Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
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Top comments
luc887_fml 28
Cats control everything. "Dogs have masters, cats have slaves."
imp4ct 15
pussyblocked?
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Comments (121)
jillytc 23
lock it out of your bedroom
1217jonathan 15
If they can and didn't its there fault, but I assume they would have done it if they could
Enslaved 36
Whenever I lock my cat outside of my bedroom, he'll meow and scratch at the door until I let him in. Personally, it's more distracting than letting him be.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Or lock the cat in the bathroom... They usually don't do much in a bathroom
imp4ct 15
pussyblocked?
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
A pussy preventing another pussy.
cakefete2 30
Not blocking. It's more like encouraging OP to try new and interesting positions. A kind of cat-ma sutra if you will.
naarz 9
Loll pussy blocked instead of **** blocked thats hilarious......but seriously get that cat out of the room.
luc887_fml 28
Cats control everything. "Dogs have masters, cats have slaves."
SmuggletheBudgie 15
Dogs are mans best friend for a reason. They don't **** block or in this case pussy block.
Enslaved 36
I'm sure there are people that also had to deal with dogs not wanting to leave and get off their beds during. . .
nightbirdblue 27
I don't know about that. I mean dogs could be worse, especially a bigger breed with a protective or territorial personality. I've heard some stories of dogs interrupting things in worse ways than a cat ever could.
gracehi 31
Yeah, like my uncle's German Shepherd who jumped between him and his wife and snarled and growled at him. Silly doggy thought he was hurting her, but it was just a friendly wrestling match.
RedPillSucks 31
Or the dog that joins in and creates the human-animal threesome.
gracehi 31
^ Ew.
winston5 6
Ever heard of a door?
Sports_guy3 28
Obviously.
WhoWhat_fml 10
Whoa they exist?! I always heard of these "doors" but never believed it! *sarcasm*
minesbiggerr 25
You could move him or you could move to a better place? Like the couch or bathroom
isallwaysme 27
well its their house, they should be able to have sex in their room without the cat being in the way
Zebediabolical 43
Yes. They should. But apparently they can't.
RedPillSucks 31
Or it's Leona Helmsleys cat and it owns the house. Cat's saying "Go do your ******* elsewhere. I'm trying to sleep"
minesbiggerr 25
#72 c'mon man it's chuck norris'( is that how you spell it?) cat
DorklyComicFan 8
You're pussy whipped.
Atypique_souf 6
it worse than having your children in the next room,you should get rid of it. so u can feeel free whenever u make love
minesbiggerr 25
No it most definitely is not a child will understand what is happening and will be 1) traumatized 2) remember ( if he is young) and tell people without understanding 3) barging in while you are making love and need copious amounts of eye and brain bleach
isallwaysme 27
this reminded me of a really Christian guy in my class last last year claiming that cats were the anti Christ because cat backwards is tac (initials standing for "the anti Christ")
iknowiwantyou 13
that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I hate when religious fanatics make up random shit, it makes them look even crazier.
buttery_nipples 12
What is a tic-tac then?
Zebediabolical 43
The Anti-Christ's choice of breath mint, of course!
gracehi 31
I bet he was ******* with you.
perdix 29
#9, I hope that hypocrite didn't take the name of Dog in vain!
Joshwarrior 39
That just further establishes that the pussy(cat) always dominates the relationship
NessaMae 19
Honestly, if you really wanna be respectful towards your cat, take it out of the room instead of *literally* ******* around it.