Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML
Today, I have a new guitar on its way. I forgot to make up a story, so now my wife won't be happy. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML
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Top comments
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Tell him to stop being such a treble-making bass-hole.
denver_ImC 8
So that's what kids call it now days... Woodwork
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Comments (59)
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Tell him to stop being such a treble-making bass-hole.
MrBoredomioo 18
*Laugh track*
Spider_Web 11
Bass in music is pronounced "base." Basshole would've worked if it was a fishing FML
BntyHntrSeattle 30
I'm aware; I'm ******* Beethoven!! You can surpress your sharpness.
kmaheynoway 25
those jokes fell flat
denver_ImC 8
So that's what kids call it now days... Woodwork
BntyHntrSeattle 30
I just call it masturbating. Or jerkin' the junk 'til it funk. Both are pretty rad.
RedPillSucks 31
Strummin' the ol' bang-jo.
jillytc 23
just tell all your friends he left in panic because your "wood" made his look tiny
andrekrivo 20
you wanna be careful when coming into my room cause I might be rubbing one in. that's what you should say!
cosicosei 22
I dont really see how they would've assumed otherwise... Dirty minded or just different slang where I'm from I guess. Not really an fml
Harshdfml 14
Be glad he generalised it by saying woodwork. Imagine if he would have said something like 'nailing the wood' or 'shaving the wood'. And good luck with your guitar!
AKGirlinSD 20
^What about sanding your wood? I'm a female and I just cringed.
thatonegirlnic 10
Best revenge? Write a song about it. Works for Taylor every time
fsomelife 26
About the guitar-building, you mean, not the other thing...right?
Enslaved 36
Build the guitar first, then OP can add the teardrops. :P
crazytrainer 5
Laugh at the joke. Enthuse about your guitar. Plot payback. :)
confusedAsFuck 34
You sound like a serial killer..
kmccain 27
@21 your pic matches 8's comment.
kaitlynjane 28
You could try inviting them over to see your guitar, but something tells me that might just end up making things more awkward.
RedPillSucks 31
Come on in and check out my etch... guitar.
SweetasCandy0609 28
Some friend you have their he sounds like a major douche.
Roskie 16
*there And friends **** with each other all the time. It's not that big of a deal.
AshaaFerreira 22
Do you have any friends? Because I feel as though you might have lost alot of them if your this uptight..... Friends joke around with each other all the time. When a friend insults you laugh it off then come up with a bigger insult!
nutella_girl_fml 15
#10 exaggerating much? his room mate is just feeling comfortable horsing around with OP and that's what friends do. OP probably laughed at whole situation.
Sweet_Meli 11
Tell them to get their minds out of the gutter :p
myoukei 31
For a second i misread what you wrote as "tell your friends to get their mind out of the guitar".