Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, I went scuba diving for the first time. The diver took me down some 3 meters and I started showing the thumbs up. He thought I was excited. My breather wasn't working and I was using the sign he told me to use to go up. FML
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Top comments
buckdharma 37
Did you yank the right cord?
lilhellian 26
Don't worry that's just turbulence.. Giggity...
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Comments (100)
Steve95401 49
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Take it as a compliment.
Quest_ 13
And of course there's always one moron who tells the victim of sexual harassment that she should be flattered.
TheWindowLicker 13
Probably didn't actually think of what s/he typed, 49. Just wanted first comment. With that said, it's ******* creepy.
SillyGirl4602 23
She should take it as a compliment? I disagree. What he said was very creepy and inappropriate.
lilhellian 26
The fact that it's thumbed up! 0.0 Dafaq..
Brool_Story_Co 17
Wow, it was probably a ******* joke. Don't get so worked up over it.
Brett41 10
This is among some of the best (or worst) pickup lines.. including: "that shirt is very becoming of you.. of course, if i were on you id be cumming too. Hi there, [insert your name here]" and "Are you a Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get. Hi there, [insert your name here]".
cheezepoof2002 4
says the girl that none ever wanted to dive into.
buckdharma 37
Did you yank the right cord?
sugarshane007 20
I'm sure there is a fetish for that.
Yousuck24 21
There's a fetish for everything these days.
lilhellian 26
I have a fetish for your comments! Please give me more! /sarcasm
FMLandFYL2_xoxo 22
Nothing's more attractive than a girl who's brave enough to sky-dive :)
lilhellian 26
A girl who is brave enough to sky dive naked?
Brett41 10
Unless they're ugly, then skydiving doesn't really do anything..
Yousuck24 21
He really took a dive with that pun.
sugarshane007 20
He may even 'chute himself in the foot with that one.
klovemachine 24
His chute may open early :D
FurryPride 9
Only if he yanks the right cord!
LiterOfCola 16
Premature ejection.
TourettesGuyFTW 25
it was indeed a very in-descent comment to make!
BunchieRules 31
Agreed; that pun was just plane dumb.
judyjuice 17
This thread is a planewreck
Dblocker 18
Maybe he really wanted to painfully dive into your body. You never know people these days.
lilhellian 26
Don't worry that's just turbulence.. Giggity...
mojogirl 4
That's an awkward fall
ICastillo 24
Well did you feel something poking your back the whole way down?
heliraptor 13
Skydiving, lame pick up lines.. Sounds to me as if he's making up for a wonky parachute, if ya know what I mean..
laurenlovesjb 20
Say something to his boss/supervisor. That behavior is EXTREMELY unprofessional, not to mention rude. Don't let him get away with it.
Brett41 10
I bet JB uses this pickup line.
MayaTheBee_fml 10
Ah, when I clicked "show comment", I just knew it was gonna be someone commenting on JB..