Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my husband and I did artificial insemination. At the hospital, they mixed up the sperm and didn't realize until it was too late. I'm now pregnant with a stranger's baby. FML
Today, I learned I’m shooting blanks and can’t have children. My wife’s response was that her brother can be our sperm donor. She has no issue with this. FML
Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
Today, a child that was born due to my donation to a sperm bank in 1995 contacted me. My current wife, who I met in 2003, is convinced I cheated on her and is filing for a divorce. FML
Today, we recently found out I'm infertile, and I thought we were both devastated, until my partner posted a drunk video to Facebook, basically celebrating that we will never have, "crying, nappy-shitting, soul-sucking, bank account-draining little sods." FML
Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML
Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
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Top comments
_daniellesays_ 10
Then there should no longer be anything "factual" about you two being married.
Chellybelly92 14
Whip his ass. No don't do that. Bad idea. But I'd seriously get a lawyer or a marriage counselor.
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Comments (151)
RivetingTaleChap 6
Well, that's a sticky situation.
nnnope 26
I don't think that really applies here, nor does this FML deserve to be made fun of.
Pandacupcakelove 26
#11... Isn't that what FML is for?
Dusty_Busters 15
Thins up from me!
nnnope 26
oh right, I forgot how hilarious it is when a marriage is destroyed. bring on the down-thumbs. I'm not commenting on anything anymore.
prestigion 4
you suck at humor
Pandacupcakelove 26
#49 People who post to FML know what they're doing. FML is for inappropriately making fun of sick situations, maybe the OP will even have a laugh at it. And you shouldn't get so upset about some thumbs down from people who don't even know you, it's not personal, they just don't agree with you.
twinkiefeets 17
49--yay
Llama_Face89 33
Jesus chill out. Why take life so seriously?
SiJSyd 2
Haha ur hilarious thumbs up to that!
ginawater19 13
#49, you sound more pissed off than OP does. Either way she gave her husband permission to let another woman use his sperm to make children. I don't even think I would be comfortable letting my husband do that. So in that case, she seemed to be alright with it from the beginning. But now that she found out the real insemination process no body really knows from here. She could take it lightly like she did the other controversies. Really need to hear from OP on this one. In the mean time stop being an idiot
feelingold 18
jeez there are a lot of trolls on FML today.... Is it a 4th July thing?
MadMaddyson 10
96) you do realize by her saying that there wasn't anything "artificial" about the insemination means that her husband ****** his friends wife.
BrotherPhil 35
You don't say.
King_paradox 22
Such a waste. Something better could have been done
SiJSyd 2
#49. Respect.
Yousuck24 21
Oh sorry 49, I forgot that FML is a completely serious website. I also forgot that fun isn't allowed on this websi- Oh wait.
Chellybelly92 14
Whip his ass. No don't do that. Bad idea. But I'd seriously get a lawyer or a marriage counselor.
Queensland 27
A lawyer? 'I cheated on you' 'Im suing you for all your sperm!'
Chellybelly92 14
Ha that's kinda funny too, I was thinking more of a divorce lawyer though.
buckerado 19
Did anyone mention the cost of artificial insemination? It cost a lot of money. There are other ways to look at this situation. Maybe he was doing a good thing. If he wore protection/was actually cheating(most likely)...kill him,grill his remains,find a dog and make him eat the remains, then burn the bones. If anyone asks where he went, tell them he left to work on artificial insemination...(the fore mentioned is illegal and most likely frowned upon in many areas. I HAVE NOT planned this out before.)
ShyAnn29 14
73, Obviously he didn't wear protection.
NoFlippinWai 24
80- 73 said If he was wearing protection then he would be really cheating. Read more carefully before you critize.
ShyAnn29 14
106, I'm not criticizing, I just misunderstood.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Actually... Whip his ass sounds like an excellent idea. Well unless he is into that... Then it might be rewarding. Huh.
Carmstro 13
73 don't worry, I found your comment entertaining :)
scubanick 10
Really, a lawyer is the first thing you think of? No wonder America is so litigious - how about a serious talk first....
_daniellesays_ 10
Then there should no longer be anything "factual" about you two being married.
Caitie_kid 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Getting that done at the hospital is so expensive! I actually wouldn't have a problem with my husband doing this as long as both me and the other woman's husband were informed from the beginning.
fmlaccountthing 3
You can also do an artificial insemination at home... just put the sperm in the ****** with something else than a penis.
spunkylady 24
Idk why you would be ok with your husband having sex with another woman for this.. All it takes is a jar of his baby juice and a turkey baster.
griffy14 9
Well kind of. The act of sex actually does a lot to increase the chances for conception. A baster and sperm may or may not work as well as the actual act. I don't see a problem with the sex part if everyone was informed.
spunkylady 24
That's true I did read about that somewhere. Nothing wrong with her husband sexing her a little before hand though instead if you ask me
LadyEvangelin 4
Wow.
kxxjoejoexxk 8
Wow at the fml or at how bad your comment is?
ImAFaker 29
Wow at both of you and the fml.
Wakachulak 22
And who came up with that idea?
imtooshy 18
How come I'm not hearing "my soon to be ex husband?" What a jerk! Sorry OP.
jessBeAqueen 13
sorry OP you deserve better... I just donor why some people are such jerk offs.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Not sure if autocorrect or terrible pun...
RodzillaX 30
Not completely terrible. Some of us enjoy such puns. :)
lukian_fml 29
A jerk off would at least do the "proper" method of donation. This is just fuckery.
KBurns207 17
That's all kinds of ****** up. I like the way you worded that. Make sure the divorce is just as real. Also, take half his shit. Guys love that in a divorce.
Virtual_BS 13
The toilet takes all my shit. Why would I need a woman to take only half?
DocBastard 38
I never understood the term "artificial insemination". It always makes me imagine artificial sperm and women giving birth to androids. Or maybe I should stop snorting dried eggplant skin...
Sinistra_Blue 12
Star Wars - A New Hope "These aren't the sperm you're looking for."
gc327072 30
You're right...these are not the sperm I'm looking for...
rabidpeach 5
does the eggplant skin really work? i've had no luck with zucchini
AestheticGuy 21
"in·sem·i·nate - v. To introduce or inject semen into the reproductive tract of (a female)." "ar·ti·fi·cial adj. 1. Made by humans; produced rather than natural. 2. Made in imitation of something natural; simulated. 3. Not genuine or natural" So, we take the process of injecting semen into the reproductive tract (insemination), but it not by intercourse, aka the process is 'artificial'. :D
Miss_Whipped 43
He's a doctor. He knows what it is. He just disagrees with the terminology lol
KiddoKS 19
He needs a vasectomy so he can't offer to "donate" anymore. I know someone who could do it for you... Lorena Bobbitt
buckdharma 37
#14- I would bob and weave her so she couldn't sever my conceiver.
Enslaved 36
Shoot! I always cringed at the thoughts of Lorena Bobbitt but that's a walk in the park compared to what Catherine Kieu Becker did with her garbage disposal.
graceinsheepwear 33
51, actually rather than a walk in the park, it was a ride in a car with the window down.
SpicyDuck 22
14, really though. I think women would be more inclined to sleep with him after he pulls the "don't worry I can't get you pregnant" card.