the stupidest shit.
#72 - On 03/30/2009 at 1:43pm by Lou_Briccant
wow.. what a bitch.. i wouldve kicked her in the crotch, and been like, "I hope you remember how this feels when you try and make another disgusting little brat like this one."
btw, im having a little girl in July, and she will NEVER say things like this, especially in public.
#73 - On 03/30/2009 at 1:49pm by brittanycraze
This isn't really a FML. This is more of a ETHTMO (Entertaining Things Happen To Me Occasionally).
#75 - On 03/30/2009 at 1:56pm by goobersnatch
Wow. I would have punched her mom. People like her should never procreate.
#76 - On 03/30/2009 at 1:57pm by wat_the_eff
kids these days. fuck their parents. I say bend the kid over and say..oh i dunno..10 smacks on the bottom? When the mother comes to yell at you take off the belt and tell her to drop her pants..shes getting belted till she can't see straight for being a dumb bitch.
#9 haha
#80 - On 03/30/2009 at 2:13pm by DizzyDemon0
Dude, seriously, why would some little kid go up to you and say that? Usually, people have reasons for telling you what to do to yourself.
Also, how do you know that she was a seven-year-old and not some bitter teenager with a pituitary gland disorder?
#82 - On 03/30/2009 at 2:26pm by uhnonnuhmus
@52- I have dozens of pre-planned comebacks, that way I can tailor to the situation. Comebacks don't always have to roll of the tongue like you say. There is no book stating how to make a good comeback.
In general: I had an experience like this once. I was at a summer day camp, and the night before this event, I had told a little boy to stop picking on my younger sister and her friend. Well, the next day this boy's cousin comes up to me and was like, "So I heard you were messing with my cousin." I told her the whole story, and then she proceeds to get even more upset with me and pushes me. Now, normally I won't hit a woman/girl, but the second you hit me it's game on. My friends knew I was about to lose it and held me back immediately. At this point, the girl's mother comes over and proceeds to yell at me for "hitting" her daughter. I didn't even touch her. In the end, I was kicked out of the camp on the last day because of lousy parenting.
#84 - On 03/30/2009 at 2:47pm by Pheonix21
Parents are way too lenient with their kids these days. Your kid can still grow up to love you even if you discipline them for things that are wrong (my parents would never have let me pull anything like that but we have a great relationship and I appreciate them not letting me grow up to be a little brat). Parents think the way to their kids heart is to treat them like a god and run around and do anything they want. That's why I'm in college and still dealing with immature babies that rely totally on their parents and think it's acceptable to be rude and mean. Blehhhhh. Just fucking discipline your kids, people! Or the next generation will be a hot mess.
Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. You just found a fine example.
#87 - On 03/30/2009 at 3:04pm by Prisoner_24601
Uhhhh, better get CPS in there to make sure her mom isn't making her take any enemas. X_X
#88 - On 03/30/2009 at 3:08pm by marycjones
I usually hate little kids, but this one I appreciate the existence of :) A seven-year-old with a sailor's mouth seems like a winner to me :D
#92 - On 03/30/2009 at 3:24pm by ShannonBAMF
1.) welcome to america
2.) how hard can you swing a bat?
3.) tell them to fuck each other, like they haven't already tried. i bet that's all the action they will each get, for sure.
#97 - On 03/30/2009 at 3:44pm by Abcdfg
What were doing to engender this reaction from this random little kid??? Was it offensive enough to warrant that? Either way, parental fail, hardcore!
Man I would have ripped on her. Most people should never have kids. You did nothing wrong and that lady was a bitch.
#101 - On 03/30/2009 at 4:06pm by sleepless15_p
WHAT?! OMG if that was my kid, I'd backhand the shit out of her. And that "mother" should have her kid taken from her. Not good parenting at all.
#105 - On 03/30/2009 at 4:46pm by LaskovyjZajchik
in the end it's the mom who's fucked. she's the one who raised a little shit
#107 - On 03/30/2009 at 4:57pm by XxGivesMEhellxX
if a 7 year old is going to start saying fuck myself, i'm going to start throwing C*nt around more often....
Wow. I'm so glad parents are setting good examples for their children...
#110 - On 03/30/2009 at 5:00pm by sydney9
I'd raise my voice and keep yelling at both (preverably the kid) for as long as possible.
Those people fucking need to die.
#112 - On 03/30/2009 at 5:17pm by ArmoredSandwich
tell the kid next time "If you behave like this, santa's not gonna give u a present, hes gonna whoop yo' ass."
#113 - On 03/30/2009 at 5:23pm by rawblerawble
u should of told that woman that if she went and fucked herself once in a while she wouldnt have that bitch of kid.
#114 - On 03/30/2009 at 5:26pm by xlucklessloverx
That's REALLY messed up. If little kids are using this language now, I don't want to think about what the babies will say....
Fuck that, keep it real lol. If I were you I'd have hit that mom in the face and shoved down her kid.
#118 - On 03/30/2009 at 6:21pm by strangersdk
You're not the one who's life is f*cked - unfortunately, it's the little girl. Bad manners, bad parents, poor kid.
#120 - On 03/30/2009 at 6:22pm by phantomdonut
what a sad little family. that mom needs a reality check.
#121 - On 03/30/2009 at 6:37pm by amykillswitch
As a french girl, I have to ask : is that why baseball was invented ? XD
I hate kids like that, but there are so many. And I heard a lady some weeks ago, saying that she would never dare to correct her kid in public, because every time she did, there were some idiots that came to tell her how to raise her kid, and that she should not embarass him in front of other people, or they just stared at her.
I'm afraid that most parents now just think like her, and they hope that their kids will raise themselves watching TV, some show like Kyle XY and that they don't have to do anything for fear their neighboors might think the kids are not smart enough to be grown-ups on their own.
#9's comeback was clever, #48's was no good.
#9 thats an awesome response!
Now I'm kind of on-the-fence on whether to allow abortions or not, but this here was a prety good shove in the pro-choice direction, or at least give away your kids to adoption for some parents that really wanna have a kid and can parent better than this bitch can.
And I'm not certain what justification the pope used in his recent speech, but forbidding the use of condoms isn't gonna exactly make these situations any better...
If that's what this girl's acting like at age 7, I can't imagine how much of a bitch she's gonna be at 17...I've had first-hand experiences with those girls, and people tell me it doesn't get any better in college, which I'll be at in a matter of months.
#123 - On 03/30/2009 at 6:54pm by DeathByIrony90
The mother's a bitch. I would have just said "Well at least fucking myself doesn't make kids."
#124 - On 03/30/2009 at 6:56pm by SVelasquez
Should have told her to go fuck herself right back.
#130 - On 03/30/2009 at 7:26pm by lolatflyingducks
I would have kicked that little brat so hard her grand daddy would feel it.
#132 - On 03/30/2009 at 7:48pm by mercedeslove
Fuck this kid an her mom.
Those are the kind of people who never get laid.
#134 - On 03/30/2009 at 8:21pm by starshine3987
I can only imagine what sorta problems she's going to have with her kids in the future.
#136 - On 03/30/2009 at 8:32pm by gbaby4ster
and THAT, my fellow site-users, is where the little brat learned it from.
#124, that's a great response, but i'd say "at least fucking myself doesn't create kids, especially little brats like yours." and just turn and walk away. lol
#137 - On 03/30/2009 at 8:33pm by summersong89
Shows how amazing parenting is anymore (Well for some parents.)
#138 - On 03/30/2009 at 9:24pm by xohxbrittanyrae
Kids just get worse and worse. I would've insulted the mother and told her I see where she'd get the rudeness from.
#143 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:34pm by 2Chances2Fail
Epic comeback #9
Why do some parents have to be like that?
#144 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:36pm by Quinnjamin
...wow, if i was like that 13 years ago, i would've gotten spanked with shoes. and belt......the metal part of it. and yes both has been done to me lol, i think for bringing home bad grades and making fun of my classmates (my teacher told my parents haha ooops..)
anyway real story or not, kids are very rude these days regardless. i dunno if parents are too soft on their kids nowadays, or they just don't bother or care anymore...
#146 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:44pm by doodles88
ummmm what? thats a little weird... do you know the kid?
#147 - On 03/30/2009 at 10:56pm by thellamanator
I'm much more appalled at the mom than her kid. No wonder the kid is like that, when her mom sets the example.
#148 - On 03/30/2009 at 11:10pm by swagmonkey
I would be laughing my ass off if that happened to me.
#149 - On 03/30/2009 at 11:21pm by Boring_Life
dont worry, i had a similar situation with a little brat at the local pool who told her mom later that we had made fun of her (lie). so then me and my friends got yelled at by a mom for half an hour about picking on little kids. the kid was nine. she knew what she was doing.
That's okay. Last time a kid did that to me, I told him hims parents were getting a divorce and they were putting him up for adoption because he made them hate eachother and they didnt love him.
#152 - On 03/31/2009 at 12:14am by truelyajerk
What scum.
That said, years ago when I was at school, I was going home for the day and a little kid ran across the road to punch me. I hit him on the side of the head with my nice, newly made wooden photo frame that I cut in technology and the mother came roaring over to have a go at me for hitting her son!
people=trash.
I taught swim lessons... by the end of it I wanted to kill every parent of every child who thinks that they're child is perfect and has the right to the very very best, even if that means that they're a downright asshole to everyone else to get it.
#155 - On 03/31/2009 at 4:05am by caligirl5422
Haven't you learned yet? Never get in between a mother cow and her young calf. It never turns out well.
I've had something like that happen before.
When I worked at a food lion, a girl, maybe 9 or 10, shoved her hand up where it could get hurt. My coworker saw this and jerked the kid's hand out of the way. The grandma for this kid runs up and starts yelling at the coworker for hitting the kid! And it gets better still. The kid is excited and watching, but when grandma looks at her and asks, "did she hit you?" the girl gets this teary face and starts nodding. It was really lucky that there was a witness, or the coworker would have gotten fired for hitting a child. The stupid grandma yelled at her, me, and the manager about it.
So? You have two hands. And more importantly, both of those hands have backs. DOUBLE BACKHAND TO THE FACE, BITCHES
#161 - On 03/31/2009 at 1:46pm by eaglesrule8120
Ruin the kids life tell her Santa isn't real.
Also this is not the worst parenting I've ever seen. I was working on an open air play once, in the middle of a public park, we were taking down the girders that held up the lamps. They were over 12 feet high and made of hollow aluminium, light but would still hurt if they fell on you from there. We have a couple of people up on ladders with torque wrenches which, if you don't know are about a foot long and heavy, and pointy. A mother pushing a pram goes right through the centre of it all. It is basically a building site. We all watch the same way you watch a car crash.
#152 : you're my hero.
#154 : Why would the kid need to change ? She has the agreement of her mother. ^^
I would have cussed the mother out, thats just wrong..
#165 - On 03/31/2009 at 3:22pm by MichelleSoFlyy
wow, if the mom had done that to me, I would have punched her.
#167 - On 03/31/2009 at 4:27pm by JessiLou777
I gotta agree with #7. Welcome to Boston indeed!
Was this at like a grocery store or something?
#169 - On 03/31/2009 at 7:48pm by BlaisOf_Fire91
RANDOMLY?!?! Had you been doing something to make her say that? Where were you?????
And wow i can't believe her mom would say that. hahahahahaha people these days....
#170 - On 03/31/2009 at 9:44pm by maddy_waddy
this happened to me when I was 7 years old. this kid kept throwing plastic balls at me in the burger king playground, and when i asked him to stop he said "go fuck yourself". then his mom did too, and she encouraged him to beat me up. at least i never went back to burger king.
I'm not your Big, I will hit you. I've never done that before but I will hit a child...punch you right in the face.
Maybe they both have a bad case of tourette syndrome?
#176 - On 04/01/2009 at 9:25pm by goodnightgracie
She should be happy you didn't respond with parenting advice, since she obviously has none to show. What a disgusting child, and what's worse, the despicable mother to blame it on.
#179 - On 04/02/2009 at 2:32pm by NorwayGrrl
oh my god...when i said bad words my dad would hold me down while my mom forced a spoonful of red chilli powder in my mouth...and i didnt get water or anything at all until i swore NEVER to do whatever i did again and apologized like mad...suffice to say my manners were AMAZING...my friends parent's all still think i have amazing manners...and i won out in the end...now i cant get enuff of spicy things...cuz i got so used to it LMAO
#180 - On 04/02/2009 at 2:44pm by madame_malfoy
lmao you got owned by a seven year old,
thats pretty hilarous .
#183 - On 04/04/2009 at 12:38am by iloveyouu_
You can't really blame the kid, that's just really crap parenting, it's just unfortunate that you had to experience the result of her rubbish parenting!
why did the mom say that?
like... i don't get why she would be mad.
#186 - On 04/08/2009 at 7:30pm by abnormalxxabby
The sad part is that now days parents don't give a crap what their kids do.
Last week I remembered seeing 2 little kids, who couldn't be any older than 10 years old, cursing up a storm while their mom was right next to them. The older one out of the 2 ran into an elderly woman and had the nerve to yell profane words at the poor woman.
I mentioned this to some of my friends and told them that I wanted to go up to the kids' mom and tell her that her kids shouldn't be yelling that type of stuff to people, especially old people.
Want to know what my friends had to say about this? They told me that if anyone ever walks up to them and criticizes them for something like this, that they would curse out the person and try to beat them up.
Real classy.
should have punched the kid and the parent in the face then ran away. i would have.
#189 - On 04/09/2009 at 12:18am by realbigballs
eww, what scumbags. really, the only people that I have ever seen with children who run around swearing like that are total dirtballs.
#190 - On 04/13/2009 at 10:42am by katie_6098
These are the kinds of people that make other countries dislike the US. All people ever talk about is sex and swearing, it makes me angry!
#192 - On 04/16/2009 at 7:06pm by Realfaction
and cats!!!
(refer to restaurant scene in twilight) :P
#406 - On 07/12/2009 at 2:33am by NewLight8421
And if I ever said anything like that when I was a kid, I would either get soap in the mouth or be whipped with a belt by my dad, which I have been when I was a kid. I would usually get grounded and couldn't do anything afterwards.
#193 - On 04/16/2009 at 7:11pm by Realfaction
I hate foul-mouthed little kids
and I hate parents who think the sun shines out of their kids' asses
bad parent.
That kid will wind up getting pregnant at 16 overweight addicted to smokes and stuck in a dead end job at a fish and chip shop. So it's more like FHL haha I love the illustrated fml :) I love c&h
Love the illustration.
Don't see what is so hard to believe about this story being true, but if you're fortunate enough to have never encountered any bratty ill-bred ofspring of mouth breathing jerks that's great for you.
My nephew decided on christmas day in front of the whole family he wasn't getting enough attention and just randomly announced "Eat My Poo!" and "Drink My Wee!" He's three. He also told his gandmother "Go home bitch" while she was baby sitting him because he gets upset when his mother isn't there. He doesn't know how rude it is because his parents always talk like that and watch movies he shouldn't be watching on their lazy butts all day.
#202 - On 04/25/2009 at 1:52pm by dirtyhippie
Cyanide and Happiness is probably the best medium for this FML.
Also, the mom's JUST as much, if not more of a bitch, than the kid.
#203 - On 04/25/2009 at 1:56pm by beyondperception
omg my 2 favorite websites in the world together? cyanide and happiness with fml??!??!?! its MIRACLE!!!!!
#210 - On 04/25/2009 at 2:51pm by spartathechicken
the perfect time to assault somebody while their child watches.
everybody learns a lesson! 1. you get arrested 2. the mother learns her lesson 3. the child learns to keep her mouth shut.
I'm with #51- not her fault, the parents are the ones to blame.
#212 - On 04/25/2009 at 3:05pm by belladonnafleur
I'm glad to see that FML took the suggestion of getting the Cyanide and Happiness guys to draw one. Awesome illustration.
Cyanide and Happiness? Wow, FML is doing great! Love the one this week; awesome choice of an FML.
#218 - On 04/25/2009 at 3:51pm by TydusArandor
Although the art isn't as good as the first illustrated FML, (well it IS Cyanide and Happiness) this comic is definitely much better!
#220 - On 04/25/2009 at 3:55pm by justjayit
I work at a hospital and one of the patients we had not too long ago was a little 6 year old. I told her that I needed to get her vital signs. She asked what time it was and I told her that it was 3:00am. She pulled the covers up around her neck. When I tried to pull them down she responsed by telling me to go f*** myself. I was like now you shouldnt say that. Her mother and father both jump up off the cot that they were sleeping on naked, I was bothering them while they were having sex with their daughter right next to them. They yelled get the f*** out now. I wasnt alond to go back into her room while she was a patient because her parents flied a complaint against me.
#224 - On 04/25/2009 at 4:43pm by beetlebaileigh07
Well, what do you expect? If a creepy old man offered me a free balloon I would have said worse.
@185 Ok, but what if they bite it?
#225 - On 04/25/2009 at 5:15pm by Lester
Little brat. If I swear in the house I get slapped and I'm nearly out of highschool
#226 - On 04/25/2009 at 6:22pm by Succubus_Maid
i personally think its wrong to hve a bad mother like that
#228 - On 04/25/2009 at 6:34pm by Unlimitedaxl
#224 holy shit for real? damn well thats what happens when you have to deal with the public everyday haha. that's why i'm never working in a hospital
my mom would whoop my ass and probably kill me if she ever heard me say fuck. i guess its a good thing she's not in high school with me haha.
Heh I can top this on a bad parenting scale....
One day I was in a theme park with my now ex, in a smoking area. A little girl walks by us to the ash can puffing on a cigarette. We asked her how old she was. EIGHT! The best part? Her mother was a few feet away laughing about it.
#234 - On 04/25/2009 at 9:28pm by TheMongoose333
that mother puts the white in white trash. She won't be laughing when one day she yells at her daughter and the response she gets it "go fuck yourself"
#237 - On 04/25/2009 at 10:11pm by annas2kool4u
am i the only one who honestly did not find this funny?
#238 - On 04/25/2009 at 10:18pm by Syngular174
Jeez, I'm so sick of how rude kids are today! It's getting to be really terrible. If I said anything like that to an adult (or to anyone for that matter) I'd have been in so much trouble..
#242 - On 04/25/2009 at 11:07pm by i_play_drums58
I agree with 98...laugh hysterically in their faces and walk away
Or pull a Jurassic Park. Their vision is probably based on movement, and all you've got to do is stand still.
#247 - On 04/26/2009 at 12:08am by StupidGravity
That little girl needs to have her mouth washed out with soap.
#248 - On 04/26/2009 at 12:40am by austinmcelli
that was funny. but parents or soon to be parents, that should teach you something. little kids will mimic who they look up to. and guess who that happens to be. the parents.
#249 - On 04/26/2009 at 1:31am by grazynaanka
Holy shit, cyanide and happiness saw my FML..i'm speechless this makes everything all better
#251 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:05am by Wmsys32pr9
...isn't it funny how offering a balloon could almost look like you're trying to "pick up" that child? Did ya think that PERHAPS you should "fuck off" and not try to "pick up" little girls? and perhaps just stay away is best... its not your job to give out balloons is it?
Nice drawing btw :D
#253 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:06am by yes_yes_yes
#253: Call it the artist taking liberties with the FML. Note that no mention of balloons are ever mentioned in the FML ;)
I hate kids. In general, they have to be the worse generation yet. They have cell phones, myspaces, and all theses other things I didn't get until I was 13. And another thing, they don't even DRESS like kids anymore. I had to do a carnival for my volunteer group, and I saw kids there who were wearing some of the same stuff I wear, and I'm 15. They have horrible mouths, somethings I could never, and didn't, say when I was younger, and I rarely say now. Never in front of my mom. Displine, and privilges is the way to go. Make them earn it. But what do I know? I'm a teenager.
#257 - On 04/26/2009 at 10:42am by alex_antidote
wow. i hate little pansy ass brats and their " i like to have an affair with every guy i meet" mothers.
boston FTW (not that that has anything to do with the actual FML but i'm from boston and people earlier on were talking about boston in the comments)
also, 9 is pure genius
OP: haha. that is pretty fucked.
#265 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:35pm by choppedNskrewed
You know how some kids act like their parents? Well, this is an example of kids and parents being similar in a bad way.
I know that would piss me off if is this ever happened to me. I'd have a few words to say to the both of 'em.
#266 - On 04/26/2009 at 6:13pm by Funtertaining11
C&H has never and will never be funny in any way.
Also, I have a raging clue.
#268 - On 04/26/2009 at 7:08pm by RagingClue
How is your life fucked from this? Did this alter your life forever? nah
#270 - On 04/26/2009 at 8:27pm by skillz3333
eugh, i hate little kids that swear and how their parents don't care.
#271 - On 04/26/2009 at 8:50pm by ericanguyen
257 kill yourself, getting a phone at 13 is wayyy too early. And you are gonna sit there and complain about other kids when you are just like them. I didn't get a phone until I was 16 and guess what, no unlimited text or whatever the crap you young idiots use these days.
#277 - On 04/27/2009 at 9:49am by amorris525
lolz you people arguing about comebacks are weird.
#9: epic win.
OP... FYL indeed, what kind of little gremlin kid is that lady raising?
52: ... you're still a kid... o ___0 and whining is making you look worse. roflmao.
@ #9- Just wanted to spoil the parade and point one thing out to everybody-
Starting in the early 1900's many states passed laws regarding that concept... and over the next half a century a couple thousand people were rounded up (this is just in the US, too) and surgically sterilized involuntarily. The most astonishing part about this is that even if low IQ was based on a single recessive allele, AND you could somehow find a way to prevent everybody of low mental faculty from reproducing, it would take over 8,000 years for the frequency of that gene to drop to 1 in 100,000 people.
This is a good visual parallel for what you wrote: http://poleblog.polemos.net/uploaded_images/moron-796261.jpg
Don't be ignorant.
#279 - On 04/27/2009 at 11:45am by lupinloben
People on here need to please stop blaming the kid...if she really was as young as seven, it is not her fault for acting that way, it is the parents' fault for RAISING her to act that way. And a lot of peoples' comebacks on here are meant to excessively embarrass and degrade the girl, when your comebacks should only be directed at the mother when the child is that young. The only thing that should be said to the kid is that it is wrong to act that way.
Reminds me of a time when some bitch at wildwood NJ(hell) was swearing at my dad. Her exact words were "How fucking dare you talk like that to me with my kid in the car" The kid was probably 1, I was 10. my dad didn't even swear, he just told her that if the driver in front of her pulled into the intersection the entire thing would be stopped because there was no room on the road he was trying to go to(he told her because she was pounding on the horn like she was on fire).
Lesson: Never go to Wildwood New Jersey.
# 37, I know where you're coming from. My neighbor has 7 kids like that. Whenever they're outside they are yelling and screaming. Combined I think their whole family is less intelligent then my inbreed dog.
# 37, I know where you're coming from. My neighbor has 7 kids like that. Whenever they're outside they are yelling and screaming. Combined I think their whole family is less intelligent then my inbreed dog.
ouch dude that sucks dont worry your not the only one thats been cussed at by a 7 year old and her mom
#285 - On 04/27/2009 at 3:58pm by zumiskater
little kids can be so mean....mean kids relate to their mean parents...
#288 - On 04/27/2009 at 6:16pm by bendabrenda
wow that mom is really setting a bad example to her child she should really be ashamed of herself for that! Don't worry about the comment that was said to you just shrug it off....
#291 - On 04/27/2009 at 9:03pm by WellThatSuckshuh
You should've alerted the authorities...immediately. That mother's fucked, she's a dumb bitch and always will be because you're not legally allowed to give her the ass kicking she so desperately needs and was asking for. The child on the other hand still has a shot with some proper discipline.
#292 - On 04/27/2009 at 10:35pm by someone1989
I love explosm! =D
Haven't visited the site for a while though. =/
#293 - On 04/28/2009 at 2:09am by braFTW
@ 260 & 277 - obviously 257 is a tad young to be separating herself from whom she calls "kids", but you don't need to go dissing her comment like that. Especially you 277 - "kill yourself"? So on the one hand you're complaining that kids these days don't know a damn thing, yet you're egging a teen on to go kill herself. If I had to guess YOUR age, I'd say you haven't matured a day beyond when you first got your cell phone.
257 clearly understands what's wrong with this picture here. Don't underestimate what you do or don't get just because you're a teen, but do know that come your 20's, another world of knowledge is waiting for you to discover it. Older people will stereotype you because they don't remember what it was like to be your age, thinking your thoughts and going through your problems. In the same way, you're not remembering what it was like to be a "kid". If they're really that much younger than you (5+ years would make them 10 and under), they're probably not even completely aware of how they look to other people. No reason to hate them for things they don't understand - trust that when they enter the real world, they'll be sorted accordingly in the social order of things.
Personally I find it irrelevant how materialistic or foul-mouthed *some* kids are. There're bad apples in every generation - even in my mom's time, there were those who shocked peers and adults with their boldness. But for every vulgar, bratty, scantily clad child there is out there, I believe at least one or two others out there are being taught right.
#294 that's moving.
and #257: I'm jealous of those little 8 year olds texting on their cells, having facebooks, and having touchscreen digital cameras. I'm never going to get close to having a cell until I'm in college. I have like an odysseous(sp) 10 tasks to do before I can get one.
#296 - On 04/28/2009 at 3:39am by _a_through_z
i would have beet the piss out of both of them. damn when i swore as a kid i got beet and sent to bed with no dinner, even now i get slapped on the back of the head.
#297 - On 04/28/2009 at 1:14pm by projectzro
278 - You make a good point and to add, it's not nature, it's nurture that's causing this problem, or lack thereof. I see kids who would otherwise be intelligent and well behaved being fed soda and poptarts for breakfast and having to down Ritalin afterwards because they are supposedly hyperactive. Then they get to watch Jerry Springer while they avoid their homework. No reasonable effort is put into stimulating a child's mind at home and this results in mental atrophy. Soon what would have been a decent human being with manners and skills that would make him/her valuable in society grows up to be a despicable excuse for one.
They go on to raise their children the same way and so on and so on. It's not a genetic problem, it's a societal problem.
I am 14 years old and believe all little kids shall go FCUK themselves. They are all asshloes. Jeez, don't get me started.
#302 - On 04/28/2009 at 9:33pm by lil_wally95
I hate parents who let their little kids turn into little shits. It's like the circle of life. From one jerk to another.
#304 - On 04/29/2009 at 8:34am by sekirei7san
A great movie once said, "It comes from upbringing. Their parents were probably idiots too." Now you know what happens when stupid people have kids.
#306 - On 04/29/2009 at 6:05pm by blastvortex
Hahaha I love Cyanide and Happiness! My 2 favorite things :D
#307 - On 04/29/2009 at 9:58pm by madasahatter
kiddds these days. kindergarteners wearing hollister, 4th graders having sex. what has the world come to??
#308 - On 04/29/2009 at 10:35pm by bekaaaa
classic example of bad parenting. i would have yelled it right back at the parent, and the kid. haha
#309 - On 04/29/2009 at 11:39pm by thellamanator
who does that and how old was this chick like 5 holy crap her parents muss cusslike a maniac like it was their first words or something
#310 - On 04/29/2009 at 11:53pm by shortyshort
She will probably be a slut by the time she hits high school.
#311 - On 04/30/2009 at 12:24am by biskitbukit
u should have slapped that bitch mom and put her back in her place
#315 - On 05/01/2009 at 12:34am by divinerssage
You should have just drowned them both. or if there was no nearby pond/lake/whatever.. just murdered them with any sharp/blunt instrument available.. people like that dont deserve a place in mainstream society you would have done us all a favour
#323 - On 05/02/2009 at 11:20am by KaOzWomBaT
maybe they thought u were good looking... therefore they wanted you to fuck yourself to arouse themselves... in which case the little girl and the mom have the same taste in guys... weird.
The only bad thing now a days, is if you try to instill punishment on your own child, most anybody would call CPS because a spanking has now become abuse, and a pop on the mouth is a punch to the face. I'm not saying beat your kid to death, but I know while growing up, I was deathly afraid of a spanking. Kids now just run over their parents without a care.
#328 - On 05/04/2009 at 2:29am by hansen_Chris
Lmao @ #7.
& I hate how little kids are cussing these days. I'm 19 and if I cuss at my mom I'll get slapped!! But yet theres 3 year olds running around yelling FUCK and calling their moms BITCH. ugh..
This clashes well with a story I read about a 19-year-old guy who got soap in the mouth because he said 'hell' infront of his parents :p
#334 - On 05/05/2009 at 9:20pm by nilou_fayaz
This sounds bad, but they seriously need to be removed from the gene pool. Permanently.
#335 - On 05/05/2009 at 11:12pm by christopherlove
Ah, kids. One time I overheard this little 15 year old brat at Target cursing at his mom for something. Then I heard him say, "You know how much I make at my job?? I make SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH! *AFTER* TAXES!"
Oh yeah, I roffled. And then I cried on the inside because kids are this stupid.
As for #9s comment that would have been hella funny but hella messed up
#341 - On 05/09/2009 at 1:58pm by purplemagnet
lol omg that is so fuckin funny i would laugh my ass if i saw that happen or if it happend to me
#345 - On 05/10/2009 at 7:29pm by punkgal420
thats pretty terrible.
you should have been like "not in the mood."
:D
#350 - On 05/13/2009 at 9:43pm by KellieTheFish
you should of smacked that little bitch and her nappy ass piece of shit mom
#355 - On 05/21/2009 at 9:42am by tigglebittees
when i was seven, if i said the word crap i got about 1/3 of tabasco hot sauce poured down my throat.
#356 - On 05/22/2009 at 7:31pm by lemony_music_grl
#48, you ninja'ed that from #9. hehe. obviously the kid is going to grow up to be a stupid hermit, or no future, or a slut. the mother deserved to be shot for raising our future society like that.
#358 - On 05/24/2009 at 2:36pm by spidergirl41
holy fuck.. there is ALOT of comments.. man.. I'd hate to be the guy getting notified for all of em'
#360 - On 05/24/2009 at 9:45pm by kurtcobainlover
haha. kids. aren't they the cutest little things?!
#361 - On 05/24/2009 at 11:08pm by twistedluver101
The problem with kids today is that their parents weren't raised properly, and now there are laws that make it difficult for people who aren't in the family to set the kids straight.
F everyone's L.
the mom is probably some dumbass who cusses at everyone and her daughter heard her so she imitated her mom
hahhahahahah! sorry but thats REALLY funny! did you at least get a good slap in there?
#368 - On 05/31/2009 at 8:47pm by kristabower
kill em both. murder would have been okay in this situation
#369 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:35am by gregthestrange
wow if that happened to me i think i would have kicked to mom....in the baby maker....so there would be no further atocities like her daughter created
I'm 9 months pregnent and whenever I read things like this I worry about the kids my childs going to be around
#373 - On 06/05/2009 at 7:07pm by tasteslikeloud
The apple doesn't fall to far from the tree. Enough said.
#374 - On 06/06/2009 at 11:59am by happygoluckyhh
How old was she? cuz if she was 9 or older thats not all that disturbing. Besides is just a word.
#375 - On 06/08/2009 at 5:25pm by lolzforfun228
That's why little kids shouldn't have gaming consoles.
Was her mom Courtney Love, or something?
#384 - On 06/14/2009 at 4:47pm by hairspray666
That is our society today. Just like I heard a girl in her 20s asking a young boy about 8, who is accompanied by his mother, whether he had been "pimping any hos?" or the group of six year olds at the mall who messing around and was told by an adult to settle down. A boy and a girl of the group said go F*** yourself.
#386 - On 06/16/2009 at 2:16pm by wayland128
OMG
FML
WAS BORN
TO BE ILLUSTRATED BY
CYANIDE AND HAPPINESS!
:D
#387 - On 06/18/2009 at 11:59am by Drewciffer
EASILY AGREED!
I didn't realize that it was Matt who did this until just a few minutes ago!! I love Cyanide and Happiness! :D I think they should do ALL the illustrations. I want to see how Kris would do this one! xD
#422 - On 08/22/2009 at 2:25pm by spidergirl41
You see, it's these kinds of parents, the ones who don't keep a proper hold on their kids and let them do whatever the hell they want, that are gonna wind up being the cause of some stupid-ass war!
#393 - On 06/22/2009 at 8:08pm by Boss_Tamsy
i dont blame the kid. i blame her mother for letting and technically supporting her to go around telling random people to fuck themselves. it's horrific.
this kid is 7? im 16 and i dont say that. nor do my parents. i think they would disown me if i said that to someone, let alone a stranger
#396 - On 06/24/2009 at 2:46pm by soccerchick001
Think beffore you type saying she should be steralized that is the extreme and when I say extreme I mean EXTREME leftist view and that is pure communism that's almost what they do in china strangling theyre second girl
oh #9...very nice. i must agree, kids that swear are disgusting. whenever i tried to say the littlest swear words my parents would punish me. i still don't swear around them and i'm 20 lol
#399 - On 07/04/2009 at 1:05pm by Elusive_Ness1988
Now, my mom does cuss in front of me and my little sister (to the extent of saying in a joking manner to my dad 'don't fucking cuss in front of the fucking children') BUT she's a good enough parent to yell at us when we cuss. Heck, I'm going to be 18 in two months and I accidently said Fuck as I was explaining something and I was appologizing to my mom within seconds.
FYL indeed; that mom needs some serious parenting classes...
#401 - On 07/06/2009 at 1:51am by hinavalkyrie
Gosh, people should take a test before becoming parents. Its like driving! Seriously, what has she been teaching that kid?? I'm a teenager, and I'm the only one in my family who doesn't use curses in everyday talk. Yes, even my 7yr old brother curses!
#402 - On 07/06/2009 at 3:18pm by TicTacAddict
Oh god. Kids these days, their manners are just getting worse. Once I was baby sitting for this (seemingly) nice couple down the block. The kids were really wild. Whilst feeding the children, one boy told me to "Eat my s**t". I told him never to use that sort of language, and it is very disrespectful. He purposely dropped him spoon on the ground. When I went to pick it up, he kicked me in the face and ran off screaming. The parents just shrugged when I told them, and said that my pay will be halved for not being nice.
#411 - On 07/18/2009 at 12:11am by Sharon_B
LUCKY ME! I work at a place where i can say "fuck you" back to the little kids! Best job ever!
#414 - On 07/24/2009 at 2:43am by OhWhatIsThisCrap
WOW. How effed up are children AND their mothers these days?
That's just ridiculous that this little girl told you this and the mother the same.
UGH. I hate girls like that that think they're much older than they actually are.
To all the people that think he must've done something to do this: You'd be surprised how arrogant and disrespectful kids at MY SCHOOL are. My peer's disrespect and mannerisms must have been passed on to the next generation.
FYL.
When I was 2 years old my baby sitters son said ass and I picked it up I said it....haven't seen him since damnt I can't believe k still remember that
tell the mom to watch her language or you will tell child services. a little extreme, yes, but it would make the point.
parents these days.. -_-
my parents are asian, if i ever cursed infront of them or anyone else, i'd be fucked.
thats sucks but hey @least C&H did a comic for you. . .RIGHT? :D
#430 - On 09/20/2009 at 11:41pm by nessiecave
WOW this is the worst I would have KICKED THERE ASS AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER FROM THEM! THEN I WOULD MAKE FUN OF THEM! xD
I woulda drop kicked that little bitch and ripped her mother a new one. WOW!
#439 - On 12/30/2009 at 3:47am by SimplySweetness
