Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
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Top comments
DaMann360 19
"Thats just nasty" *Cleveland voice
Kruiser 16
Could be worse, it could be poopy lavender
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Comments (48)
thedeadmen 14
How old is he ? And was it a revenge
thatsdndn1 19
Does it matter if it was a revange or not!? Thats nasty.. But sorry op i think you're brother is funny!
thedeadmen 14
It would matter we dont know if its ydi or fyl
eyedea84 5
your* and it is spelled revenge. not to be an ass or anything, but wow.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Doesn't really need to be revenge when it comes to siblings.
DaMann360 19
"Thats just nasty" *Cleveland voice
hugozac88 22
I wonder if OP is pissed off
Kamon97 23
Dick move bro
Smoxxii 17
I dunno, 28. How would you feel if I peed in your vaporizer? I bet you love the smell of urine? But I don't think OP would've posted it as an FML if they weren't... But I see what you tried to do there.
lex1459 38
I'd love to tell you a quick fix for this but unfortunately I don't think there are many.
niallo 23
You could start with opening the windows.
Wizardo 34
Burn bread and just make it waft around the house, it annihilates any bad smell - you're welcome.
Kruiser 16
Could be worse, it could be poopy lavender
incoherentrmblr 22
Or vomit lavender.
klovemachine 24
Or **** lavender :O
Sandman366 6
35-Vomit-puke lavender is worse. (Personally I'd say rotten meat could be worse, but doesn't roll off the tongue quite so easily.)
IllestRated 17
Time for an old fashion ass kicking.
michelleJ11 25
How could he think that was funny? I'm wondering how old your brother is.
Bumblebrea99 14
What isn't hilarious about a house smelling like human urine!
laden_swallow09 35
Everything. Everything isn't hilarious about the odor of human filth.
Smoxxii 17
Yes, 15! Lets all laugh while gagging over the stench! :)
keirookami 11
21 and drunk is why he thought it was funny
JD1147 27
Maybe your brother is related to my cat. He likes to piss in things too.
JD1147 27
It's ok, thumb down all you want.. I don't like it either.
skyeyez9 25
I heard cat pee smell is very difficult to get rid of too. It has Microscopic crystals in it that are very hard to remove from fabric.
LanaRenee13 6
my satanic cat does this too. I tell her she's lucky she's adorable.
JD1147 27
Does your satanic cat play death metal and does its head spin around in circles?
Joesyy 6
I have a hard time imagine that smell..
RadicalViews 6
Why would you want to imagine that smell?
MyUsernameKatie 31
That's messed up. What's with all the people thinking peeing in stuff is funny? Is that something now??
ThatFancyPenn 18
I'd honestly rather have people peeing in things rather than thinking about how much "swag" they have.
maxhhh 18
Vaporizer? Just use the weed to cover up the smell of the febreeze.... c'mon now
whiteboy896 9
Are you stupid?
Harpy20 24
There are vaporizers for liquid potpourri that use candles or lightbulbs to produce the heat needed. Not the vaporizer for weed.
laden_swallow09 35
He's a junkie. Of course he's stupid, 17.
TehCezar 5
45: Lol @ calling a pot smoker a junkie
Meow3323 5
The smell of weed makes me sick.