Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML
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Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
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Top comments
the_real_dvd 21
I'm assuming you didn't bail him out.
SweetasCandy0609 28
I hope you didn't bail his sorry ass out let the waitress he was caught having sex with bail him out, I'm sorry your husband is a douche OP.
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Comments (183)
the_real_dvd 21
I'm assuming you didn't bail him out.
marulicko 19
I'm sincerely hoping that she didn't!
Sports_guy3 28
Husband: "Can you bail me out of jail?" OP: "How'd you get there in the first place?" Husband: "The reason's not important." News Station: "A man gets arrested for having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom." (Shows husband's face)
capthigh 16
HA I hope you didn't bail him out but I wouldn't be against you paying him a visit with some divorce papers
JMichael 25
Exactly. Leave his cheating ass there.
SweetasCandy0609 28
I hope you didn't bail his sorry ass out let the waitress he was caught having sex with bail him out, I'm sorry your husband is a douche OP.
jlmontgomery 11
I'm going to guess that OP probably didn't know about the reason for the arrest until afterwards. What guy would admit that to his wife when he is trying to get her to get him out of jail?
SweetasCandy0609 28
I think he did know why he was arrested she clearly says that he was CAUGHT having sex in the bathroom with the waitress which means they were still in the process of having sex when they got busted he didn't real have a choice but to tell her I'm sure she would of found out one way or another if he didn't tell and she really wanted to know the cop's would of told her if she asked.
apu_nahasapeemap 10
Think about what you wrote there #2, the waitress would have been arrested too. It takes two to shag. But yeah, OP should let her husband rot in jail.
BriCx 8
22 he was saying maybe OP didn't know the reason, not the husband. Try not to read faster than your brain can handle next time.
ctlnaaia71 8
WOW 22, you're a genius!!! NOT!
jococo7787 3
Sweetascandy, do you wonder why your first comment got so many likes and your second comment got so many dislikes? PUNCTUATION.
jlmontgomery 11
Ummm....I said that OP didn't know why he was arrested...not her husband. He didn't necessarily have to tell her the REAL reason why he was arrested. Oh, and it's would HAVE not would of. I'm going to guess you meant to use "would've" but for whatever reason you failed to understand what they taught you in elementary school.
Hiimhaileypotter 52
#83: I think you're just beating a dead horse now; enough people have ridiculed #22's lack of punctuation/proper grammar.
jlmontgomery 11
#118 - I know but since her bad grammar was due to my comment, I felt it was necessary.
Miss_Behave 2
I hope you kept him waiting in jail while you filed for divorce and changed the locks to the house!
Jjan04 14
Legally she actually can't lock him out of his own house until AFTER the divorce is finalized.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#18 where I live you actually can change the locks and lock them out even if you're married and if he tries to break in he can get arrested for breaking and entering even though he lives there.
nnnope 26
23: Punctuation, use it.
showmeyourears 19
18 When my mom found out my dad cheated, she changed the locks and the garage door opener. The police even had to get involved once because his mistress was threatening us and they said nothing about the legality of changing the locks and throwing him out. The mortgage bills do come addressed to her though, so maybe that was why.
AKAR2521 4
this is not school, stop being grammar nazis damn
speckledots 29
If you are locked out of your house you legally have the right to kick the door down and the cops can't do anything. Its their house too, you can't kick them out of it. Even though its highly justified.
FlutterLoud 29
No idea why everyone is being so mean to you
Memen88 16
Hopefully you told him he had the wrong number and not bailed him out!
vespergreen 17
Please tell me you did not bail the douchebag out.
awkwardloveannie 28
tell him to have the waitress bail him out. she liked him enough to screw him in a restroom maybe she likes him enough to bail him out.
SweetasCandy0609 28
She's probably busy trying to bail herself out or finding someone to bail her out since they were both caught lol
awkwardloveannie 28
she probably has tips from the day lol
BriCx 8
If a waitress gets potentially hundreds of dollars in tips a day then I need to make a career change...
ctlnaaia71 8
She's calling her husband to bail her out!!! lmao
ashleyylove3 22
"Oh I'm sorry why don't you call the waitress to bail you out, by the way I want a divorce." *beep*
Ray_of_midnight 22
Wasn't a Burger King bathroom, was it?
awkwardloveannie 28
do burger kings have waitresses?
Ray_of_midnight 22
@#11 nothing says she works there. Also, way to ruin the joke....
awkwardloveannie 28
I thought jokes were suppost to be funny
awkwardloveannie 28
also if she's a waitress and they're in a restaurant bathroom I'm pretty sure she works there otherwise mentioning she's a waitress is pointless
SweetasCandy0609 28
#16 if she wasn't a waitress where he was at then how would she know she was a waitress in the first place? try using your brain and read the fml next time before you comment so you don't look ignorant.
AKAR2521 4
most of you are making yourselves look ignorant for arguing with strangers.
a_wiener_d0g 15
#26 You should probably just give up on trying to get up votes now...
jbuckets_404 38
#26: Yes, she's a waitress, but that doesn't automatically mean that she got caught while at work; she could've stopped at a different restaurant on her way home after her shift.
gracehi 31
Let him rot there.
sunnyray812 42
Exactly, and he's stupid enough to even think she would. I'd said, "Forget you! I'm going out with a new guy!" He deserves to stay in jail and mope around.
RayearthNinja 10
please, please tell us you didnt bail his ass out.