Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Same thing different taste
Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML
Today, I tried giving myself a bikini wax for the first time, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do it right. Now I'm laying on my couch with a wet rag and ice inbetween my legs. FML
Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML
Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend with a man I have dated for a few weeks. I'm so sore it hurts just to walk. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML
Chemical balls
Today, I'm aging, so it’s clear my ball skin has got more rough, and I can't even shave anymore without bad razor burn. Well, I tried Nair for the first time. My balls are now severely chemically burned and blistered. It was just 4 minutes of Nair! I was finally getting my sex drive back after a divorce, so I was trying to be ready just in case. FML
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML
Waxing pubical
Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML
Top comments
ThomasBombadil 31
Great balls of fire! That's what you get for waxing down there.
that_band_nerd 22
You've heard how much it hurts normal skin, did it ever occur that sensitive skin like balls would hurt even more?
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Comments (131)
ThomasBombadil 31
Great balls of fire! That's what you get for waxing down there.
buckeyed 20
Goodness gracious! Or at least, waxing them on his own. Yes, it might be embarrassing to go to a professional but less embarrassing than walking bow-legged and in pain for a week!
ravens4life 12
I guess you can say that he has some balls of fury!
TunaFireStarter 16
I think he was ovary-acting and is now a bit testes. There is a vas deferens between the pain of waxing and his description.
JustinKirby 20
Would someone really wax your balls for you? I've seen Daniel tosh's ballber shot skit and thought that was was ridiculous....
kandys8o 4
When you get it done, is called a Sack N Crack. I'm thinking that if you're going to allow hot wax in that area, spend the cash to get it done by someone who does it all the time. ..
arturo_s 10
Exactly, not only will it burn but then the actual ripping wax paper of your balls would hurt too... This was never a good idea
ThomasBombadil 31
Nicely done #74, nicely done.
mac8080 7
You made my day!
flashback.miss 28
ow. next time, maybe Nair? or stick to shaving.
rich443 22
Nair is a thousand times worst on the burn shaving is the only pain free way
cyanidesandwich 21
Until you slip and give yourself a vasectomy...
Sunflower20 2
Waxing won't leave stubble like Nair or shaving, although I'm not sure if that's preferable to burning/total lack of sensation.
Ray_of_midnight 22
Actually the instructions for Nair say not to apply it to "intimate areas". There's a very funny Amazon review for "Veet For Men" that says "DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS".
NightHawk387 22
That's not going to happen unless you're using a straight razor.
perdix 29
#48, I know Nair for Men says that, but it works great. The warning means they haven't conducted tests on testes, and they could want unhappy customers to get testy and testify against them in court.
southerngalslove 15
Nair totally works, j.s.
junkman6 22
Nair on the boys is a no no. I've seen too many idiots in the military try it only to have to go to medical because their balls were bleeding. Just use an electric razor. I'll take a millimeter of stubble over razor burn or Knicks on my boys.
wopchop12 8
Not really, not if it's your first time
perdix 29
#75, how did that happen? Did they leave the Nair on for hours? The instructions clearly state a maximum time (around 15 minutes) and they ask you to test a spot before clear-cutting the area. Far better results than an electric ball trimmer and little to no irritation. RTFM, gentlemen, RTFM.
junkman6 22
TBH I never really asked. I just released them from duty or got them rides to medical after They told me what was happening. A funny story though. I know one guy actually got blisters from nair being on for less than 5 minutes though. I know it was less than 5 minutes because he was my roommate at the time and started screaming bloody murder after being in the bathroom for about 5 mins. He also texted me a pic of his blistered **** and balls from the NACC with a caption of "never use nair down there." He had a fun nickname from that day forward.
perdix 29
#96, this is why the spot-check is so critical. If you react badly to it, you have to find another way, but if you can handle it, it's the best and easiest way to deforest down there.
Trym 7
Ouch, seems like I just got a reason to still only shave!
knight2109 12
Here's another, waxing can cause bleeding from the hair follicle.
UberNova 18
It...it even hurts thinking about it.
MissEmma_fml 22
John Bishop?
that_band_nerd 22
You've heard how much it hurts normal skin, did it ever occur that sensitive skin like balls would hurt even more?
cryssycakesx3 22
but it doesn't hurt normal skin
greeneyebeauty9 28
Waxing hurts almost everywhere.. "normal" skin too. I could only imagine how bad it would hurt down there. Not the best choice.
Cadillac4427 8
Have you NEVER got your eyesbrows waxed or even your legs?! different pain thresholds for different people, but it hurts everytime I get mine done....ESPECIALLY BELOW my eyebrows....
rinzlerkitty94 31
@54, you are legitimately the most annoying commenter I've seen since Perdix got banned.
theonex17 15
Sounds like you dropped the ball on this one
MixedGurl97 10
ouch...
davidislost 11
#7 You don't even have balls!!
touch_phobia 13
Just because she doesn't have balls means she can't say ouch? She still knows it hurts! It hurts anywhere you use it, I don't have balls but you guys say they're super sensitive so common sense says it'd hurt way more than normal skin... Jesus that'd hurt...
tukies 28
Well it seems like not feeling them is some kind of improvement to the burning situation at least.
Hiimhaileypotter 52
I don't think I could ever wax down there... *shudders* It just seems so painful....
ihaveasushicat 24
I can't imagine how much more that would hurt for a guy...