Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
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Top comments
golfer_boi 10
Your boyfriend is a legend.
NeDaroft 5
So when's the funeral?
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Comments (96)
golfer_boi 10
Your boyfriend is a legend.
journeytotheend 16
He "was"
CorruptAngel920 18
13, Legends never die.
brackaman 18
He is legend. He may end up dying in the end, but he'll at least die proving to your next suitor what not to do.
codyjohn17 5
Do you know who else never dies? Batman
Sir_ND_Pity 35
22 - 13 is right. No one calls me by my first name and disrespects my daughter like that and lives to see another day
mb2_native 15
22, the person may die, but the legend doesn't. I know if I had a daughter, and her boyfriend said that... I have a cabin in a very secluded area... Keep it at that haha
SinfulEnd 20
He's a legend if he lives past dinner ;D
tjv3 10
He is either stupid or brave not sure
killerkiss92 8
Stupidity can be mistaken for bravery.
mb2_native 15
I'm sure OP told her boyfriend that he's overprotective so he tried to come up with something to 'break the ice' between them and make him laugh. But I would just say he's just plain stupid.
LMAOking123 15
I imagine ops father was Obama somehow… lol
Alvarortor 14
Father in law, those who are ready for sex salute you
B5B0N35 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
well thats just great now your dad knows you had sex
igive 29
What gave that away?
User57777 13
What does knowing that matter?
zandalee 19
...obviously not a parent. Ignorance is bliss.
gc327072 30
36- well gosh, I guess you did, miss igive.
KY_Jelly 10
Hopefully your dad can have a sense of humor about it. If not, at least your boyfriend does.
jem970 19
What part of "overprotective" did you miss?
DanielleinDC 33
Well, he did say "sir".
license2chill 5
"over-protective father" + "sexual partner of his daughter" = a very very bad day for OP's bf. it would take a lot more than a sense of humor to get out of his house alive.
KingCeltic77 18
Even if he has a sense of humor, I doubt her dad will find it very funny.
7yzz 18
Theres a difference between having balls and being plain rude, I'm pretty much an anything goes kind of person, but if my future daughters boyfriend said this to me, i would take it as majorly disrespectful, and very arrogant, and a sign that he shows no intent to be on good terms with me. And it would probably make me want to get rid of him, one way or another.
Wheeeeeeeeeee 4
If you take offense at something like that then you really don't deserve respect.
Wheeeeeeeeeee 4
If you take offense at something like that then you really don't deserve respect.
paintedchocolate 30
Your boyfriend sounds like the perfect gentleman.
Steve95401 49
I'd say he is equal parts gentleman and idiot.
laya_fml 26
So, the perfect gentleidiot then?
Sam_Dchi 23
He's a keeper
aron666 25
If he will survive...
botanistjessica 24
First time I've seen this phrase with thumbs up.
vargasbrianna 17
Your Boyfriend is gunna need an ambulance here soon... haha
wlddog 14
It is my goal,,, no, my dream,,, to make at least two of my daughters future boyfriends piss themselves with fear. I will accept bleeding from them, but the main goal is to make them wet themselves.
Brandonep 13
129-Why would they bleed? They would bleed in fear? I don't follow...
wlddog 14
Because they said they slept with my daughter. Why would I not protect my wifes and daughters honor? Some idiot says something that stupid to me, i guarantee he will bleed.
mendini 25
yes give them what they deserve for joking with you
squideth 18
135 because your wife and daughter are their own people with their own lives and bodies, and don't need your protection? Bet you wouldn't say that about your sons. I'm glad my dad was mature enough to respect me as a human being; he never pulled shit like this.
wlddog 14
147 You obviously have no idea what honor is.
Wheeeeeeeeeee 4
@squideth Agreed. But also why should a boy be treated like a criminal for liking a girl? Maybe her dad was a date-rapist but that doesn't mean the boy is. Seriously, a grown man throwing his weight around like a schoolyard bully is a pathetic sight. Kudos to the boyfriend for mocking what should be mocked. The great Dara O'Briain has a similar bit from the other side, as a sensibly relaxed father confronted with a priggishly manly boyfriend. This post is only four years old, yet from the thumbs ups you'd think it had been posted in the fifties.
NeDaroft 5
So when's the funeral?
RottabFML 5
There won't be a funeral since the body is probably been buried in a backyard or shipped to some foreign country in dozen small boxes.
Shrouds 14
You know too much! Your next, hide!
EvilUndead 9
YOu mean her dad had a heart attack when he heard that?
Attica 20
Don't get too attached to your boyfriend. If this is how he normally acts, he probably won't survive a second encounter with your dad (that is, assuming he even survived this one).
XxDevilxXGt 26
Yea, because her father murdered him then and there. I mean he probably blew any relationship with the father he could have if he couldn't take the joke, but where's the fun in not being able to be yourself?
brackaman 18
Yea being yourself is great and all, but there's a time and place for a lot of things. That wasn't at all the time or place for op's bf to say that.
laden_swallow09 34
34- It's called common courtesy, having the maturity to filter whether humor or garbage spews forth from your lips.
haled9 3
Well now you know your boyfriend's got balls
Attica 20
Not for long, I'll bet.
AlexM42 5
Pretty sure that the problem was that she already knew it.
skullofdarkness 18
*had. Had balls.
BVBarmy_girl 22
When I read this FML, I picture your boyfriend bowing, in my head xD