Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML
Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years-old and got beat up by a group of 10 year-olds. FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML
Today, I told my mom that having watched my sister ruin her life having kids who grew into brats with criminal records before their teens, I refused to ruin my life the same way and will be childless. I then turned to leave and they were in the doorway, my sister and her two brats. I got slapped. FML
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Top comments
RabidBunny 10
Russian toddlers are badass!
Lights_Out_fml 6
Nut shot!!!
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Comments (167)
3027357mike 3
Ow
themaddog 0
Amen. ^
FurryPride 9
I think Ow is an under statement. :3
HowAreYouToday 34
Ha ha... I used to do that to my older bro too
je_suis_fml 11
She's adorably dangerous... smh @ the shit that toddlers and old people pull and get away with.
chris71sk8r 8
1-Your profile pic brings back memories!
Stonedmanalex 0
Yes number 1 good choice in profile picture
CryMoreFMLs 14
This FML reminds me of the guy that got the shit beat out of him for laughing at a kid that slipped in some mud.
Futacy 29
Here, in Soviet Russia, if you don't take little sister on rides, your testicles go on wild ride!
Futacy 29
Here, in Soviet Russia, if you don't take little sister on rides, your testicles go on wild ride.
texaslonghorn 0
"politely refused"? Yeah I'm calling bullshit on that.
NastyNinja31 0
Wait your old enough to have a job and u have a 3 yr old sister
Brool_Story_Co 17
He was probably like, "I have more important things to do than take your lazy ass to the amusement park." And then she punched him. YDI asshole, there's no need to be a dick to your sister
Brool_Story_Co 17
Way to mod the comment that I was replying to, now it looks stupid
K_kanaka 26
GROUND HER ASS!!!
EvilPotato 14
that three year old has some mad skills.
False_Stupidity 41
Toddler 1 : Adult 0.... But yes, OW is definitely an understatement.
Pixxio_O 11
She was just checking if you had some :)
mizuki123 8
#99 I don't think he can ground his sister..
Skulll 13
Thats what you get for messing with toddlers.
iamjesus00 0
You're a bitch
Jvr91 8
2 shouldn't you be rioting
Skulll 13
nope im quite safe up north.
themaddog 0
61- if you haven't heard, the riots are in London. She does not live in London. But it's okay if you are a dumbass, because I dont hate you for it.
Brool_Story_Co 17
Actually they are rioting in other cities now too. Like Birmingham, Manchester, and Liverpool. Watch the news a bit bro.
Brool_Story_Co 17
61- The is no rioting that far north
shanie123 10
ouch....kids are something else aren't they
snade 0
She's not going tomorrow is she?
Carpy 8
Something else? Yea. They're pains in the ass, especially an undisciplined brat like this one seems to be.
Lights_Out_fml 6
Nut shot!!!
slightlypyro1996 4
I find this hard to ********** to ********** to
crap5874 4
Awesome
TiffanyTX 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Aw. how nice. :) Remember girls either get everything they want or beat the crap out of you. YDI
chris71sk8r 8
No they don't.
peoplebecrazy 0
^^
beetboxboy 9
Well if it involves hitting a guys balls, then thats true
rulerofwow 0
yeah, things can get messy when a girl doesn't get what SHE wants >.>
RabidBunny 10
Russian toddlers are badass!
j_cat187 19
Omfg dude word for word I dident even see ur comment crazy...
jtoy 0
In Soviet Russia nuts punch you!!
im_bored_tired 12
damn. that must hurt? punch her in the boobs. that hurts girls like it hurts us being hit in the balls.
vballchck 0
I'm guessing his 3 year old sister doesn't have boobs, but nice effort
themaddog 0
It doesn't hurt as horribly. I would know. I have both.
mchakkiwala 0
if you're a fat dude, you have man boobs or "moobs" not boobs
Babalu722 3
im not sure anything is comparable to a swift nutshot
themaddog 0
32- I'm not fat. But I do have both.
SW500 13
You apparently have never had a large inguinal hernia repair.
SW500 13
You apparently have never had a large inguinal hernia repair.
TBMFan 0
You're Stupid. She's. Only. THREE. Frikken. Years. Old. -.-
purpleninjaa 0
9 - she's three years old you dumbass. You can't punch her back. If you do your in trouble.
Link5794 18
Well, an inguinal hernia is in the same area.
Link5794 18
Well, an inguinal hernia is in the same area.
AllyCat23 9
Next time when you refuse give her some candy or something to distract her. It works with my nephew!!
404wan 19
that way he wont learn to accept "no" and that he wont always get his way though.
Perdition 4
There's no kitchen for her at an amusement park... What does she want to go there for?
EmilyShmemily496 0
11 You did NOT just go there.
LaughinStock 16
11 that wasn't funny :-/
some1azn 0
You make little girls cook for you? Pedo? ...
BelleBelle_fml 11
If you want your woman to always be in the kitchen, then she will never be in your bed.