Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63514) - you totally deserved it (9701)
On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)
You might want to make sure he washes up first, Kamikaze.
#3 - On 03/19/2009 at 11:06am by Uniquitous
hahaha if i were you... i'd give him a high five for having a good sense of humor. that's hilarious... please don't tell me you continued to dress and left.... people knock on people's doors all the time. no biggie.....
Lol. Your boyfriend has a good sense of humour as must his mother. Sounds like he is a keeper.... assuming he was any good in bed that is.
I dont understand how there was enough of a time delay between his mom asking and him answering for you to get dressed.
Your boyfriend is hilarious. It doesn't seem like his mom cares about you two having sex, because I don't think he would have said that if she did. So maybe a tiny bit embarrassing, but not an FML, IMO.
#14 - On 03/19/2009 at 11:56am by andelizastrin
Dont do anything that you're embarrased about......and at least know you know your bf is honest!!
#16 - On 03/19/2009 at 12:01pm by Stupidpeople
That is pretty funny...good for him...i had a cat named Zoe once...the fact that your parents named you Zoe is a reason enough for an FML
lol i could see that hapening to me except it would be my girlfriend saying that, and me trying to sneak out!
#22 - On 03/19/2009 at 12:42pm by krunkrooster
Hahahaha, that's just awesome. Maybe he was hoping that if he is completely honest, his mom would think he was just joking.
"Today I was having sex with my girlfriend. My mom knocked on the door and I casually informed her that I was having sex. However, My girlfriend threw a fit, put on all her clothes and ran away. So not only did my girlfriend give me blue balls, but my mom thinks I am a liar. FML"
#26 - On 03/19/2009 at 1:06pm by TheAntiComment
To the sheltered goodie kid above me, having sex with your boyfriend does not make you whatever verbal diarrhea you just had.
Swearing every second word makes you a pimp too, tell your friends.
Zoe, consider it a blessing that he did not call you by another name. That would have been a different fml entirely.
"Today i was having sex with my bf, his mom asked him what he was doing. He said i was doing veronica. veronica is my sister/best friend/room mate/mother. Fml
Lol @ 34. Maybe we should all get married when we turn 18, so we can have sex and not be smite by thy Lord. In other words, "I married her because I didn't wanna wait any longer for pussy." Good idea. No wonder divorce rates are so high.
#37 - On 03/19/2009 at 2:06pm by SandyBearFTW
#37 A healthy relationship needs to have open dialogue and the ability to talk things out. You need to be good friends who can do other things together before you get to the sexual. Otherwise you end up with a relationship/marriage that had nothing going for it except for sex, and that is what destroys relationships. Realistically, if all you are going for is an orgasm., You can have that with anyone, especially by yourself. It is a physical reaction to stimulus. Pick the right person, and you will have an enjoyable life in between the times you have an orgasm as well.
This doesn't quite make sense... So your boyfriend's mom knocked/asked, you took a few moments to get dressed, and THEN your boyfriend responded? What the hell happened while you were getting dressed? Awkward silence?
#40 - On 03/19/2009 at 2:34pm by bonare0607
Today I realized that half the people posting and commenting on this site are half my age. FML
Today I went to share this and FML tells me "Too much FML submitted at this time - please try again later."
DoubleFML
Are we all this effed?
#42 - On 03/19/2009 at 2:48pm by Neenertastic
yes we are #42 because they won't let me post my FML either...
and the worst part? i definatley deserved it.... FML!
To all you religious freaks that continue to come on too these posts and judge others:
I thought God was the only Judge? Just for you personal enjoyment I would love to come to your place of worship strip naked and do the chicken dance. This would be followed by a lovely drug-driven orgy with hopefully all the young women in attendance, premartially of course. People can have sex with whoever and whomever they want since we enjoy something called freedom. Please keep your backwards religious views to yourself, while the rest of us take our chances and continue to be extremely happy getting off without a wedding ring. I am going to have sex with my girlfriend now for the second time today and I thank Jesus for giving me the ability to have sex multiple times a day without being married. Kiss my Ass Religious Nuts.
#46 - On 03/19/2009 at 3:09pm by Danny_Shakes
I like his steez, sounds like something I would do.
After all, honesty is the best policy.
#51 - On 03/19/2009 at 3:51pm by SmoothNuts
#45 i know. I was referring to her comment about the divorce rate. Not the marry at 18. ^_- She is local to me. lol. hot momma_^- haha.
hey at least he didn't say the name of somebody else.
best regards,
S
#54 - On 03/19/2009 at 4:19pm by dickinabox
its a compliment, your hot and he wants his mom to know he is doing someone that is that hot!
#58 - On 03/19/2009 at 4:43pm by Shadowflames420
To 46:
Drug filled orgies are the best. Make sure that your ratio is 1.5 females per 1 male and that 60% or more of the female are bisexual or willing to perform sexual actions on another girl. I promise it will be a GREAT time. Just remember to be well stocked in condom, about 7 per male attending should do fine with left overs for the morning.
#59 - On 03/19/2009 at 4:47pm by Shadowflames420
What's the problem? Obviously his mom doesn't care that he's having sex, or he wouldn't have said that.
Really, worse things could have happened. She could have walked in.
But seriously, what kind of mom comes to their son's room and knocks just to ask, "what are you doing?"
Honestly. They usually want something.
#21, Zoe is a great name.
Also, your boyfriend is pretty funny. Although, like others, I don't understand how he was doing you while you were getting dressed.
Not an FML, but really funny. I wish I had parents with a good sense of humour.
#66 - On 03/19/2009 at 6:48pm by agentorange
woooow, classic. somewhat predictable boy behavior, but out of the blue nonetheless. btw, i could totally see how that sequence of events would happen in a matter of split seconds.. c'mon, how many of us had been in a similar pickle? after the initial shock and uneasiness, personally i would find that rather amusing.. and nonetheless, whether kidding around or not, it's a prideful thing for him to say
I'm not one to single out any particular religions but really...
If you're easily offended by the shit you read why even post on FML? Seriously. And it's not like any of the arguments any of you are making are unique.
Good FML though. Did she make you guys pancakes afterward?
HAHAHAHAHA # 72 i read that one too... zoey (i like it with a y better) is my fav. name of all... maybe b/c of Zoey 101.... all of the girls on that show were SSSSSSsooooooooooo HOTTT
well, his mom did ask what he was doing. and he was doing you.
#75 - On 03/19/2009 at 9:12pm by King_of_Kings
LMAO!
that dude is epic xD
and how did his mom react?!
#79 - On 03/19/2009 at 10:51pm by CeltricShock
I don't understand, what's so wrong with that?
Unless you're about thirteen, you shouldn't be so freaked out about parents.
They were your age once, they have sex too.
Your boyfriend sounds pretty awesome.
well.
he was doing you so....no need to lie there.
#81 - On 03/19/2009 at 11:59pm by realhorrorshow88
I just love how there is suddenly a religious argument on a FML about casual sex.
#82 - On 03/20/2009 at 12:02am by youareindeepshit
haha!
my boyfriend once said, "just a second... let us get dressed!"
just laugh it off, that's really all you can do.
#83 - On 03/20/2009 at 12:06am by skinnybitch_
hahaha 76, 84... i was surprised no one commented on that sooner. it was the first thing i thought lol.
#85 - On 03/20/2009 at 3:52am by vvtumblesbee
Why do so many people have sex at their parents' house? What do they expect would happen?
Get a hotel or something, geez.
And I'm surprised 30 minutes is considered "impressive". I guess people have low standards.
Heh. At least his mother didn't knock, burst in on you and your boyfriend having sex without waiting for a reply and ask the two of you to read her lottery ticket for her, like my mother did. Luckily we had a blanket over us, but it was still annoying.
#92 - On 03/20/2009 at 9:30pm by TheNameless
#89 i wouldn't doubt it...30 minutes is damn decent...i like the name Zoe(y) i mean...idk... its cute i think i would date a girl named Zoe(y)... and yeah it could have been worse...she could have ran in screaming "harlot harlot" i mean... yeah... you gotta look on the brighter side of life...
Well,
your boytoy either has
1) a great sense of humor and, like me,
thinks his mom wouldn't give a shit and would just reply:
"Make sure you use a condom."
Or
2) he's a dumbass and you should drop him like a three-week old dirty diaper.
#96 - On 03/22/2009 at 1:03am by FuckedRoyally
By the way,
thirty minutes is nothing.
You should be spending at LEAST that much time on foreplay alone.
#97 - On 03/22/2009 at 1:05am by FuckedRoyally
this is like my favorite thing ever! so amazingly funny
#102 - On 03/22/2009 at 4:28pm by stfuchivonne
WAIT... AFTER THIRTY MINUTES?
your life is not fucked. i didn't even know it could last past five minutes.
#105 - On 03/23/2009 at 1:57pm by itskaaaaaaaate
hahahahahaha what, did his mom say "doing WHAT to her?" ? hahaha
#107 - On 03/23/2009 at 5:28pm by scarymaryisepic
Today, i was reading this FML when my mom walks up behind me.
she read it and thought it was me who posted it. FML
i bet that's the last time his mom will ask that question when she knocks on the door.
#113 - On 04/16/2009 at 1:50am by playful2088
"Today, I casually asked my son what he was doing through the door. I was shocked to hear the reply: "I'm doing Zoe." I was quite disturbed. FML."
...bwahahaha :)
atleast he's honest!
#114 - On 05/24/2009 at 6:26pm by greeneggsnsam
haha that's cute :)
at least he's comfortable sharing :)
#118 - On 06/09/2009 at 8:50pm by c3ns0r3dn4m3
