Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
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Top comments
Whytetrash 21
Having sex with your dad and his friends in the house? Awkward enough already
oj101 33
You could always tell them that your boyfriend was scratching your back to help you relax.
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Comments (144)
oj101 33
You could always tell them that your boyfriend was scratching your back to help you relax.
KatieEvelyn 6
Would your parents have believed that?
AngrySox 8
"Scratching" helps you relax?
mmmPoptarts 6
Especially hard scratching?
420Zombie 17
a back massage yo!
werid41 10
I'm sure there was passion in her voice too though.. Explain that?
codfishy74 9
That would be the most awkward thing ever
andyyroxx 20
Avoidable though. "... and I -yelled- 'Harder!'".
RydeOrDie 7
Family walking in on them is 100% more awkward then hearing her wail like a banshee.
codfishy74 9
Just the silence of them hearing her. Then the knowledge that they are piecing it together. Then not knowing whether to stop for fear they walk in, or to keep going. Decisions decisions decisions... What if they are on their way up? What are they thinking? What will they say? What about the boyfriend? Caught red penised.. What happens to him? Awkwardness in that way.
Mopmob02 18
LOL I like the "caught red penised" part the most!
muzikmaestro 15
I agree! I've never heard it put that way before lol!
jellyghost 12
Everyone has sex now everyone knows your having great sex!
pbonham 22
But it's her dad... I don't think I need to go into great detail as to why her dad hearing her having sex is a bad thing, even if sex is a normal part of life (for those that are old enough D:)
ShyAnn29 14
Yeah, I sure wouldn't want my dad to know about my sex life!
tjanus 2
You're
Whytetrash 21
Having sex with your dad and his friends in the house? Awkward enough already
nnnope 26
That first sentence could have been interpreted multiple ways .___.
ShyAnn29 14
4, commas can be very useful, especially in your first sentence.
FMLandFYL2_xoxo 22
Please tell me where #4 can put a comma in their first sentence because I see no place where they can.
YepThatsMeee 23
Yeah I think having sex with your dad and his friends would be awkward ANYWHERE.
lsfactor 4
Very true indeed...
oj101 33
Rephrase: Having sex whilst your dad and his friends are present in the house? Awkward enough already
vdauby19 1
It should read: Having sex while your dad and his friends are in the house? [rest of comment] But I feel everyone understood that...
SystemofaBlink41 27
15- I know... it was already beginning to scar me...
noellem23 3
Why? I'm pretty sure my parents know I have sex, what with me being an adult and a parent... OP might be forty... I think their parents might know they have sex.. you know?
louiseth 9
19 - Having sex, with your dad and his friends in the house? I'm no expert and could be totally wrong, but that seems to work..
azk3000 9
no it doesn't
chlorinegreen 27
I don't think it's the fact that she was having sex 83 no matter what the age but sex is usually a private matter and the parents tend to not want to hear their children being violated
ShyAnn29 14
91, that's what I was thinking.
marxistbkly 3
I know where my kids come from, and how my future brand kids will be conceived. Not a big deal.
Dead_Fox 17
You spelled 'stupid' wrong.
Aligator67 12
#15 Agreed.
94yhy 8
There are four things that got harder: (i) finishing, (ii) your boyfriend leaving, (iii) the punch your father will give your boyfriend, and (iv) having sex in your room in the future.
SmallBean 12
(v) father's friends
daphish 10
(vi) the awkward silent dinner afterwards.
JellyBalls 18
(8)- To hell with Roman Numerals!!
kkillaj 5
(ix) **** that. Roman numerals are awesome.
Keattles 14
Well, did he go harder?
mackdeezy 22
Its bad enough he put you up against the wall, but you sealed the deal. Im curious how long it took your dad to get to your room following that. I wish you luck OP, but you still deserve it.
doubleddun 9
Why would her dad want to go in her room? It's the same for them seeing their children having sex as the child seeing the parents having sex.
Hillaryy789 9
What are you doing having sex while your dad is home? &Even worse when he has friends over?
ShyAnn29 14
It is possible that when they started having sex, her dad and his friends weren't there.
Brandonep 13
If I was in OP's situation and that happened I would probably stop immediately, nothing good could come of continuing.
valleyshooter 8
I would have finished. Might as well get something out of this situation. Things were inevitably going to be awkward after regardless.
toooldforthis 19
You can hear silence?? That's awesome! I wish I could hear silence!
Enslaved 36
Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again
shoopd 19
And the words of the OP are banging on the bedroom wall!
SerpentBoy 8
I'm not going to come down on you for taking the train to pound town while your parents are home because it does add an element of adventure and excitement.... but if you can keep your mouth shut during the fun, have your fun somewhere else..
SerpentBoy 8
can't