Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
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Top comments
The_9th_Doctor 18
just wow. maybe take it down a notch
jessBeAqueen 13
soooo when you cry...does it sound like your masturbating ? would create awkward sympathy hugs
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Comments (80)
The_9th_Doctor 18
just wow. maybe take it down a notch
BntyHntrSeattle 30
"Shhh!! Don't make OP cry!" *whispers* "What? Shit, do NOT cry on me."
TheCanucklehead 22
What are you talking about 18
little_excel 5
Don't matter, had ..."hand" sex lol
MissCharlotte_fml 26
18, go home, you're drunk.
DocBastard 38
It seems you should tone down the moaning just a touch. Either that or invite your neighbour in to help next time.
Snazzy_Snaz 17
Hush little baby don't you cry, momma's gonna buy you a boyfriend. or girlfriend
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Your profile pic makes that a hundred percent more ******* creepy.
Docbee 11
If you ended with "momma's gonna buy you a girl or guy" it would have fit in since it rhymed.
allie2590 31
You must be pretty awkward in bed.
MikeonFML 17
Kinda reminds me of those asian girls in **** who all sound as if they're crying
DWordHead16 19
Hahaha but Asian girls are crazy. I'd cry too if I had to shove eels up my butt. (You don't even want to know what I've seen) and to the OP, well... Like everyone else has said, tone it down or perhaps have a loud TV on..? *sigh* not really good with advice ._.
sergei_yusef 11
Did better than I can think of
jessBeAqueen 13
soooo when you cry...does it sound like your masturbating ? would create awkward sympathy hugs
Wizardo 33
Does that mean you have weeping orgasms and incredible sobs?
ariiewilliams 17
#63 your profile pic makes it seem as if you want it up the ass.
FelixVC1 21
At least your neighbour sounded like they were concerned about you. That's not a bad thing :)
the_real_dvd 21
Or... the neighbor actually knew and wanted in on it.
michelleJ11 25
I bet your explanation was priceless. But maybe quiet down a bit.
WantdDOA 15
It prolly was
ptoka 20
Prolly?... Prolly?!
macystar 14
No one knows how to spell anymore. Or they're just too lazy.
floozle702 7
"Sound like I'm crying" I think you're doing it wrong
ShinedownLuv 14
Maybe you should be a little quieter or, or accept your neighbors help!
RedPillSucks 31
You want OP to get the neighbor to help him **********?
TheDrifter 23
At least give OP some moral support to keep from crying.
graceinsheepwear 33
That's interesting, 30, I would have never read OP as a male, but it doesn't say, so anything is possible I guess.
RedPillSucks 31
Sexism on my part.
BadApple88 29
i feel bad for the guy. he probably thinks he's doing something wrong
michelleJ11 25
OP was masturbating.
Uramonkey 11
But master-bating is WrOng! Your dick might fall off! ~
PhotoSmith 25
I have been doing it for 25 years off and on. It's still there.
uktwo 8
What if op is a girl?