Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML
Today, to get back at me for breaking up with him, my ex-boyfriend thought it would be really funny to post semi nude pictures of me on Craigslist. To top it off, he decided to give all 200+ people who responded to my ad my home phone number. I'm getting non-stop calls from horny freaks. FML
Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls, all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML
Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, I went on a Grindr date with a really cute guy. I thought things went really well. When he dropped me off at home, he told me not to text him anymore because his wife might get mad. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 35
"Bitch please I skinned one alive and turned into a purse." Is what you should answer.
DreamStatic 8
Return the favor.
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Comments (98)
Pleonasm 35
"Bitch please I skinned one alive and turned into a purse." Is what you should answer.
Gingerette 8
This was the best first comment I have ever seen. I might die happy, now.
strike2867 13
I'm not even sure what that means.
hippyhopgirl 9
Win.
DreamStatic 8
Return the favor.
YeahYeahYeahOK 6
By all means.... YES! Return that favor!
anitriarose 5
make her a blonde 16 year old girl looking for guys who look like Harry Styles.
mackdeezy 22
Well damn, what did you do to her to deserve that?
Callilah 13
Hahaha yes!^^xD
jw90 18
Made her his ex
cuppycakeslove 20
Well, it's time to change your number OP.
TyT63 12
or make her phone number an ad for kinky one night stands
TheDrifter 23
Craigslist ad for an "intruder sex fetish"? In her name of course.
Axipiter 24
I wouldn't recommend dating within the FML community. We're all a little ****** up here. Also, you're pathetic.
TyT63 12
#55 A for effort
CallMeMcFeelii 13
I'll give you an A for effort on that one, 55. Smooth move, man, smooth move. God damn it, 57! Why? Why!?
Llama_Face89 33
62- Oh yes! It's all SO clear now! How could we forget what you interpret every smiley to mean! Shame on us...
Zomg_Okay 26
The sarcasm excuse? That's a paddlin'.
Zomg_Okay 26
89 - What joke? You made a stupid comment and then cowered behind the "I was being sarcastic!" excuse when the downvotes started to roll in.
Llama_Face89 33
Grow up kid. :
RoboCunnilingus 23
Am I the only one who hates corny euphemisms for penises? "Wanna see my chocolate fire hose?"
golden_warrior 23
You hungry for a sausage :)
PenguinBitch 43
You want to take a bite out of my footlong? ;). Because I ate a pastrami sandwich earlier and I'm stuffed. :/
Rainhawk94 27
booo
Snazzy_Snaz 17
69? ;) no im 21 silly goose!
JaegerMayCry 13
Wanna cut my banana into pieces and put them in your cereal? no? okay ill escort myself out.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Sure, why the hell not, 48.. I need some potassium any way. No law suits, though. You're the one who asked!
IloveToLaugh143 21
Only if it can survive the fire... (that moment when you try to figure out if this comment is literal or figurative...)
Chanti_fml 26
Now we all know why she is your ex-wife... Because of her sparkling personality!
juststephhere 23
That's actually too funny!
thatonename 7
Or rather immature and completely overdone. The best part is, if op can prove she did it, he can at least have charges pressed. It's illegal to post another's information online without their permission. And extremely easy to prove...
chocolatefrog28 29
You need to return the favor, without a doubt. If not on Craigslist, OkCupid has enough creepers to keep her occupied for ages.
mFUNdo21 17
not just one site many sites. many many sites. this revenge shall be like ice cream, sweet and best served cold
mFUNdo21 17
I just grossed myself out by picturing cum on an ice cream cone xD
zandalee 19
...but very entertaining!
PenguinBitch 43
OP: "Last week actually." OP is secretly Adam Richman.
WhiteCrimson 23
We'll that just sucks. You should return the favour
deathfyre8 13
Well*