Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (111693) - you totally deserved it (13650)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
HAHAHAHAH. I'm a girl, so I wouldn't particularly know, but something tells me there are fewer faster ways to lose a hard-on.
#5 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:05pm by tumornamedmarla
WOW! I bet that was a bit disturbing... and confusing.
#7 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:07pm by misssweetsweet
This is probably one of the funniest FML's i've seen yet hahahahahahahahahahahaaha
#9 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:08pm by blah_blah_bleh
Lmfao! Thats...Really random. Did you say yes? Did you cum? Hahaha. Wow. She's a keeper. She can make you laugh. :)
that wouldve been the point where i nutted on that bitches face.
#16 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:13pm by jesseheath
Hahaha, what a great way to keep a guy from busting in your mouth. Evil, but effective. I mean, I swallow, I don't care. But, there are few more vial tastes than the taste of semen. It's like bleach met buckleys and they decided to make little sea-men together (pardon the pun, I couldn't help it)
#26 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:27pm by cadenernest
"I mean, I swallow, I don't care. But, there are few more vial tastes than the taste of semen." First of all, if you don't like semen, why are you swallowing it? Leave it to those of us who enjoy it. Clearly the semen you've had has been from some nasty dicks, because semen tastes wonderful, and you are missing out on the good stuff. I don't know what "buckleys" is, but I'd also like to know how you know what bleach tastes like? Either way, I'm fairly positive that if the semen you are consuming tastes anything like bleach... it's not really a good thing to be swallowing. In any case, semen is a reward that you don't really deserve. Learn to enjoy what your man gives you.
The taste of semen largely depends on the mans diet. If he eats shitty food and lots of red meat, it tastes terrible. Vegetarians typically have the best tasting semen. So, dump your meat eating bf and go find a vegetarian and taste the difference!
#311 - On 02/20/2010 at 4:12am by freyjaspassion
I love you..marry me please..I want you forever <333
#313 - On 03/02/2010 at 9:30pm by ihailcommunism2
Well? Do you?
Maybe she didn't feel comfortable with blowing an Atheist (or Christian if she's Atheist)...even though she's not really a good Christian if she is.
Every guys worst nightmare. Cock blocked by the man himself.
Shes a mean one though, I hope you answered yes
#30 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:28pm by llSgtScopell
lol #15 I think I'd rather not get head than get blue-balled by a jesus freak.
#33 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:29pm by ninefuckedlives
rofl 25. And #16 def. You shoulda punched her in the nose and gave her an Angry Dragon
#34 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:30pm by tehhotness
OH MY GOD THAT SUCKS.
You should've said something along the lines of Satanism, then finished yourself off... in her face, since she was down there anyways.
Agreed@ #37, Jesus would have wanted you to bust in her face anyways.
#39 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:35pm by tznferrofan
that's not an FML, that's a funny blowjob story. not only did you get head, you have something to talk about. you win
What a bitch. Waiting to ask you such an inane question until that precise moment.
Usually people who ask that think they're holier-than-thou and that they are clean and pure in the eyes of the lord. So, wouldn't giving you head be, you know, a sin? Oh well, hypocrisy is the name of the game in religion.
She sounds like a nutcase..who the hell would say something like that in that situation...gee.
#43 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:40pm by Ashleeduhh
a head is that large, round, hard thing on your neck. it generally has 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth, ears, hair, qand a brain on the inside.
stupid people have made it a sexual term for some reason though
i'm going to be honest, it makes me a little nervous that someone has to ask what head is.... ask your parents next time, don't ask the people on fml...
#54 - On 03/26/2009 at 3:56pm by girlygirl88
I agree with #54, If you don't know what head is, please don't learn it from fml.
...in fact, don't ask anyone on the internet. about anything. because the internet is not kind and will use the opportunity to ruin you.
That's when most dudes would say "I've got your Jesus right here baby"
ERM...what a random comment. Christ. I mean, Jesus...
#58 - On 03/26/2009 at 4:11pm by Neenertastic
Simply because people keep asking, "head" in this context is oral sex. And for those of you who didn't know that, please go to a more age-appropriate site (if you're a young'n) or get out more (if you're older and particularly sheltered).
HAHAHAHA that reminds me of the girl who said she wouldnt suck a guy cuz she was a vegetarian! hahaha poor guy but at least its a funny let buzz kill (;
#65 - On 03/26/2009 at 4:37pm by piderman13
I would have replied "no but you have the lips of an angel" hahahaha
#66 - On 03/26/2009 at 4:40pm by nitromist77
#61
You forgot that some people here do not speak english currently (for example, I'm French), and thats why sometimes some expressions like "a head" may be hard to understand. So use your brain before making stupid jugements like that.
If you don't know what any word is look it up on urbandictionary.com. I recommend it for any people who don't know english slang too well for any variety of reasons.
HAHAHA oh this FML is great!
#71 head is the stupidest most well known phrase for a bj everr. i dont care where your from hahaha most kids learning foreign languages wanna learn the dirty stuff first so they should know hahaha
#73 - On 03/26/2009 at 5:04pm by piderman13
I would have killed her, just on the principle.
I once smacked a guy when he decided to stop while he was giving me head. No fucking excuse for doing that.
#75 - On 03/26/2009 at 5:12pm by BlondePsycho
LOL #29
that's great. i wouldnt've done that but i've done similar random things like it.
girls are reallyyy random and our thought process will never be understood.
LOL dude what a fucking mood-killer. She's must be some sort of idiot or some sort of BITCH!
#79 - On 03/26/2009 at 5:33pm by justjayit
learning another language is like learning your first language, you should just learn all the basic words first and then the dirty slang ones, especially with english. You pretty much need to know those to be on this website so if you dont, just dont even bother.
but this conversations shouldnt even be about this, its about the FML and it is slightly funny. If she's a Christian shes not a very good one, neither is the OP if he is too.
Should've told her "Sure, He commanded me to cum on your face!" :)
#83 - On 03/26/2009 at 5:52pm by csigabajnok
OH God that sounds painful I hope you didnt get blue balls but by the sound of it they were probably blue berries since you were about to cum
#84 - On 03/26/2009 at 5:54pm by ZiggyMorrison
I think it would have been better for her to ask that question after you bust into her mouth and say "OH SWEET JESUS". Then you can say you are only religious when you feel the power inside of you about to come out.
#85 - On 03/26/2009 at 5:57pm by thebigslim
"You pretty much need to know those to be on this website so if you dont, just dont even bother"
I don't agree.
Just because you might not be able to understand a few words then you "just don't even bother"?
You say : "you need to know those" haha, and how?
Dude that's the way you learn slang ! By looking at some websites like these ! I knew what a head was, but I have learned a lot more, just by reading these little stories. And I think it's dumb to reject people when they ask what a word means!
AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!that just made my night so much better!
now i know a good one to use as a cock blocker when the guy's creepy/nasty ^_^ but i prolly wouldn't start then stop like that....she obviously didn't believe in Jesus then if she wanted to be that evil!
#87 - On 03/26/2009 at 6:05pm by asortafairtale
#26
i don't know what kinda guys you suck off, but cum doesn't taste that bad to me.
#88 - On 03/26/2009 at 6:05pm by zombieholocaust
I'm a girl and I even know that if I did that I should expect cum at my face. That is just rediculous
#92 - On 03/26/2009 at 6:38pm by Hippiechic7
I'm not gonna lie, I would probably punch her right between the eyes. That's so ridiculous.. I side with #91 on this one. Agnostic, but I still agree. =\
#88: I'm told, the less healthy a guy's diet is, the worse it tastes. I've quit eating McD's and my girl couldn't get enough *blush*
#94 - On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm by podrummer9209
#93 - you are EXACTLY what nanospeed is talking about. Go suck a dick...Thanks and have a *great* day!!!
#98 - On 03/26/2009 at 6:51pm by voice_of_reason
Wrestler - you are the only one here getting all upset. Also, look up the word "hypocrisy" and you will get an idea of why you come across as such a rambling, babbling, self-contradicting, foaming-at-the-mouth lunatic. Again, go wrestle a dick with your lips...Thanks and have a great day!
#101 - On 03/26/2009 at 6:56pm by voice_of_reason
oh jesus. what did you tell her? and did she finish?
#103 - On 03/26/2009 at 7:06pm by platypusrex256
The only disturbing thing is what she was thinking about while giving head....
#109 - On 03/26/2009 at 7:42pm by MJ_Alexander
Perhaps she's performing a classical conditioning experiment... making you think of Jesus whenever you come.
i cant stand defensive christians like that. #93 take a chill pill christians are gonna get shit no matter what so just chill out and stop be so damn defensive. hahaha dear lord your insane. #107 HAHAHAHAHAHHA
#111 - On 03/26/2009 at 7:52pm by piderman13
#93, Wtf? Lol. You contradicted pretty much everything you were speaking against. How so? Well let's take a look at some of what you said...
"I don't push my beliefs on people who don't want to hear them." ...You're doing just that by posting this nice little sermon of yours.
"One of the main tenants of Christianity is to "love others" and to "not be selfish"." What about judging others? That's something you definately don't have a problem doing.
You say that you "KNOW IN MY HEART AT LEAST THAT I SHOULD WAIT TILL MARRIAGE FOR SEX! I MAY HAVE BROKEN THAT RULE... BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN ITS OK!" And then in your next comment you go and brag about it..."PS..... I get laid. You don't. Doesn't that bug you- a christian, who respects other people's opinions, AND gets laid more than you do?" Bragging about sinning?! Why would a christian do something like that?! I thought that "EVEN PEOPLE WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD SAY THEY DO, BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT CHRISTIAN MORALS ARE GOOD MORALS AND EXAMPLES TO LIVE BY!" The truth is, everyone on the planet wants to live the way atheists do, including you, because atheists have really fun lives. They can do whatever the hell they want to and not feel guilty about it. Embrace the fact. Denying it, especially when you're going to contradict yourself right anfterwards, just makes you look like a dumb ass.
"Like really, you need to chill out with the whole "I hate christians" thing. That's the problem with you atheists- all y'all hate too damn much!" In telling them not to hate on Christians, you're doing the exact thing to them...
You said that "I leave the judging up to God, for the most part!" Really? Let's backtrack a bit... You claimed that "YOU ATHEISTS JUST ACT SO DAMN SELFISH!", "ATHEISTS DO NOT SET A GOOD EXAMPLE!", "That's the problem with you atheists- all y'all hate too damn much!", and "I'm not like an uptight hateful jerk like you atheists" ...If that's not judging, what would you call it?
And lastly, "At LEAST I can make a joke about my religion! I'm not like an uptight hateful jerk like you atheists" If you were joking about all that, you had me fooled.
My point is, I got kind of offended by #91's comment too, but not nearly as offended as I did with yours, because he has good reason to believe what he believes. It's because of people like you. In trying to defend your beliefs you just proved his point. Why do I care? Because I'm a Christian too, and I'm not at all ashamed of it, but when I come across people like you it just makes me crazy, because honestly, you give Christians a bad name. You make us look like hateful, judgmental jerks. Unfortunately, there are tons of Christians out there just like you. And I'm here to clarify that not all of them are like that. I have absolutely zero problem with goths, satanists, cutters, racist Nazi's, jamaican pot-head do-nothing-in-life's or atheists. In fact, I happen to be a former goth, cutter, and pothead, and I was all those things while still being a Christian. The only one I'd say I might have a problem with is the racist Nazi's, but even they I'm still going to accept; I just strongly disagree with what they're doing. If you're going to trot around displaying the name of God, make sure you're doing it in a way that God would be proud of, and not blush at.
#112 - On 03/26/2009 at 8:04pm by enclosedrose226
People who ask what "head" is may not be under-age, but simply non native-speaking english users, and though didn't understand what the FML was about. ;)
And to all the anti-religion people : the girl was just trying to break the mood so she wouldn't have to swallow. XD
It seems that actually worked. XD
hahaahahaha
that's just about the funniest thing i've ever heard!
what a mood killer...
#115 - On 03/26/2009 at 8:34pm by iamgirl
makes me wonder, if shes such a good christian, why would she be performing on a guy that shes not married to?
Um, am I the only one who finds that totally adorable? xD
#122 - On 03/26/2009 at 9:16pm by Joo_bean16
LMAO 124 wins the whole universe.. That is the best shirt in existence.
122: Yes, you probably are. What we're looking at here is a classic case of blue balls: Woman almost gets a guy off, then stops. Women experience something similar when a guy tries to get them off and then they complain about how they 'lost it'. *shrug*
#127 - On 03/26/2009 at 10:06pm by podrummer9209
#25, 123= LMAO, as does this post.
i agree w #112. and commenters should rly pause to read the long comments. it takes a few words to establish valid points.
#128 - On 03/26/2009 at 10:12pm by nikkireese
#127, shirt? It's a meme.
#108 lol u tk him 2 da bar|?
Please learn to spell so that other people can comprehend ;)
lol wtf weird girl. and wtf is up with people writing essay's on FML???? just write a commnet and keep it moving. nobody wants to read ur novels
haha! This is pretty classic. I'm a Christian but unlike that nano dude and post 113 I don't try and push my beliefs on people. That's just wrong. People can be and believe whatever they want. In reality what I believe in doesn't stand much more of a chance in beinf true than believing a purple elephant with wings that wears a clock around its neck creating the world. For me God is something to have faith in on those really crappy days where you feel like nothing good will ever happen to you. Some people resort to drugs and alcohol like I used to. Some people rely solely on friends or family but really it doesn't matter who or what helps you as long as you can live out each day with some inner peace.
Also... anyone who thinks the Bible is against oral sex is incorrect. It says nothing of that nature. Just don't commit adultery and don't have sex before marriage. I understand a lot of people don't believe in that sex before bit but I think it's a maturity thing as well.
To #93 i am atheist and i got largely offended by what you said. Not only did you degrade what i believe in but you put them all in a group and smashed them into the ground like were all cutters and goth and potheads. Not everyone needs to believe in god to be accepted. I have about no problem with any of those groups.so instead of bagging on atheists why dont you get a life and stop being a d**k. Whos fair now bitch?
btw i have no problem with any other religion.
Btw, #93, you're being pretty hypocritical by saying that last comment. I myself am agnostic, I pick and choose what I believe. You obviously don't understand your own religion, do you believe in EVERYthing the bible states is true? Only then can you call yourself christian. I feel that if you pick and choose what to believe then you are in a sense agnostic. I mean I believe theres a god and afterlife, I was raised christian, but like alot of people I question my faith in said religion. I choose not to believe that Jesus was the son of god. etc etc etc. But I wont go into too much detail on my beliefs, now anyway just dont go knocking atheists and agnostics. Respect them, and they will respect you, don't claim that Christianity is the one and only religion, thats why they fire back at you with those remarks.
Back on topic, GOOD SHIT DUDE, lol thats a crazy way to kill the mood, shes mos def a keeper
*cough* anyway. I'm a Christian, love universal acceptance, God love you whether you love him or not, yadda yadda. Also, stereotyping Christians in that way is inaccurate. Not all Christians hate gays. Some may not agree with their lifestyle, but most believe that God still loves them, no matter how they live. So... yeah. Calm down, peeps.
#128... If you had bothered to read my comment you would have known that I'm not talking to you, so I really don't care if you or anyone else bothers to read it, and I wasn't in any way preaching. I was actually talking to one of the rediculous preaching people who commented before me, letting them know how retarded they sounded. So why don't you make sure you know what you're talking about before you open your mouth?
#147 - On 03/27/2009 at 12:28am by enclosedrose226
I meant # 126 on that last comment. Sorry.
#128, What I meant to say to you was, thank you for taking the time to read all that! Lol. =]
#148 - On 03/27/2009 at 12:32am by enclosedrose226
haha thats so funny! but i feel really sorry for you :(
geeze, the whole religion thing is a bit... harsh.
im a christian, and i must say im offended by some of the things said. by atheists AND christians. my best friend is a gay guy, and i dont see anything wrong with it, and i know im not a great christian for it, but im a typical teenage girl. i do drink, i swear and all this other shit. but i still consider myself a christian, its the beliefs.
not ALL christians are weird and evil. i admit that there a hell of a lot that give other christians a bad name, but not all are terrible, really.
#150 - On 03/27/2009 at 12:50am by fueledbyamy
#143, You really have no right to make a claim like that. Just as no Christian has the right to put all athiests into one catergory, you have no right to do so with Christians. I am a Christian, and I totally agree with you when you say that in general Christians are judgmental hypocrites, and totally annoying. But not all of them are like that. I'm a Christian and I have no problem with you being an athiest. I'm not going to force my beliefs on you. You can believe what you believe, and I can believe what I believe. I happen to be a Christian that does not in any way hate gays, or atheists, or anyone else. And I'm totally cool with pre-marital sex. In fact, my boyfriend and I have a pretty amazing sex-life. Oh, and he's also athiest. And I'm okay with that.
And how the fuck are Christians lowering the American IQ? That is the most nieve, ignorant comment I've read so far.
#151 - On 03/27/2009 at 12:54am by enclosedrose226
1) haha sucks for the poster, I'd have dotted her eyes.
2) wow everyone debating religion on here is a hypocrite. Atheist's are religious too. You are a dumbass if you think otherwise. The problem with ANY and all religion is the group of people who take it to it's most extreme. Many athiests are just as judgemental and forceful with their beliefs as the fundie Christians. Furthermore, many religions are open to interpretation. The Bible is written as the single biggest example of symbolic lit. Not everything in it is supposed to be believed verbatim. Religion as a whole is a farce. It was designed to instill an otherworldly fear in the commoner and has blown up into holy wars and debates on message boards not even meant for it. I make it my religion to adhere to my morals and live life to the fullest and not give a flying fuck what others think.
Atheism is a religion in the same sense that bald is a hair color. IIRC, for a belief to be a religion, by definition, it requires belief in a god.
Other than that, though, I agree.
YES, FOR GOD"S SAKE YES!!
LOL
Damn, if I were you and she asked for a pony I'd say 'yes'...
#154 - On 03/27/2009 at 1:44am by braFTW
#143;
"every other religion believes in science"?? Epic fail there.
Darwinism isn't the be all and end all of "science". It's a theory. Which, incidentally, many Christians combine their faith with. There is not 100% proof of it, it's a theory, there are flaws in it.
There is more proof that Jesus Christ lived and died exactly the way is stated in the Bible than there is evidence of Julius Caesar's existance.
#160 - On 03/27/2009 at 3:55am by claireylea
Whoa there.
["every other religion believes in science"?? Epic fail there.]
This much is true; most religions don't state anything about science. It's up to individuals whether or not to accept it.
[Darwinism isn't the be all and end all of "science". It's a theory.]
Do you know what a theory is? Because it's not "a random guess", like you seem to think it is. A theory is basically an idea supported by enough evidence that it should be taken as fact, but should new evidence arise could be proven wrong. Yes, "Darwinism" is a theory. So is gravity, and I hope to god you don't just shove that away because it's "just a theory".
[Which, incidentally, many Christians combine their faith with.]
True.
[There is not 100% proof of it,]
That's not saying much; you can never have 100% proof of anything.
[it's a theory, there are flaws in it.]
Flaws which are being examined and researched in order to smooth out the theory as a whole.
[There is more proof that Jesus Christ lived and died exactly the way is stated in the Bible than there is evidence of Julius Caesar's existance.]
Okay, this is painfully, almost WILLFULLY wrong. Don't want to seem intolerant and anti-Christian here (and someone will inevitably accuse me of such), but.
Let's see. For the existence of Caesar, we have the results of his empire, countless historical texts, and probably tons of other bits of evidence left behind by his empire. This is all just off the top of my head.
For the existence of Jesus, we have... a 2000 year old book that contradicts reality, common sense, and ITSELF.
But no, Jesus obviously was more likely to have existed.
There is TOMES of anthropological evidence that Julius Ceaser existed. The sheer quantity of his documented life puts this comment to shame. There is anthropological evidence to support the EXISTENCE of Jesus as a person, he existed 2000 years ago... whether or not he was right is a question of value, but don't confuse evidence with faith.
#310 - On 02/19/2010 at 4:51pm by PaulInTheSky
haha she was either totally fuckin with you, or she's really fuckin weird haha.
#161 - On 03/27/2009 at 4:50am by jadedinjuly
she's definitely a keeper, i assumed she finished you off. start shopping for a ring.
#164 - On 03/27/2009 at 8:29am by imnotabeaner
LOL at #29 (I feel a bit wrong for finding it funny, being a girl, but she really would deserve it) and at #123!!!
Win x's infinity.
I'd like to know the rest of the story
#174 - On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm by ZeroGravity107
#153 - I agree completely with your first sentence under "2)", and you are by no means excluded from your own judgment. Way to force your own very personal judgments and views of religion onto the rest of us.
#176 - On 03/27/2009 at 1:08pm by voice_of_reason
Hope you struck down upon her with great vengeance and furious anger...
@75 Do you believe in Jesus?
Wow. I just lost all ability to have an erection for a week after reading that. Ask her if she's been baptised yet ;)
#179 - On 03/27/2009 at 3:00pm by Floridaguy81
if you want to learn the slang i shall introduce you to urbandictionary.com
so when you go on fml you can search "head" and see multipe deffinitions and not make a fool of yourself
#183 - On 03/27/2009 at 5:10pm by dancin303
Okay, I'm a Christian, but if I were giving a guy head I would NOT do that. That's just wicked cruel. Plus I already know my boyfriend's views on it and wouldn't even think of doing something like that. That really sucks man. I'm a girl, and I feel bad for you.
#184 - On 03/27/2009 at 5:37pm by redsoxmisfits
#163 if she was a Jehovah's Witness she wouldn't have been in that situation to begin with.
#185 - On 03/27/2009 at 6:15pm by nikkireese
haha, this happened to a buddy of mine at college except he was going down on her and she asked "What do you think of God?" lol
#188 - On 03/27/2009 at 7:14pm by dmoneycivicsi
i'm an agnostic atheist.
if you don't understand what that means, look it up.
and i find this funny =]. he was cockblocked :D #187
^ So you believe in some higher power and don't know what it is, and yet you don't believe in organized religion?
#191 - On 03/27/2009 at 8:13pm by podrummer9209
#192 - well said. Smartest thing anyone has said on this topic. By far!
#193 - On 03/27/2009 at 8:30pm by voice_of_reason
#193 - I agree completely.
OP - Hope no one already said this, but you shoulda busted on her face. ALL over her face!!
#194 - On 03/27/2009 at 8:32pm by voice_of_reason
... Wait, did you just post nothing, then tell yourself you said something useful?
...?!
... I give up. voice_of_reason, you're an idiot.
#196 - On 03/27/2009 at 8:34pm by podrummer9209
podrummer... It's called sarcasm. Way to keep up.
voice of reason, I quite agree.
#199 - On 03/27/2009 at 8:42pm by enclosedrose226
#197 - brilliant, absolutely brilliant! But I think the crowd on here is not going to comprehend it fully. Besides, someone else already said that.
#200 - On 03/27/2009 at 8:42pm by voice_of_reason
Yeah, I know, but the impulsive round 2 couldn't be deleted... thanks for backing me up :-p
#202 - On 03/27/2009 at 10:35pm by voice_of_reason
Just to let everyone who wanted to know what I did after she said that....I did bust on her face and then I said " The power of Christ compels you!!!" #53 was totally right. lol I hope this never happens to any of you!! lmao
On the other hand, if she's good you'll be screaming yes anyway?
#204 - On 03/28/2009 at 5:24am by FoundManyLemons
After that, you should've looked at her and said 'not anymore'
#210 - On 03/29/2009 at 3:28am by hXc_cunt
LOL! I the first thing I thought after reading this was "Well, do you?" and then I came in here to see if anyone said it [hoping that #1 would have] and see that someone did. That just made my day.
#212 - On 03/29/2009 at 6:16am by youre_gayyy
Well if you do believe, I'll just assume it's a sin to come... lol.
#214 - On 03/29/2009 at 8:29pm by maiden_girl
Mmmm, #136, actually, I was not trying at all to "push my beliefs on people", as you put it, for I am not christian. And even if I was, there was nothing in my comment that could have been interpreted this way.
I just thought, and may have not expressed that well, being non-native english speaker, that talking here about zealots was irrelevant : I think the girl didn't give a shit whether the guy believes in Jesus or not : it's a girl technique for not having to swallow to break the mood. She could have talked about his mother, his math exam, but she must have said the first thing that came to her mind, here it was "do you believe in jesus ?".
and please tell me you shoved her head back down and said yes yes i do.
#222 - On 03/31/2009 at 6:33pm by FUCKTHISLiFE
...
She is the stupidest ho ever. Dump her fast. Unless you want to be reminded of Jesus every time you want some.
...
She is the stupidest ho ever. Dump her fast. Unless you want to be reminded of Jesus every time you want some.
Are you guys retarded?!
You don't fucking get it.
That girl has a nice sense of humour.
When someone is about to cum, like that dude, they usually shout "OH YESSS OH YESSS YEEEEAAAAA"
So since she knew he would do it, she decided to think of something creative to make it fun
And only a deeply religeous person would ask about god during that time, and she isn't cause she fucks and gives heads before marriage.
Was her name Jonali, lol there was a girl i went to college with that would do that to guys all the time, it was known around our dorm. She did it to get people to go to meeting with her for church
#229 - On 04/01/2009 at 6:41pm by turtledove325
omg that is wild! I would have gotten up and ran away. I believe in God and all, but in the scenario, she will turn out wicked crazy.
#232 - On 04/01/2009 at 9:41pm by thevaliantknight
well, that's one way to convert people!
I hope you gave the right answer to get her to finish you off!
#237 - On 04/07/2009 at 12:02am by caligirl5422
What?
She went that far to prove that YOU were a sinner? Slut.
#238 - On 04/08/2009 at 12:47pm by jrod
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you..."
Ah, and #226 is right. This is a joke, albeit a twisted one.
id have been like depends on if ur going to keep going or not
#241 - On 04/12/2009 at 5:58pm by XxXBiZZoXxX
ROTFL X 100000
sry....that's phucked up and i usually NEVERY COMMENT on anything but this one i couldn't resist....what esle happened?? I.MUST.KNOW.
You should have shook your head and said, "Fuck Jesus." See where that got you.
#247 - On 04/20/2009 at 1:01pm by xhopefulsecretx
that's hilarious. so how religious was she?
wait maybe she sensed you were about to let loose and she wasnt done yet so she said that so ...yeah i thought this out too much.
#249 - On 04/21/2009 at 3:20pm by mattypants
OMG I DONT GET IT. SOMEBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN! I know according to the bible sex is a sin before marrige but did the girl want you to say yes or no to her question?
you should've busted on her XDD.. then said "of course i do hoe"
#254 - On 05/02/2009 at 10:59pm by dizzle_doneski
You should have said turn around and jizzed a cross on her back
#256 - On 05/07/2009 at 11:33pm by fedlife4life
Hahahahahahahaha.
If she was just being funny, that's funny.
If she was serious, that's weirdddd.
#250. Hilarious.
#265 - On 06/04/2009 at 6:30pm by AnnerNanner
#3 and #250 ha ha ha!
lol, OP, that sucks! no pun intended!
#268 - On 06/07/2009 at 10:54pm by silly_kate
LMAO @ #25!!!
I guess you can say The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Buahahaha, shit.....
#272 - On 06/14/2009 at 4:19am by LetItRock2009
hmmm..i'm going to say YDI cause i believe in God. :)
#276 - On 06/26/2009 at 1:26am by jamieskittles
Thing to say to that: If there is a jesus, he clearly likes me!
there. what can she say back to that? Nothing. ya cant talk with ya mouth full. XD
#283 - On 08/12/2009 at 10:38am by adamABNORMAL
Thats the best way to keep things going in bed, you may think YLiF, but really, she kept it goin a little longer....unless she stopped right then and there...
then i agree...FYL
Cock blocked by jesus. That's going down as the worst one ever. I mean that's just plain underhanded. Denying head in the name of the lord.
This makes me glad I only date women who are either atheists or very mildly religious. I'll only date intellegent women, lo and behold the coincidnce.
Wow, there's nothing quite so beautifully evangelistic as a good blowjob.
#297 - On 11/28/2009 at 11:50pm by AtrumMessor
clearly you suffer from chronic premature ejaculation syndrome and she was just trying to get you to last longer :)
"Do you believe in Jesus?"
"I do now!" *Blows it up her nose. xD
@279 For the love of God, annalou, marry me. <3333
#299 - On 12/23/2009 at 3:05pm by iambecomedeathpu
that's just a little bit wired. but I'm totally curious about what you said
#300 - On 01/10/2010 at 7:56pm by hmckay2010
omfg I hate HATE whe chicks ask serious religious/political questions when things are getting steamy! fuck dude I feel you...
#301 - On 01/10/2010 at 11:45pm by toxic10uhc
hahahah reminds me of the time wen I was ontop of a girl and she asked me " do u believe m the muffin man? " lmao
#303 - On 01/28/2010 at 12:50am by UsaTrackstar
haha maybe she didn't like you and wanted you to get blue ballz... that six but is frickin hilarious
