Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you totally deserved it (2063)
On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
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YDI for having a selfish daughter
#1 - On 09/30/2009 at 6:23am by iamthestig
holy sh*t thats what i think!!!!! i HATE lame ydi's.
#114 - On 03/10/2010 at 10:11pm by ilovechocochipz
Meanwhile tolkienfanatic your Malaysian must be perfect otherwise you wouldn't dare criticise the quality of the OPs English.
Good for the little boy thinking "outside the box", but I don't this Fs anyone's life. It's just a learning experience.
#6 - On 09/30/2009 at 6:33am by wellinever
A kid, at 4 years old, asks if he can milk his mom. Then proceeds to ask if he can milk his sister. There's so much wrong in that.
Are you trying to be thick? Who doesn't understand the child would have obviously have been referring to the fact that his sister is the only one that gets to breast feed.
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ydi for not grabbing your wides breasts and shooting milk in your sons cereal lol jkjkjk get off fml and go buy milk
#3 - On 09/30/2009 at 6:25am by Xx_f_us_all
Agree with the first part. How loved would he have felt, right?
*power squeeze*
*sound of milk hitting tin bowl*
O.o "Yay, cereals!" omnom
this comment made my day, mercyFML.
@OP: YDI for bad parenting, letting your child think your wife doesn't love him.
There really needs to be a "so what" button. How is this FML? Your 4 year old is cute and innocent? Seriously, what the hell.
Pretty sure the OP knows this is no FML; it's just funny and he knew we'd get some Kix out of it.
Mother-tested, kid-approved!
#25 - On 09/30/2009 at 8:23am by BeeSkwaird
it's not even funny. the kid's 4 years old, of course he doesn't understand the necessity of breast-feeding. and hell, if he wants some breast milk, let him have some. obviously he won't be able to get enough for his cereal, but it won't hurt him to suckle a bit and if it reassures him that his mom loves him, all the better.
#98 - On 10/01/2009 at 9:13am by diet_otaku
Well, isn't that just awkward? Quite awkward. I hope you went and bought some milk after that.
#10 - On 09/30/2009 at 6:45am by Monsteroids
That's funny, not really a FML, more a funny family story for the future....
#11 - On 09/30/2009 at 6:54am by catatonicsleep
awkward... even more awkward I have a friend that freakishly breast fed her child until he was 4 years old...
I saw a TV show where a woman was still breast feeding her 9 year old daughters....They even had names for her boobs!
#16 - On 09/30/2009 at 7:15am by catatonicsleep
Actually, that's healthier. (The four year old of course. At age nine it's too much.)
The way modern society stops breastfeeding after a few months is the cause of many of the health issues children have nowadays. It's been medically proved. If you breastfeed them a bit longer they get much better immune system. 1~2 years olds.
Four years is pretty excessive too. I really don't understand people who breastfeed until older ages like that.
Why, because they're doing something healthy for their kids that society decided to frown upon with the birth of formula?? Ignorance isn't bliss.
#58 - On 09/30/2009 at 11:38am by perfectwinds
Actually, that's healthier. (The four year old of course. At age nine it's too much.)
Wow! At 4 it's still a bit wrong, up to when a NORMAL toddler would give up the bottle seems okay to me, any older and that is TOO OLD AND TOO FAR!
And part of the problems kids have these days isn't whether they are breast feed or not or for how long, it's chemicals that we put in our food to make cows and chickens BIGGER that is harmer our kids too!
Actually the mothers immune system stops protecting the infant at 6 months old, whereas the child develops their own immune system quite capable of defending the child. Breast feeding after that isn't healthier at all. Ugh. No breast feeding after 1, that's just sick. Your kids shouldn't be able to ask for your tit then unsnap your bra with one hand.
You still keep giving them immunity and nutrients that they can't get out of any other food way past 1. In fact, their immune systems aren't fully developed until around 2. Yes, their immune systems BEGIN building at 6 months but they aren't fully developed and still get the benefits of breast milk. You were a bottle baby, weren't you?
#60 - On 09/30/2009 at 11:40am by perfectwinds
YOU ARE SO RIGHT! When the baby is like 5 months and 29 days the breastmilk tottaly does what is supposed to do and then when they are 6 months it stops!
Stupid world health organization and their recommendation to breastfeed for a minimum two years. Pshh, what the hell do they know?
That simply sounds cute. But YDI for not explaining that milk is for babies only.
#20 - On 09/30/2009 at 7:34am by tomakobriefs
Rice milk? It's weird to drink the milk of another species. Drinking milk from your own species makes much more sense if you actually think about it.
Um, 4 year old's don't get what babies are all about. YDI for not making sure 4 year old understands that he is still as loved as he was before.
Obviously, your four year-old ought to know these things, right? He clearly doesn't need anyone to explain anything to him because he should be able to figure them out by himself.
#23 - On 09/30/2009 at 8:07am by cthulhu1138
"Son, you're too old! You don't see Daddy sucking on Mommy's breasts, do you?"
"I'm sorry, Daddy; I was afraid of the dark the other night and—I thought...."
"Oh...."
#26 - On 09/30/2009 at 8:26am by BeeSkwaird
THAT was you? Crap I heard about Breast Milk Boy but I thought you were merely a legend. I used to feed my wet-nurse chocolate so i could have chocolate milk.
#51 - On 09/30/2009 at 11:17am by RubixMonkey
I'm crying I'm laughing so hard right now! I love you, plexi!
#56 - On 09/30/2009 at 11:37am by perfectwinds
haha by the way its definitely not a FML moment but its a funny post. and it went through the FML moderation ffs!
i'm just curious what was your answer to your kid, i bet it could be a FML moment if you manage to squeeze the entire convo with your son! it sorta hanging, eh?
#31 - On 09/30/2009 at 8:48am by omaigawd
Not sure what the FML is here... He's four, it's just funny. Now, if he had actually TRIED to "milk" your wife's breasts in an embarassing place, like at the grocery store or at a dinner with friends, that would've been FML worthy.
#40 - On 09/30/2009 at 10:08am by shananigans
OP - that is a totally normal reaction for an older sibling to have. Honestly, if you weren't a breastfeeding family, your kid might refuse to drink his apple juice out of anything but a bottle, or demand Mommy put a diaper on him, or rock him to sleep.
Think about it - his world has just turned completely upside-down. This new little person has come into his life, and taken the one thing that was always his: Mommy and her milk. It might take some time for him to adjust, but it's certainly not an FML moment for anyone but your son.
...actually, that would make a great FML. "Today, daddy couldn't find any milk for my Rice Krispies, and Mommy said her milk is only for the baby. I thought I was the baby! FML"
#46 - On 09/30/2009 at 10:44am by LadyAlathia
This isn't an FML
I really can't believe something so normal about parenting got past through moderation...
really?!
This isn't an FML. Instead of writing about it, don't you think you should be doing something about it? I mean, yeah it sucks your first child has jealousy, but did you expect parenting to be beyond easy?
#61 - On 09/30/2009 at 12:21pm by containsnosoy
When your son grows up, that pick-up line won't work anymore.
#65 - On 09/30/2009 at 2:52pm by Witchcraft
Haha. The kid knows where the goods are at. Boing, boing...
(Also, this is neither FML nor YDI. Try again.)
#67 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:04pm by blastvortex
u should teach him about babies. Not where they come from but why ur daughter is the only one who gets breast milk and how shes not being selfish.
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Why is that four year old not still being breastfed? I hate stupid, lazy parents.
While I agree 4 year olds really shouldn't be breastfed anymore, how on earth could you call the parents lazy?? It'd be lazier to tell the kid to bugger off and no more. (Besides research shows it's beneficial for kids to breastfeed the first few years of their life, but not as critical as the first 4 - 6 months.)
That's actually hilarious. It's kid's logic. If someone is producing milk, why can't he have some? It's actually a clever level of reasoning.
how is this an FML? like really .. the kid is 4. have a laugh at it and explain to him he wouldn't like her milk :p jeeze, i don't even know how this got approved as an FML
#94 - On 09/30/2009 at 9:40pm by phoenix03
Everynight when I was little my mom and dad used to have a midnight snack. What did they have?Well my dad had a nice serveing of milk, and my mom had a nice big nut to munch on.
#95 - On 09/30/2009 at 10:44pm by neon_shoes
"Milk" my wife's breasts. LMAO!!!! This is classic. I can not stop laughing. It gets funnier every time I read it.
dude, that is so not an fml and it's everyday stuff. this is nothing so wtf?
#103 - On 10/02/2009 at 8:43pm by haleycstar
The woman probably breastfed him until recently for him to think like that. You shouldn't be able to remember being breastfed, even if it was up to 2 years. Most kids can't remember that far back, and if they can, it's pretty foggy.
I'm all for breastfeeding, but by 4 it becomes more like incest, and as for that English woman breastfeeding her 8 year old, thats just fucked up. If you want them to have the health benefits, thats fine, but at least put it in a glass. Having a kid that age suckling is rather disgusting. Some people might not think so, and thats their opinion, but in this day and age, a lot of people think of breasts as sexual objects, even though they aren't supposed to be.
#105 - On 10/03/2009 at 10:34pm by Sprinter136
Hes 4 GET OVER IT. I find it funny. And if you think this is bad, there is a mother in england who breastfeeds a 8 yr. old. she and her sister draw her breasts and they have named them.
#106 - On 10/06/2009 at 8:35pm by neverStopLaughin
get that breast pump out and give him some milk! its healthy! hes only 4! dont let him milk his mom or drink directly from her breast..but if she pumps it...chills it and pours it on his cereal i dont think its that much of a big deal. hes her child
I agree with #3 your son is a genius and that was the funniest thing I've read in a LONG time
#109 - On 10/18/2009 at 10:46am by poeticvibez07
Well why not just give him some of her milk pump it out, it's not bad for him and some people breast feed their kids that long.
#1, the kid was saying that his sister is selfish for not sharing her breast milk, because he'd probably seen his mom breast feeding his sister and figured that all girls of all ages have breast milk.
#112 - On 01/17/2010 at 10:11pm by anonymous45610
