Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML
Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML
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Top comments
bobdole 0
are you a guy or a girl? it would be funnier if you were a guy.
Capybara 0
Like father like son, sadly. If this is true, your family has some serious issues.
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Comments (87)
bobdole 0
are you a guy or a girl? it would be funnier if you were a guy.
Gorsbug823 0
haha that's funny
chelzy 0
so true. I would love to see that. btw, u just got pent up the ass.
WTFbbqLOLcatz 0
Haha, that is a damn good one:) Highfive
Capybara 0
Like father like son, sadly. If this is true, your family has some serious issues.
icekitten14 12
Holy crap I hope it's a guy, just so OP can say that.
crissycat07 0
aweee D:
CaptainCasual 0
Might need to work on your attitude a bit. Normally, parent's don't call their children bitches unless they deserve the title.
Sunbolt 0
or their drunk as shit
Angi95 3
Or bad parents.
EmoRockChic 11
That's not true..... I would know.....
feven 32
Is that why you're an emo chick sweetie?
Kazze 31
I see you earned the title, 100.
carpenoctern 19
This isn't true; I've been called a bitch and worse by my mum for not bringing my laptop home from boarding school so she can use it.
proofofapyro 0
That's ******* hilarious
blacklagoon_fml 0
Sounds like a problem family... little kid calling people a bitch, you being a bitch enough for your parents to actually use the word, especially when a 6 year old can hear.
bezach 0
my step dad uses **** in every sentance and if I say hell I get grounded for a mount h...god I hate step parents
alwaysalady 0
kids are like sponges. they soak it all in and then drip out information at inappropriate moments.
fairygirl88 5
lol
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
Definitely using that comparison from now on. :)
ZING_MASTER 0
INTERGENERATIONAL ZING!!!
MxTori 0
OD. I would have slapped him, then ask.