Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Learning moment
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Little shit
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
Ungrateful
Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML
Kids say the darndest things
Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML
Top comments
evolution8 9
I hope you didn't give him that cookie and taught him how to speak
xXToxicPenguinXx 12
Oh kids these days!
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Comments (111)
xXToxicPenguinXx 12
Oh kids these days!
flamingarrow59 21
more like kids these days parents
lnheritance 19
That's when you reply, "Bitch get it yourself" and flick him on the nose.
JBChristian 47
That's when you get Arm & Hammer baking soda tooth paste and wash his dirty little mouth 'till it sparkles.
sicksadworld1317 30
No, that's when you clean it up with Orbit.
Brandi_Faith 33
I agree with what 27 is trying to say, more like parents and their lack of discipline these days!
Saraishi 25
Exactly. Kids are the same, the parents however are not. They rather be their kid's buddy than his parent.
kingdomgirl94 29
Kids are all like this. My brother, when he was a year and a half old could talk quite a bit; and one day while I was cooking he tossed a stuffed toy over the baby gate. Of course he started pointing and grunting instead of speaking, so I told him to use his words. His words were "gimme the ******* bunny". Its hilarious when kids swear, though a habit we have to try to not encourage! Good luck OP.
PizzaboyPB 4
It is NOT hilarious when kids swear. I hope you don't have children and all kids are not like this. Maybe you were raised in a less disciplined house hold, but that doesn't mean everyone is like that.
doodlecloud 26
No, I don't think it's funny, I just think it's kind of sad. But if you think it's funny but still discourage it then I suppose that's fine. We all have different views. It's when people think it's funny and encourage it, take videos, etc. that we have a problem.
mellyski 25
Chill out #51, my friends never swear and their daughter busted out a swear word. The mum is a teacher and explained to me that if the child is young, you're encouraging them to speak and learn words, to then turn around and tell them they can't say certain words is too hard for them to understand, when they get to about 3 you can explain good words and bad words. But it's got nothing to do with a disciplined family. Children pick up everything, they're little chubby learning machines
HylianTwilight 21
Annnnnd on a lighter, pointless note.... #35, Orbit is too nice for a little cuss machine. Arm and hammer would be far more satisfying. >:3
xXToxicPenguinXx 12
Well then again parents were once children of course. Most of the time it is the parents fault, but it could be other adults in their life that they learn words like that from or maybe a fellow classmate that may have learned that word as well
samomaha 17
RE #57, lwtumn, yeah, I laugh every time you say a word like that!
evolution8 9
I hope you didn't give him that cookie and taught him how to speak
JBChristian 47
Yeah, the little brats mouth was already rotten the way it was.
hhgrehkjj 9
lol
Nilorak 24
At least he said please. :)
music_is_life22 12
Yes, that's definitely the most important part, he learned his please and thank-you's.XD
mattyiscool123 26
Exactly
Stryker78cRS 15
Nah he didn't mean to say please.. It's part of the phrase bitch please. If it was please, bitch or bitch, please then yes
Kyle1dc 17
Ladies and gents, our future generation...
Rozay333 36
Kids say the darndest things. Lol
ZachColeA 6
It's from a show guys
WhatsOpTic 11
Better give em the cookie
fantasyworld 37
I wouldn't give him the cookie.
Welshite 39
Wrong! Those are two words; not one. No cookies for him.
AlphaOmega0106 18
The kid was 3, don't go all grammar police on him.
Rainhawk94 27
The joke. ____________ Your head
thatnucca 36
Wow... I hope he scored himself an ass whopping with that mouth...
rebeleous 14
He's three. He obviously doesn't actually know what it means
Stryker78cRS 15
Good point
briang959 47
If you still gave him the cookie, maybe he knows something we don't.
ckerane 16
haha burned by your brother