Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who is vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML
Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML
Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML
Today, my long distance boyfriend sent me a Snap of him fucking another girl. When he realized he'd sent it to me, he called me, trying to explain, "it's not what it looks like. It was meant for the boys." Two days ago, I made plans to visit him. Guess who's out money and single. FML
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Top comments
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
That kind of stuff doesn't just "sort of" happen. Sorry op. Ditch them both.
Pwn17 25
It's not his fault. He accidentally tripped and fell into her lady parts.
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Comments (172)
zwilliams753 9
Well alrighty then
ryanpreiss 17
You mean "I'm going to punch your face, but it will just sort of happen..." right?
sarah6786 14
At least he told him.
TheCanucklehead 22
Yes. Op should celebrate the fact that he was told that his girlfriend hd sex with his so called friend
zed34 18
Hopefully, they're not friends anymore
Arrow44 10
#61- I don't know what world you live in but usually I wouldn't stay friends with a girlfriend banger.
hcollins1 18
Who else read this in Jim Carrey's voice? But they're honestly not you're friend if they're going to 'just happen' to sleep with you're girlfriend.
ositoakaluis 16
hopefully OP finds someone new in Florida
fuckedPriceless 17
It's just intercourse...honestly I'll never get why people make such a big deal out of it.
misscalimar 10
Because it should be sacred, not just out there for everyone ^
HeartOfLead 24
Because if every one thought just like you, the human race would have been extinct long ago do to many STDs. You have to heads; you can, at the very least, use one to think (and no, in your case, I'm NOT talking about the lower one).
Henge 6
what, she slipped, fell, landed on his dick?
Snazzy_Snaz 17
it was just coincidence! Wrong place at the wrong time!
nurchok 15
Sorry to hear that OP. Thank your so called friend for being honest, then punch him in the face and/or kick in the nuts, then ditch them both. You deserve better...
Zaharra 10
Idiot.
fml121785 14
#71 Does your Jim Carey voice in your head also say "are" after every time it says "your"? Because you're totally making him sound like a complete jackass! Quick lesson: YOU'RE = YOU ARE Example: You're a jackass. = You are a jackass. YOUR = shows that something belongs to YOU or shows possession. Example: Your teacher should've taught you this in elementary school. YOU'RE WELCOME! :)
Sarahandlucas 9
Some people do.
winnerme123 8
It is what he gets for not taking his girlfriend to florida.
CharresBarkrey 15
129 - Well allllllllllrighty then
Charryboo 11
You sound like you're, YOU ARE a jackass.
ZingZilla 8
129, YOU'RE a ****. Did I use it right there??
Shy_Anne 10
Tell him your sorta gunna kick his ass when you get back
shay_serendipity 29
#129, correcting someone's grammar is one thing, but doing it so harshly and condescendingly is another, very jackass-esque thing. I know that's not even a word, but point is, you're a jackass. In other words, You Are a jackass. Good day.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
That kind of stuff doesn't just "sort of" happen. Sorry op. Ditch them both.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Bitch please!! You know how easy it is to slip and fall into another's ****** penis first... muggle.
jkmartinjk 16
^^This is exactly how my biology teacher explains 'random mating.' A male just falls from the sky and his penis falls into a random ******.
ILoveMyArm 15
I hope you all are not being sarcastic because that is how I go about when it comes to mating. Sure there are a couple of sexual assault charges here and there, other than that it works amazingly.
MrSassypants 33
Since your username has to deal with the love for your arm, do the sexual charges come from yourself?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
who u calling a bitch, ****?!!?
aLiYaaH_fml 17
What a great friend D:
Allennis44 16
Looks like it's time for a new one
MasterGamer591 13
It's not only his fault. The girlfriend could of stopped it.
Pwn17 25
It's not his fault. He accidentally tripped and fell into her lady parts.
DreamStatic 8
His fist should accidentally slip into his face at full velocity.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Imagining that hurts, haha aow
cutycat136 28
Sounds legit
JadeOmega 23
Happens to the best of us
afallingstar 22
Let me guess...she tripped naked and fell onto his penis?
evan_7899 28
Erect penis*
CobraLazerFace 21
No, he clearly was doing yard work with no pants on and he accidently used a leaf blower on OPs friend and blew off her cloths.
Pussycat86 18
Maybe his penis was too sort?
addioty 19
No no no! She decided to go commando while wearing a skirt and was bending over to put something in her car when suddenly, OP's friend forgot to examine his zipper, lost control of himself on roller skates and voila!
ChalkOutline101 7
Tell him that you two are sort of not friends anymore.
evan_7899 28
Well his penis took a vacation too
peff_fml 6
At least he told you?
subwaysurfers 13
The guilt got to him so that's good. He has a conscience. He's still an asshole though.
Uramonkey 11
Or you know... Maybe he was just bragging?
elephantsarecute 16
Maybe you should "just sort of" stop talking to him and break up with your girlfriend. Cheaters and betrayers don't deserve your company.
Olympiakos10 15
Or he could 'sort of' punch him in the face
ApollosMyth 22
Yea, then his friend can "just sort of" charge him with assault. I'd go with the plan of just stopping talking to him.
perdix 29
You should sort of stick your sort of foot up his sort of ass.