Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
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Top comments
then000bster 16
Just ask him if he wants one, then deny ever asking him if he wanted one.
Askzombie 14
Illuminati strikes again.
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Comments (103)
phatdaddy62 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Does your boyfriend drop acid ?
Queen_bee1234 21
What are you on?
phatdaddy62 23
Your mom. Your dad's next.
nstout901 17
What are you talking about?
Adree 15
So give him the damn *******. It most likely won't kill you.
applebramble 22
My boyfriend read this FML before I did and he said he's going to do it to me too with the biggest smirk on his face FML
MikeyScene420 17
No but clearly you are.
mallu86 9
I guess the acid burned you.
\ 28
#4 - He's on some next shit. And #39, it could kill her if he had HIV.
dannnngthatsux 19
Counter it with either 'dishesssss' or 'eat the kittyyyyyy...' when he's not paying attention.
applebramble 22
To Star Wars ? Really ?!
Askzombie 14
Illuminati strikes again.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Was it a Disney movie? Those things are packed with subliminal messages, or so they say.
jizzwold 21
Subliminal messages to preform oral sex? I feel like there are a few parents who might be a little pissed with disney if that were the case.
MysteriousX_fml 10
14- Yes, there are. Feel free to go ahead and look it up.
RedPillSucks 31
You do realize that the original snow white and the little red riding hood stories were full of sexual and violent innuendos...
swaggalikethat 22
There's a dick on the cover of the little mermaid, I kid you not. The whole Alice in Wonderland story is one big drug reference.
dancinwookie 21
I have the original cover before they made them change it! That caused some big shit back then, oh nelly! The original Sleeping Beauty is a pretty twisted tale as well.
TheNewMirage 10
I guess South Park wasn't all too far off from reality after all
jizzwold 21
It must have been a musical movie.
Dre27 20
At least in South Park it worked
AcieMcG 21
Subtext
swaggalikethat 22
Musicals actually make my girl horny.
TheNewMirage 10
Definetly a keeper then xD
then000bster 16
Just ask him if he wants one, then deny ever asking him if he wanted one.
safaeita 32
AWESOME that would drive HIM crazy :p
wellthen7154 12
Even better, tell all his friends to just whisper ask him every once and awhile. If he asks about it, tell them to laugh and ask what he was talking about. If he asks you, OP, act completely concerned and frightened. Start crying and questioning his health and sanity. THAT will drive him crazy.
Oceanborn_fml 24
how did he pronounce all the bs?
teyyoshi 19
I like ********
karlcolt45 19
and I like diamonds. now we've both said things that people never give us
Gingerette 8
I like to color with my good crayons. And that's something no one has to give me.
MooCowPlywood 9
I like turtles.
nana_star 27
I like trains.
rocker_chick105 31
I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
laden_swallow09 34
Downvoted you by accident, 26. Sorry!
steffidallasbfl 16
You're a girl why would you ever get a *******.?
mkcontrollers 11
@40. Are you kidding me???
TawnyAnarchy 7
Ummm, did you miss the blue line around His picture and the fact that it says 'mister' on His page? Lol, people are foolish.
JMichael 25
I think he's right OP. You were probably just hearing things.
howdoilogin 9
Maybe he was right.
JohnTheLad 13
Could be a brute that fellow there.
Gingerette 8
Perhaps he is simply misunderstood? He seems more childish than beastly to me. But I have been incorrect before.
karlcolt45 19
was it a film adaptation of Randy Marsh's “Spooge Drenched ******* Queen"? because it's all about the subtext